Again I go Unnoticed
by xmaraudergirlsx
Summary: So, this is really awkward. For some reason, I've found myself trapped. Trapped in a corner with a roguishly good looking sixteen year old male in front of me with an amused glint in his pale, grey eyes. And I really, need to pee. Sirius/Mary MacDonald
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer: Nothing in this story belongs to me except the plot. **_

_**A/N: I know it says OC, but its Mary McDonald I'm using. Anyway...let me know if you like it and you think its worth continuing. Sort of Cliche, but fun!**_

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McDonald

So, this is really awkward.

For some reason, I've found myself trapped. Trapped in a corner with a roguishly good looking sixteen year old male in front of me with a finger pressed to his lips and an amused glint in his pale, grey eyes.

And, I really need to pee.

"What are you doing?" I hissed at the boy. I knew his name was Sirius Black and I knew he was a Sixth Year Gryffindor who just happened to be in every one of my classes. Well, that was last year during OWLs, so who knew what he was taking now. Merlin, I could barely think with the intoxicating smell of cinnamon spice so close to me. What was he doing trapping me in a corner anyway? He probably didn't even know my first name! I was about to poke him and shove him off me, but when I looked up to tell him off, his eyes were round and puppy-dog like and he was pleading with me. I stayed quiet, trying desperately to control my breathing and trying not to touch him. He was so elegant. Dishevelled, yes. But elegantly so. His thick, dark hair fell in his eyes and I wondered how he had realized that it looked better than it did when it was short and pushed back like when we were younger. I stopped breathing when I heard a voice from out of my line of sight.

"Padfoot. This is ridiculous. I've looked for you in every compartment. Including Evans' and she nearly blasted me into a wall…How was I to know asking her out within five minutes of seeing her made her so angry? Sirius, where are you!?"

Sirius' face was contorted as he clearly tried to cover up his laughter. His eyes met mine and he smiled lopsidedly. I could hear James Potter walking closer, approaching the corner where Black had me trapped. Dammit, could they just do what they were doing already, so I could go pee and get back to my friends? Sirius had pressed himself closer to me as James started to peek around the corner. He gave me a momentary apologetic look before in one swift motion he turned and jumped out, making Potter back up about five feet with a yell of surprise. Black was laughing hysterically now, pointing at his friend as Potter tried to protest. Then, without another glance at me, he put an arm around his disgruntled friend and walked back to their compartment, bickering the whole way. With the scent of spice still there, I opened the previously obstructed door and went to the bathroom, my heart beating a little quicker than usual.

* * *

"Mary! What took you so long?" Marlene asked as she kicked her legs on to the seat across from her. Unfortunately, they were a little too close to a still fuming Lily Evans, who pushed them off and looked at me.

"You missed Potter being a pig," she said almost nonchalantly if she hadn't been glaring.

I laughed. "Well, I had an awkward interaction myself," I said telling my friends about my Sirius Black encounter.

"Well…" Dorcas said thoughtfully filling the silence. "Atleast you have a good story to tell the new obsessives?"

"Fun" Lily and I said together, before laughing shortly.

"What is it about those guys? It's a shame we have to go outside of our house for decent male companionship" Lily said pushing her auburn hair off her face.

"Well, have you seen Alice Smith in fifth year? She's dating Frank Longbottom. They're both in Gryffindor" Marlene said.

"Yeah, but Frank's decent. The only Gryffindor boy in our year who's decent is Remus Lupin and he never goes out with anyone" Dorcas put in.

"I like to believe, one day when we're out of Hogwarts, real guys will appear as if from thin air…" Lily said snapping her fingers.

I stayed relatively quiet throughout the conversation and the train ride. Only one thing on my mind: Just what was wrong with Sirius Black anyway?

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I spied him sitting where he usually does. I don't really tell the other girls that I watch him this much. I'm not a stalker, but if he happens to be in the room, I think it's interesting to watch him. He fascinates me. He possesses all of the coolness and indifference; I have always wanted to have. He and James Potter, they can make an entire classroom laugh for twenty minutes straight and not care about the detention they were going to get. I suspect their fellow 'Marauders,' Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew bail them out somehow. They're so carefree and think so little about what people think of them, but they needn't worry anyway because everyone loves them. Lily is a lot like that. She's friends with everyone. Well, except Black and Potter. She makes people laugh, but she always followed the rules. Marlene gets just as many detentions as the 'Marauders' but that was down to laziness and lack of priorities. Dorcas is generally just shy and soft-spoken, so people just can't be mean to her but me, I'm not really noticed for anything. I can't say that people really know me for any reason other than I am Lily Evans' friend. It bothers me sometimes, but I suppose some people have to sit in the shadows.

He was coming over here and after our eyes met, he whispered something to Potter who answered and then they both laughed together. Lupin looked tired and Pettigrew looked, as always, proud to be with this group.

"Alright girls?" James Potter, the ringleader said.

We all nodded, some of us smiling, some of us glaring. Two guesses who? And now Potter was grinning. He was in his element when he interacted with our Lily, and as much as he frustrated her, I knew she thrived on their back-and-forth exchanges. Oh until they involved Severus. Or, they just got out of hand. Well…essentially, Lily made the rules of their discourse and Potter was happy to follow.

"Evans, you're glowing today. Have you been wearing more make up or do I make you blush?" Potter said, a mischevious grin creeping on to his face.

Lily looked bored. "Try again Potter. Have you considered the horribly hot weather we're having? Or perhaps the fact that I am so entirely furious every time you're within a five foot radius?" She smiled sarcastically and he laughed.

"Oh, it hurts…" he said clutching his heart before looking at the rest of us. His eyes seemed to glaze over me as he grinned a genuine hello at Dorcas and spoke,

"Well, see you all later I suppose. McKinnon, careful to stay away from those detentions this year, you're giving us a run for our money…" he then nodded and nudged Sirius who looked at me and smirked.

"Oh McNamey…thanks for not giving us away earlier" he said with a wink, making a slight blush creep to my cheeks. He then instantly followed James and Peter while Remus lagged behind.

"Have a good summer everyone?" he asked politely.

We all nodded vaguely until Lily spoke, "Remus, tell your friends that Mary's last name is McDonald and they're pricks for not knowing considering we've been in school together for years!"

Remus looked sheepish. "I think we all knew except Sirius. You know him…he's oblivious to everyone."

I shrugged. 'It's really not a big deal."

"I'll talk to him anyway…" Remus said with a smile before waving at us all and hurrying after his friends.

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It was the same as always in the common room after the Welcome Feast, everyone just sitting and chatting, catching up on our summers. The only difference was how it ended. I was following the girls upstairs to turn in when I felt a hand grab my wrist. I looked down to see who it was attached to, and it was Sirius Black, still playing a game of exploding snap. He didn't look at me or let me go until he put down his last card and his friends groaned at his victory. He finally tilted his head up and looked at me.

"What?" I said stupidly.

"I apologize for getting your name wrong McDonald."

I shrugged. "It's not a big deal Black"

He smiled at me and paused before saying, "How about to avoid further confusion, I call you Mary? You call me Sirius." It was more of an order rather than a question.

I stared at him as his hand slipped away from mine. He stood and looked at me expectantly. Finally I nodded curtly and he grinned before winking and racing Potter and the others up the stairs.

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_**Read and Review Please!!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys!! Just so you know, no, I haven't lost sight of Before James, I will be continuing that story and may even look into finally updating my old stories, I miss them!! :) Enjoy this chapter**_

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Toast

Honestly. For someone that good looking, that Sirius Black could be a right prat. I felt foolish for taking his proposal of being on a first name basis seriously. It was three days into the school year and he had yet to say a word to me. Smiled politely at Dorcas, yes. Flirted with Marlene, sure. Teased Lily, absolutely! But not so much as a nod in my direction. That's right. I felt foolish for thinking this might be the year that someone other than my friends took notice of me.

I had noticed that Lily was a little quieter than usual. I assumed it was because of the blow up she and Severus had had recently. I think she was seriously reconsidering their friendship and it made me happy. Severus Snape wasn't a terribly nice human being. Sure, he was wonderful to Lily, but that's because he's in love with her. But then again, sometimes he's cruel and hurtful. She hardly lets 'mudblood' bother her anymore, but hearing it from someone who's supposed to be one of your best mates, is probably not fun. I think James Potter is a right prat, but I've always noticed the way he flinches when someone calls her that behind her back, and then they usually find themselves in some predicament that lands them in the Hospital Wing. Sometimes I secretly hope Lily will give him a chance, but then again, I seem to have a weakness for people like Black and Potter.

I sat quietly in Transfiguration, a little early. I wasn't really in the mood for breakfast today, so I'd missed the girls this morning. I knew I'd see them all shortly however because this was one of the classes we all had together. In fact all the Sixth Year Gryffindors were apparently in this class. So, I'd have another quiet day as I watched others steal all the limelight. Merlin, I wish I was more interesting sometimes.

I giggled to myself as Lily walked in to the room, rolling her beautiful green eyes at Potter who was holding out a lily flower to her. He was following her until she took it, so when she sat in the seat beside me she finally spoke.

"Potter, I know my name may cause you to assume I only have interest in that particular flower, but daffodils are my favourite. Sorry."

The class laughed at this and Lily smiled triumphantly at a slightly embarrassed Potter.

"Shame. Lilies are the only kind of flower I'm interested in…" he replied suggestively, not skipping a beat.

Everyone laughed again and Sirius pushed his friend to sit at the desk behind us. I felt a blush creep to my neck at the thought of Sirius seeing my back all year. Shaking my head I tried to snap out of it and waved at Marlene and Dorcas who were sitting in the other row. They smiled and returned to some conversation they were having as Lily turned to me.

"Do you have any frees today Mary?" she asked.

I looked at my timetable. "One after this, but then I have Arithmancy."

Lily made a face. "How you decided to carry on with that class, I'll never know!"

I shrugged. "Damn, I knew I should've gotten breakfast." I said poking my growling stomach making Lily laugh.

Suddenly I felt a light tapping on my shoulder and I turned. Sirius Black was leaning slightly over his desk to reach me. I noticed his hair seemed a little more disheveled. He probably slept in. Or he was channeling Potter. Which, while it suited the bespectacled boy very much, was not a great look for Black. But then again, could he ever look bad? I looked at him expectantly, not knowing what he wanted. Potter suddenly seemed very interested in what was going on and I nervously wondered if they'd started noticing how I couldn't keep my eyes off Black.

"Noticed you weren't at breakfast today Mary. Toast?" he asked offering me the stack he'd brought with him.

I was rather speechless. He noticed? He noticed I was missing. He was offering me toast. I didn't know which one to be more excited about.

"Careful Mary. I wouldn't be surprised if it was poisoned…' Lily said turning and smirking playfully at Black. I've noticed they get along much better than she and Potter do. Probably because Sirius isn't constantly declaring his undying love for her. Well, he doesn't really do that to anyone.

"It's alright Lily, I would never let Sirius poison your best mate" James said grinning.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well, Mary it looks as though Evans and Potter are too obsessed with each other to notice that I am currently eating this toast and so, if it were to be poisoned, I'd probably be dead right now. So…have a piece."

I didn't know what to say. Or how to react. Why was all this attention suddenly being put on me. I began fidgeting with the bottom of my stool and looking from the toast to Sirius and back again.

"Honestly, Mary just take a piece or you'll be complaining all day" Lily said shaking her head and turning to face Professor McGonagall who had just entered the room.

"Oi McDonald, reckon I should bring Lily toast one day?" James asked and I looked at him with rather a confused expression.

Sirius laughed shortly at this but began to cover up the toast, shaking his head with impatience.

"No!" I hissed, suddenly finding my voice. He smirked and said,

"What is it that you'd like Mary?"

I found it strange hearing him say my name. My first name and not my last like his friends did. Why hadn't he eased me into this new development!?

"Mr Black! Is there a reason you are refusing to pay attention to me and instead are distracting Miss McDonald from doing so?" McGonagall said sharply from the front, tapping her foot.

I whipped around to face the front, but I heard Sirius speak in lazy voice that sounded like he was smiling. "Oh Miss…I was only offering Mary some of my toast because she missed breakfast."

Suddenly all eyes were on me, and I was beginning to get a little flustered. Of course, the only reason I get some attention today would be because of that damn Black.

Professor McGonagall looked as though she didn't know what to say. She liked me because Transfiguration was one of my better subjects and although the Marauders were cheeky, it was clearly their best class too. She seemed to be debating whether to ignore it or not.

"Not to mention…" James Potter began slyly,

"…if her tummy keeps growling, I may not be able to pay attention!" Sirius finished, equally slyly.

I was horrified. I thought it could not get worse as I watched the class laugh at me and the Professor fight to cover he own smile. It did. It did get worse though. My rather fabulous stomach, for some bizarre reason, seemed to believe it would be a splendid idea to growl extremely loudly. So loudly in fact, it rang out around the classroom and over everyone's laughter. There was a pause, before everyone cracked up again and only Dorcas threw me a sympathetic look. Lily and Marlene were too busy laughing to notice the horror in my expression. Finally Professor McGonagall quieted everyone down and began the lesson. As she did, I did the only thing I could think of. I turned around and gave Sirius Black the meanest look I could muster. He seemed genuinely surprised, but I whipped around and missed his next expression.

I started feverishly writing down notes about our Transfiguration NEWT when suddenly, I felt a plop on my desk. I looked up and saw the stack of toast sitting in front of me, with a smily face drawn lazily on the napkin. I couldn't help but grin and take a big bite of the toast.

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_**A/N: What did you think?**_


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: Thank you all for your encouraging reviews, I'm having a blast with this story, its my first one where I write first person so sometimes I mess up my tenses, but its a lot of fun nonetheless. There is Sirius' POV in this and I may consider making alternate chapters between Sirius POV and Mary POV. You guys let me know if this is a good plan. ANyway, enjoy!_**

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Various Thoughts

**SIRIUS POV**

I sighed to myself after having just eaten a hearty Wednesday lunch.

"Satisfied now?" Moony asked sarcastically. He'd finished an hour ago.

"Very much so, thanks Moony" I said pleasantly knowing it would only piss him off more. He growled to himself and I chuckled before poking James in the head.

"Oi mate, get your stupid eyes off Evans. She's not interested for the fiftieth time!"

Prongs looked well annoyed at me. He messed up that pathetic excuse for hair and glared at me.

"Comin' on to me Prongs?" I asked in the same pleasant voice that seems to irritate so many of my friends. He looks a right prat when he does that in front of Evans. I wonder if he knows?

"Well, at least I didn't give away the only breakfast I'd managed to get after I slept in, to the quiet girl who no one talks to…." James said slyly, making Remus cover his stupid mouth to 'pretend' to hide his bloody laughter. At least Wormy refuses to ridicule me. He's a loyal friend, he is. Or it could be because he's too busy stuffing his fat mouth with pie.

"Look…I felt bad that I messed up her name alright? I can remember every girl you've messed around with to try and forget Evans, but I can't remember a girl who I've been going to school with for six years? Seems a bit conceited mate." I said this pointedly because if Prongsie ever wants a real chance with Evans, he's going to have to deflate that bighead of his. Bighead. Blimey, I hope he figures it out. It won't be kind if I have to break it to him when he's thirty and alone...and still cocky. Haha.

"Yeah, well I think she's odd. The only thing I really know about her is that she's Lily's friend!" Prongs was saying seriously.

"Isn't that all you know about anybody Prongs?" Moony asked laughing. I love him sometimes. He's so good at switching loyalties between Prongs and I! Shame, we usually take each other's sides, otherwise I'm sure one of us would be all for supporting Moony…

James was blushing. He's a right little girl about Evans. He's always been like that with the ladies. He started the Evans obsession at the end of Fourth Year but even before that, and during even…he becomes all about making girls feel like they're "so special" or whatever he calls it. Apparently Evans is on a completely different level, that he can't handle it, so that's why he gets nervous and spouts silly, derogatory comments and all that codswallop. I always liked to pretend it was because he didn't know any better. He loves fighting with her though. I reckon she loves it too. There is SO much sexual tension, sometimes I'm a tiny bit uncomfortable. I feel like one day, they'll just pause and tear each other's clothes off and start making passionate, raunchy love to each other right in the middle of the common room. And that, would be a little disturbing.

I don't know why everyone is always stressing about girls. I mean yeah there are some beautiful ones. Occasionally, some interesting ones…but never ones which are going to be just like my mates. Not one girl has ever told me off for being dumb or cheeky or just completely out of line. I mean other than Evans, but she's usually messing about. She likes me so much better than Prongs…no I'm kidding, she's definitely in love with Prongs, but currently, she can tolerate me much better. Ha. Oh and then there's Minnie, but Minnie's a little old and I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to date a teacher. I ought to look into it though…just in case she's around when I graduate. Wow, I have some random ass, weird thoughts running through my head, don't I?? Honestly Minerva McGonagall? I must see some kind of person for this. Maybe I'll start paying Dumbly to diagnose me… And people are always telling me I look so composed. Pfftttt. HA! I'd like to see them see the inside of my head one day. I'm batshit bonkers on the inside. I suppose it's cos I have more fun inside my head than I do with anyone other than the Marauders. Maybe that's why I always look bored. Or…well, yeah, I always am bored.

And…well suddenly there's Mary McDonald. I don't fancy her or anything. It isn't even that she attracts me. She's pretty, I suppose…not like Evans pretty…not even really Meadowes pretty. She definitely doesn't have the flirtatious factor McKinnon does. I don't know. I suppose I noticed her because no one else ever did. And that's why she intrigues me. And for some reason, I cant put my finger on why yet….but I always seem to be having such a fantastic time when I'm in the same room as her. Whether it involves her or not.

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**MARY POV**

I sat in the corner of the library by myself. Lily was still sleeping, it was early on a Saturday, so I wasn't surprised. Marlene had spent the night in some boy's room and Dorcas was sitting by the lake relaxing. We all did the same thing on Saturday mornings, separately. I like the quiet of the library and right now I was glad for the peace and quiet. Ever since the incident in Transfiguration, in the last few days, the Marauders have taken to calling me Rumbly Mary. Not their most clever nickname, but it seems to have stuck. I was now not only known for being Lily Evans' best friend, but now as the girl with the extroadinarily loud, rumbling stomach. Perfect. Sixth year was going smashingly already. It was all Black's fault. How he switches from being nice to being someone who uses others to get a laugh out of them, I'll never know! I have decided to no longer fall for his charms! It'll be easy! I'm just going to read and be happy to be alone.

Shit. He's here. Why? How? Sirius Black hasn't stepped a foot in the library since….wait, Sirius Black has NEVER stepped a foot in the library. Why would he be here now?

"Look, no one's here guys, calm down…" I heard Remus say in a tired voice. I saw him stop and turn to face three very disgruntled boys.

"But Moony, I don't get why we have to be here? You always just bring us books when we're getting up to no good!"

I stifled a laugh. Remus Lupin had never been able to control them. I guess he must've just said "if you can't beat them, join 'em", because that's what he seemed to be doing.

"Look, I just want to figure out if we need to buy special parchment or not…and if we do I don't wanna hunt you lot down when we need to sneak off to Hogsmeade!"

"Let's go anyway, I could use a firewhisky!" I heard Black say. His face came momentarily into view and I saw the flicker of his charming smile, making my heart sink. No. It was unlikely I was going to ever forget about that prat. Damn that gleaming hair! Damn that gorgeous smile! Damn those cloudy grey eyes full of thought and mystery. Ugh. Too many romance novels this summer Mary…

I heard James and Peter laugh loudly in response while Remus clicked his tongue and said, "Honestly Padfoot, it's not even noon and you want to start drinking…"

"You can never start too early" he replied cheerfully with a hint of sarcasm.

"Which passage should we take?" Pettigrew chimed in. I realized this conversation was probably not one they wanted anyone to hear because the other three immediately shushed him.

"Blimey Pete! You trying to give away our secrets?" Potter said.

I cleared my throat loudly and their voices stopped instantly. Remus turned and the other three emerged, all of them striding toward me.

"How much did you hear!?" Peter asked.

I raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged. "Not a lot. I don't often eavesdrop, regardless of how loud certain people might talk." Pettigrew trying to be intimidating. That's a laugh! I'd have to tell Lily later.

"It's alright…Rumbly won't tell, will you love?" Potter asked cockily and Remus reinforced him, at the same time looking at me very apologetically. I suddenly want Lily to never ever get together with that broom head.

"Come along Rum….you could use a drink couldn't you?" Sirius said perching on the arm of my chair and looking into my eyes.

I looked back and got suddenly very nervous, not knowing how to respond. Did he really want me to come? Why was he so confusing? I know he doesn't like me…but he's always doing these random confusing things…oh Merlin, how I hate boys!!

"Oh shove it Padfoot, Mary doesn't want to come! Leave her alone," Remus said with a sincere smile which made me smile back, despite being disappointed that I hadn't agreed before he'd said that.

Sirius barked with laughter. "Oh come on Moony, did you really think I was seriously asking Rumbly Mary out with us?" He kept laughing, rather obnoxiously putting an arm around Potter and Pettigrew and leaving the library. Remus looked stunned and didn't seem to know what to say.

"It's ok Remus, it's not your fault your friends are pricks…"

He chuckled nervously before nodding and exiting too.

I hate popular boys. I hate their stupid jokes and their perfectly disheveled hair and beautiful bone structure. Oh I hate them!!

More than that, I HATE Sirius Black.

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_**A/N: Haha. The plot thickennns...  
**_

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	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Are you reading? Do you like? Is Sirius POV working? I kind of like it. Thanks for those reviews I did receive. Enjoy :)  
**_

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Laughing Duel

**MARY POV**

Oh I wish I was dead. No really, I'm watching Marlene practice the disarming charm on me (for about the millionth time in 2 years) and she still hasn't got the hang of it. I worry about her sometimes. How does she expect to live in this war and not know how to disarm properly? I suppose her stunning spells aren't terrible, I should tell her to just use them if she's ever in a duel.

"Hey, McKinnon, try raising your wrist higher"

My heart stopped. It always does when he talks. He has this low, bored sounding voice and it makes me tremble. And that makes me angry. It makes me angry that someone who doesn't even think I'm worth spending time with has that effect on me.

Suddenly, my wand was flying out of my hand and I heard Marlene squeal with excitement. Old Professor Draftwood patted her on the back.

"Finally" was all he said before checking on some other people.

"Well, I suppose that would work, if a Death Eater decided to not pay attention" I said crossly, going to pick up my wand.

Marlene made a face. "Oh come on Mary, can't you be excited! You've been trying to teach me that spell all lesson and Sirius finally got me to do it."

I looked at Sirius who was smirking. "Thank you Black, I'll be sure to come to you the next time I need to be saved," I said rolling my eyes, forgetting how much I longed for him because I was so irritated. He had a strange expression on his face, almost as if he was impressed, but he just started to bow. Oh shit. I reluctantly bowed and we both raised our wands. I heard him mutter the disarming spell but I threw up a shield quickly and started to back away, sending the body bind curse at him. He dodged it almost lazily and suddenly I was upside down hanging by my ankle. Holding my skirt in place, I sighed and thought "Rictumsempra" and flicked my wand wrist, making the laughter that was already in his eyes became a reality. He held his sides and laughed uncontrollably, buying me some time to mutter the counter-curse of the spell he put on me, landing rather gracefully (if I do say so myself) on my feet. I then shouted, "Expelliarmus" and his wand flew from his hands and I caught it deftly. Using it, I muttered, "Finite Incantem" and he stopped laughing. I hadn't noticed but the class had stopped to watch our spontaneous duel and everyone burst into applause and laughter. I smiled softly, not really looking at anyone. Sirius said nothing but ran a hand through his dishevelled hair, shaking his head. His eyes were amused and completely unexpectedly, he grinned at me.

The Defense Teacher chuckled and said happily, "Nice work Mary, Ten Points" before ushering people back to their practicing. I walked to him slowly, ignoring the beaming smile Lily was sending me, the impressed look Dorcas had on her face and the put-out expression Marlene gave me. My eyes were locked with Sirius' and I wordlessly handed him his wand. He smiled lopsidedly and my stomach flipped over.

"Or maybe I ought to come to you if I'm looking for some protection…" Sirius said, simultaneously noticing the innuendo and winking. I blushed and started to walk away as James Potter thumped me on the back. "That was bloody brilliant McDonald! I didn't know you had it in you". I didn't turn around, so they couldn't see the giant grin on my face.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Now what the hell do you suppose I do?

This Mary girl had the guts to mock me in class today. I found it all rather amusing and I'm quickly falling into a pool of intrigue for this girl. Prongs gave me his mock approval after the little episode today, but what the hell would I even need that for? I don't fancy her. I don't. I've just never quite noticed how pretty she looked when she smiled before. Oh rubbish. I suppose Prongs has rubbed off on me. He's always saying silly things like that about Evans. "I could drown in her eyes". Bollocks. Who even likes that sappy stuff? I am currently very annoyed. Prongs and Moony have been playing Chess for like forty-five hours, no joke. Alright, maybe minutes…but honestly, don't they ever get bored of that game? I'm pretty sure Petey has been staring at me for a total of forty of those minutes hoping that I'll play Exploding Snap with him, but he'll have to wait much longer if he thinks that's going to happen. I have a lot of thinking to do. I hope Mary doesn't think I'm staring at her menacingly. I think Marlene may have put that in her head because she looks a little frightened every time she glances over here.

She thinks I don't know she's always looking. I've always known. It's hard not to notice that someone is taking very serious note of your every move. I wouldn't say she's a stalker. I've had some of those. But no, she definitely pays me a lot of mind. I just started referring to her as 'that girl' in my head. Now, she's Mary McDonald. Girl who I trap in corners so I can scare James; girl I give toast to; girl I ask to come to Hogsmeade but pretend I was joking because I was embarrassed. And now, girl who's better at dueling than me. Bloody hell. This could be a problem.

"Hey Black!" Evans called out and I shifted my head ever so slightly to acknowledge her presence. "You look rather sad? Didn't anyone make you laugh today?" she said slyly. People around us laughed. They had all heard. Stuff like that travels fast at Hogwarts. Someone gets made a fool of and suddenly it's everyone's business. I smiled slightly, ignoring the question and looked at Mary. She was the only one not laughing, she was very pointedly not looking at me and her face had a very pale blush in her cheeks. It made her look very pleasant indeed. Oh dammit, Prongs and his stupid, romantic, rubbing off. Ugh.

"You don't look all that happy yourself Evans…" Prongs said noting her satisfied smirk and trying to come to my rescue. Bless him. He's normally very funny, Evans just makes him nervous.

"Maybe I can cheer you up…" he finished with a wink. Evans looked at him exasperatedly smirked again and said,

"Oh Potter. You always manage make me laugh…"

Prongs looked very surprised and happy at this until he noticed she was laughing hysterically at his expression. That Evans can be so cruel. She's very funny. And unlike Prongs, she is all the time.

James sighed and pushed the chess board away. He'd lost again. Moony always wins the logic games. Finally, now I might be less bored.

"So, Sirius still reeling from your bitter defeat?" Remus asked kicking his legs up.

I shrugged indifferently. "I don't know why everyone is making a fuss. I laughed too remember? She's good at dueling I suppose."

"I reckon you've got a little crush Padfoot…" James said smirking, to which Peter giggled squeakily.

"Oh stop" I said rolling my eyes. "I'm bored, wish it was full moon tonight!" I repeated for about the millionth time since we'd started transforming. Remus rolled his eyes.

"Come on mate, it's a week away, be happy that you're not dealing with my mood swings!"

It true, that guy is very moody during his 'time of the month'. I snickered at this thought but the boys ignored me. They're very used to me being inside my head all the time, they don't even bother asking what I'm laughing about anymore.

"Why don't you ask McDonald out Padfoot? Then we could double date!" James said with a thrilled expression.

I sighed. "There are three little details you neglect to consider mate. One, I have no feelings for Mary. Two, Evans has no feelings for you. Three, that was the girliest thing you've ever said."

James shoved me. He knows I'm only kidding. None of my friends take anything very seriously which is the way I like it. Dwelling on unimportant things is something Marauders don't do.

"She's very nice Sirius, maybe you ought to think about getting to know her!" Remus said in his 'wise' voice.

"I suppose you should consider getting to know Marlene then!" I teased back, referring to his long standing crush on the girl who dated about as many boys in a month as she has detentions.

Remus rolled his eyes. "It'd be too dangerous, even if I thought I stood a chance"

"You've got to stop with this whole 'furry little problem' getting the best of your sex life mate!" James said, seriously. Remus just brushed it off. He always does.

"I can't believe you switched from Care of Magical Creatures Padfoot" Peter whined. He's been complaining all week. I just decided that I wanted to do Arithmancy instead after walking into class and seeing that I knew everything on the syllabus for Magical Creatures already.

"Perhaps you should learn to stand on your own four paws Petey," I said waving him away.

"Well lads, I have to go patrol" Remus said getting up with a sigh and going over to a waiting Lily.

"Wish I was a Prefect…" James said eyeing them jealously.

I laughed heartily. "No you don't mate." I looked over to the girls and noticed that Mary was missing too.

Peter went off to the bathroom and I took the time to ask James, "Where'd McDonald go?"

James shrugged. "Didn't you see her walk out?"

I shook my head and fumbled around in my pockets for the map. James was eyeing me carefully.

"You have a thing for her don't you?" he said, seriously this time. I paused and looked at him.

"Maybe" I said non-committingly. He knew I would only admit this to him and didn't push me to say more. I looked down at the map and saw the dot Mary McDonald moving slowly towards the Owlery. I stood up. I don't know why, but I wanted to look for her.

"See you later yeh?" I said to James who nodded at me, not saying anything to tease me. I headed to the portrait hole, glancing at my watch. There was about fifteen minutes until curfew and I wanted to be careful not to run into Moony and Evans. Moony always complains about us putting him in uncomfortable positions with his fellow prefects, so we've grown to try and avoid getting in trouble when he's patrolling.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I reached the Owlery and sat down to finish the last of my letter. It was to my older sister who works at the Ministry. She was always good with boys, so I wanted to ask her what she thought about the whole Sirius Black situation. She knew how hot he was because she'd only just left Hogwarts. I was still so embarrassed. I didn't mean to make him look like a fool. He was just too obsessed with fancy spells, he didn't act as quickly as he should've. Marlene told me that if I wanted to impress a boy, I should let him win. I don't really understand the logic in that, but maybe she's right. Not that Sirius Black would ever really notice me in that way. I wish he would go back to not knowing I existed. It was a lot easier that way. Now he knew me. He knew my name and we were becoming…well…acquaintances? I folded the letter and sat remembering his lopsided grin and twinkling grey eyes. My stomach did the usual flip flop. What I wouldn't give to have him smile like that at me for no reason at all. Not because I just won a duel.

"Mary, Mary, Mary McDonald, we meet again…you're not going to duel me again are you?"

My head jerked up and I saw the same lopsided grin and twinkling grey eyes. He flicked his dark hair off his eyes as he leaned against the entranceway and looked at me expectantly.

Now what do I do?!

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_**Review pleaaaaaaaaaaase!!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Thank you so much for your positive feedback guys!! Please keep telling me how I'm doing, is there something I'm missing? A conversation/situation you'd like to see? Love you allll!!**_

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Conversation in the Owlery

**SIRIUS POV**

I don't know why I was there. As I leaned in the entranceway, smiling at a surprised Mary, a thousand thoughts were running through my head. Would Moony and Evans come by? What was Emmeline Vance, the Ravenclaw I dated last year doing right now? What adventure would Padfoot lead the other Marauders into next week in the light of the full moon? The last thing I was thinking about was talking to Mary McDonald.

"I…You were a good match for me" she said, suddenly blushing at her words.

I was confused. Oh the duel. Of course. "Yeah, I just like being a show-off too much" I laughed and called to my Eagle Owl, Lestat. He came swooping down to me, and perched on my arm. I stroked his dark feathers, thinking about what I would do. I had no letter to send.

"Sending a letter?" she asked conversationally, as a school barn Owl came over to her. I shrugged in response. She attached a roll to its leg and said, "Sarah McDonald, Department of Improper Use of Magic, The Ministry". The owl nodded importantly and flew off. She went to sit on the bench, looking up at the owls sleeping. They did look rather beautiful clustered at different perches. I wondered why I didn't come here more often. Not really knowing what else to do, I fished a useless roll of parchment out of my pocket. A Zonko's order form. That would do. I sent Lestat off and joined Mary on the bench. We both watched the owls, listening to the low hooting and murmurs, which only owls make.

"So, you're Sarah McDonald's sister?" I asked, not looking at her. I remembered Sarah. She was beautiful and popular and two years older. I remember James once asking her out. She'd laughed at him and said he was better off finding someone who didn't know he was in love with Evans.

"Yeah" she answered quietly. She seemed to be in deep thought. I wondered if I was bothering her. I sort of didn't care though.

"What's your favourite color?" I asked out of the blue. Damn. What a dumb question. I didn't even want to know the answer. This girl had a strange effect on me. She was always so wrapped up in her head. I felt like that was the only thing we had in common. But maybe that's the only thing that mattered.

"Plum" she said with a shrug looking at me. "Why?"

I liked this. She didn't go with the easy follow on question. Most girls would have just asked me mine. I ignored it, at first.

"Plum, that's interesting. Out of the box. Most people would've just said purple or violet if they liked plum"

She shrugged again. "I think plum's are beautiful and no color other than plum describes it."

I laughed. "You're very insightful".

She laughed. "Oh shut up"

I grinned to myself. "Colors, they say a lot about a person" I looked at her, smiling.

She seemed to stiffen. Oh wow, she had it bad. I wish I could be less conceited about this, but that girl is smitten with me. Why though? I know I'm good looking. There's no use in pretending I don't know that. But Mary seemed like looks weren't the most important thing to her. I suppose her friends are all fairly popular, maybe we're the sorts of people she is drawn to. I cringed inwardly. I hated thinking this way. My problem is, I'm well aware of my best qualities and I'm honest about it. I suppose that could be conceited, but really, isn't it just honest? I wanted to ask her but suddenly I was noticing her eyes. They were green, but they were soft and not vivid like Evans'. They weren't the first thing you'd notice about her, but suddenly I knew what James meant when he said he could drown in someone's eyes. There was so much there, but I didn't know what it was. At least not yet.

"What do you think makes people notice other people?" she asked as if we were playing a game of truth.

"What do you mean?" I said leaning back into the bench, facing her. She wasn't facing me. It was like she was afraid of that.

"Like…why do you think people admire you and your friends so much, but only notice some people if they're associated with others?" she asked quietly. Was she really being so direct? What made her think she could trust me with a question like this? Why did she want to know why no one knew who she was?

I thought long and hard before I spoke. "I suppose…I suppose me and James have personalities which feed off interaction. Feed off attention. My friends are my friends because they know me and they don't need to see me showing off all the time to like me."

"I understand that. My friends like me because of the person I am. Because they took the time to know me and figure out if they liked my personality before writing me off. But why should I have to act out or do something flashy for everyone else to notice me? It seems unfair." She looked bitter and bit her lip as she said this. Something in her eyes told me this was the first time she was saying these thoughts out loud. I wanted her to know that her thoughts mattered, so I continued.

"It is unfair. Me and James act like pricks because it amuses us. It's not for anyone other than ourselves, but I think we like the fact that people watch us. People like to guess what we're going to do next. But think about Remus. He doesn't show off at all and everyone knows him, everyone likes him. Pete…well, sometimes I wonder why anyone knows Petey at all" I laughed softly to myself.

"There, that's my point. Remus is like Dorcas, they're nice to everyone and that's what they're known for. And Peter, he's that odd guy who hangs out with people who everyone else wants to hang out with…"

"We're friends with Pete for reasons people can't figure out, but he's loyal, he's steady, he's fun. He's annoying, sure. But that's why we like him, we like to mess with him. But anyone of us would die for him. And I don't say that lightly" I stressed this because sometimes I don't think people understand how deep rooted the Marauder friendships are.

She nodded, looking unsurprised. "I feel the same way about my friends".

Neither one of us said anything for a long time. Finally she spoke again. "I suppose what I'm trying to understand is, why no one notices me for anything. I try not to let it bother me, but it does. Like I said, Dorcas, she's so nice everyone loves her for it. Marlene gets a lot of detention and is a serial dater and Lily is Lily Evans, the object of James Potter's desire because she's beautiful and brilliant and funny and everything people wish they were" she looked sad and I felt the urge to brush her hair out of her thoughtful, subdued, beautiful green eyes. "But people think my last name is McNamey. Or I'm just 'that girl who's friends with Lily Evans' " Her eyes were glassy for a moment and I didn't know what to say.

I looked at her and she looked at the owls.

I finally cleared my throat urging her to look at me. I was smiling and didn't stop until she cracked a smile of her own. "Well love," I began, my voice for some reason throaty, "now you're Mary, the girl who embarrassed Sirius Black in a duel."

It made her laugh. She smiled happily at me and then laughed and laughed and it felt so good to have been the one to make her mood change. It felt better to make her laugh than it did when I made the entire Great Hall laugh because I proposed to Minerva McGonagall on her birthday.

"Oh!" she said finally stopping laughing and wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes. She looked at me and smiled brightly. I had never seen her face look like this before and it made me wonder how anyone could ignore someone with such a glowing smile. "Well, I ought to get to bed…" she got up and looked at me awkwardly. I waved, from my lounging position and she walked away. I caught my breath and didn't move until her dot had disappeared into the Girl's dormitory and Remus Lupin and Lily Evans were both in bed.

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_**A/N: i know its short, but it felt like an appropriate time to stop. Review please!!**_

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	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Thanks for the love everyone!! Please enjoy this, its a little longer :)**_

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Confusion and Notes

**MARY POV**

Last night I walked into the dormitory with a grin rivaling Potter's when Lily calls him by his first name. The girls were all curious. Lily even fought the urge to scold me for being out after hours. As much as I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that me and Sirius Black had had the most amazing conversation in the Owlery ever, I fought the urge and just shrugged getting under my covers to sleep. It felt nice knowing I had just shared a moment with Sirius Black that no one else would probably really know about.

Bloody Hell. I overslept this morning. AGAIN! I think I was enjoying my dream too much. But no Sirius Black dream was worth getting a detention for being late! I would miss breakfast again but I hoped Lily might have thought to get me something. With any luck Sirius might have more toast. I finally felt like Sixth year was becoming something I would look forward to.

I hurried into Transfiguration just in time. Professor McGonagall wasn't there yet, so I slid into my seat. Lily was missing. I suppose she was held up in the corridor breaking up a fight or something. I sat patiently and felt my stomach swoop as usual as Sirius strolled in talking to James. Potter looked like he was a little upset, I wondered if Lily had just yelled at him, but didn't think about it because I smiled brightly at Sirius. He nodded at me in his indifferent sort of way and he and James sat behind me as usual. I noticed that Sirius had a stack of toast and considering the conversation we had yesterday, I felt brave enough to turn and say,

"Hey, mind if I snag a piece of toast?"

A few people noticed. I suppose they weren't used to seeing Sirius and I interact. And they always watch Sirius and James, so it was no surprise, they noticed.

He looked at me rather coolly and his grey eyes were cloudy and mysterious as ever. Not clear and open the way they'd been last night.

"Uh, I'd rather not…it's all I have" he said.

A few people snickered and he looked a bit amused as his eyes darted around. I felt warmth rush to my cheeks and I was filled with embarrassment. I said nothing and just turned around, my ears on fire. Luckily Lily was hurrying towards me and placed a stack of toast and jam in front of me before giving Potter a dirty look. I smiled at her gratefully but it was hard to swallow. I felt the familiar ball in my throat I always got when I was on the verge of tears. I listened rather dully as McGonagall began the lesson and didn't laugh as usual at the jokes the Marauders made at random intervals. When we began the practical part of the lesson, transforming toadstools into stools, we all went to the front to collect our toadstools and stand practicing. I flinched as Sirius placed a hand lightly on my waist to get through the small space between desks to the front. He didn't notice.

"Mary, what's wrong?? You've looked a bit off all morning!?" Lily demanded of me as we walked to the common room. We had a free before Lily went to Ancient Runes and I went to Arithmancy. All the Marauders except Peter had the same free. I was surprised because Sirius was there. He hadn't been the week before. I supposed he'd dropped a class or switched because he looked like he very much belonged here and was not skiving. He didn't pay me any attention and I was grateful for that. I needed to talk to Lily. When we sat, I told her vaguely what had happened and she had a funny expression on her face when I was done.

"That's strange. He didn't say anything to you in class".

"I know. Except before you got there. I asked if I could have piece of his toast and he flat refused as if I were asking him to kiss me!" The ball in my throat was back but I blinked the feeling away. Lily purposely pretended not to notice.

"Oh Mary, it seemed like you both really enjoyed your conversation last night! Maybe something happened to him. I know he ran away from home this summer. He's living with Potter, maybe it was something with his family…" she said encouragingly.

I wanted to believe her, but I knew it wasn't true. He just didn't want to speak to me in front of people. He didn't want to ruin his image by interacting with a nobody. I sighed and nodded at her. "You're probably right Lil. I don't know why I'm so upset…"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Well that's obvious. You fancy the pants off of him!" she laughed and it made me smile.

"I'm that obvious?"

Lily laughed and shook her head. "Oh come on Mary. I know you better than anyone else. Of course I'll notice, but don't worry I'm the only one!"

I smiled but there was a jab in my stomach. Yup, no one noticed me.

"Hey, I promised I'd go meet Sev. Are you ok?" She was looking at me in her concerned way which makes me love her. She's such a good best friend to have.

I smiled at her reassuringly. "I'm fine, Dorcas should be along in a minute. She was just popping into the library."

"Where's Marlene?"

"Magic Creatures I think…"

Lily laughed. "Only class she'll get an E in you reckon?" she joked. We all liked to tease Marlene about her laziness. She loved animals though so she was bound to do well in that class. Lily then hugged me tightly and hurried away bumping head first into Potter. She sighed and tried to walk around him but he kept stepping in her way, his arms out, wanting a hug too.

"Potter!" Lily yelled, a laugh escaping as she bumped, again into his shoulder. "Will you stop? I have to go meet someone!!"

"Who? I'm sure they won't mind if you pause to give me a quick hug," he teased, ruffling his hair. My eyes met Sirius' across the room and he held an amused smile on his lips. I couldn't return it however but I became confused to see his cool expression waver momentarily.

"Potter, I'm going to see your worst enemy so I'm pretty positive he'll be fine if I forget the hug" Lily said, her hands on her hips as she looked up at him. His expression changed completely. He went a little stiff.

"Still friends with Snivelly I see?"

Lily rolled her eyes, her temper rising. "Yes, I'm still friends with Severus! I shouldn't even be conversing with you lot. Considering what you did to him last year…."

James looked angry. Lily had never told me the whole story, all I knew is Sirius had played a particularly dangerous prank on Snape and James ended up saving him.

"I saved him last year!"

"Yeah after you realized that Sirius had gone too far, you conceited bighead!" Lily shot back.

Sirius raised his voice, interrupting. "Evans. We have all been through this a million times. What happened was MY fault and mine alone. You shouldn't hold that against James especially when he had no part in it other than saving me and Snape's arses."

Lily stared at him for a while, before her eyes rested on Lupin. He seemed to be pleading with her. Finally, she nodded curtly.

"Right. I apologize James. Now can I please go?"

There was the hint of the smile he always got when she said his first name. Then he shrugged and stepped aside, going to sit down with Sirius and Remus. Sirius for some reason had his eyes on me. I tried to ignore him by reading my book but soon heard his voice say,

"Hey McDonald? Isn't it difficult reading that upside down?" he said with a smirk.

People turned and laughed. I blushed and turned the book the right way. At least he was back to teasing me. I was relieved when Dorcas came in, saving me from complete loneliness and we played a game of chess.

* * *

I stood outside the Arithmancy classroom, eager to go in. It was one of my favorites. It was straight-forward. There was always only one answer. It was completely uncomplicated. We all filed in. The class was mainly made up of Ravenclaws. There were two Slytherins who sat together in the back. There were no Hufflepuffs this year and so I was the only one in the room with no one to sit next to. This was the one class where I didn't care that I was invisible though. No one in this class really made an effort to stand out in anything but their studies. That was nice. Professor Vector, the genius witch who tought this class was young but had already developed some of the most used properties in the Magic world. I was listening intently as she began the class when someone strolled in late. He had gleaming black hair and a lopsided grin and everyone knew his name.

"Sirius Black? What are you doing in my class?" I was surprised to see Professor Vector go a faint shade of pink as he smiled at her.

"Oh didn't Professor Dumbledore tell you Miss? I dropped Care of Magical Creatures and switched here."

My heart sank. Perfect. Another class for him to mock and ridicule me in.

"Oh, wonderful. You were such a joy to teach last year."

He had flirted with her all of last year.

"Well, find a seat, we're just beginning."

Sirius nodded and strolled in. He smiled at Emmeline Vance who looked at him rather tiredly. They dated for almost four months last year. His eyes scanned the room looking for a seat and finally they rested on me and the only seat available. He smirked and dropped his stuff next to the desk, collapsing elegantly into the seat. He smirked at me and I glared. He looked confused again but said nothing and we both listened until Professor Vector had sent out a bunch of problems for us to solve.

Immediately, he pushed a piece of paper to me.

**(BOLD – Sirius)** (REGULAR – Mary)

**Why the sour face McNamey?**

The name is not McNamey. You know that and leave me alone, I'm trying to work. _(I find writing my true feelings down is much easier than trying to say them to his face)_

**Its all easy anyway Mary. And can't you take a joke?**

Was it a joke when you were a wanker all morning? _(I can't believe I said that!)_

**Ha. I didn't think you used such language.**

Can I please work? Why aren't you off making a scene?

**Cos its so much more fun to talk to you.**

Don't lie.

**Really, didn't you enjoy our conversation last night?**

Yes, but you clearly didn't want to continue any form of communication today.

**Oh don't be a baby. I just wanted my breakfast.**

Fine.

**Fine, now can you please just be nice to me again? **

Alright. _(At least it's impossible to swoon on paper)_

**Sending another letter tonight?**

Well my sister replied, so I probably will.

**See you tonight then? Same time.**

Ok.

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**_A/N: How was it? The notes were a little weird writing but I couldn't figure out a different way to get around it. Please review! :)_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: I'm so happy you are all enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it. Thank you all so much for your kindness. Also, a lot of you addressed the fact that Mary didn't stand up to him. I promise at some point she will, but for now, she's still very much intimidated by this popularity and looks. Some boys can be jerks, even when they don't really mean it you know?**_

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A Steady Obsession

**SIRIUS POV**

I don't know how a little red dot can fascinate me so much. I was thrilled when we'd finally managed to create the Marauders Map. We still had a few kinks to work out and we knew there must be more passages to discover but when Moony had managed to put the spell on it so every person at Hogwarts had a dot, it made my life a little better. This is a little creepy, but I quite enjoyed watching Mary's dot when we were hanging out in the common room at night. I didn't want anyone to know how fascinated I was by her. Prongs suspects, I know he does. He won't ask until I'm ready to tell though. I feel like such a prick ignoring her during class but everyone would ask too many questions. I wanted to keep this particular connection all to myself. At least until I figure out what it means. I hadn't been able to meet her in the Owlery that night. It wasn't as if I didn't get ready to go. I was going to, but when I checked the map I saw that she wasn't there. She was asleep in the common room and it irritated me. I was itching to talk to her again. I went back to my usual random teasing. She went back to watching me when she thought I wasn't looking. It was almost as if that night hadn't existed. Now I was sitting in the common room waiting for her to exit the portrait hole. She left at the same time every night, but it was different each time. Last night she was in the Astronomy tower. The night before, by the lake. I wondered when she would return to Owlery.

Prongs was in the kitchens getting us some snacks for later. He was looking for chocolate for Moony. The poor guy was exhausted. Full Moon tomorrow. I know as much as we look forward to it, he's dreading it. We try our best to make him feel happy though. Dumbledore even delayed he and Evans' patrolling schedule, so they wouldn't be on duty until Remus was back and recovered. Petey was building a card house. He's so lame sometimes. I snickered to myself out loud and Moony looked up tiredly from his Charms homework. A small smile was on his face and I shrugged. I glanced over at Mary, running my finger unconsciously over her dot as I did. Her hair was back today. It actually looked kind of nice. She had clearly been in a hurry this morning because the usual tiny bit of makeup she wore wasn't on and her usually straight chestnut hair was very wavy and messy as she teased it into a bun. I found that I sort've liked it. I could actually see her face instead of her fringe hanging in her eyes. She was leaning against Evan's knees and writing something. I suddenly hoped she was working on a letter to her sister. It was exactly this day last week, that she sent her last letter. She glanced up and I immediately moved my glance back to the map to look busy. I tuned into their conversation. Evans was telling them about the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain.

"Well, he seems very nice but he's a bit Quidditch obsessed, it's all he really talks about…" she was saying.

"So another Potter then?" Mary asked slyly.

Evans smacked her. "Oh stop it. Potter shows off about Quidditch, he doesn't just talk about it!"

"Well, he tries to talk to you about other things, but you don't listen!" Dorcas said in her soft voice. I smirked. That girl was great: she was so very…fair.

"Besides, Potter is so much better looking than Montgomery Lil!" Marlene said.

"Why are we talking about Potter?! I was talking about Montgomery, I don't want to hear about how much you all fancy Potter ok!?" Evans said indignantly.

The girls laughed and Evans crossed her arms in a huff.

As if on queue Prongs came hurtling into the common room, a bulging bag slung on his shoulder. As usual he glanced over at Evans who was giving him a death glare as her friends giggled uncontrollably. He ruffled his hair and smiled at her. Then the fool blew her a kiss. She made a face and smiled sarcastically as she ran a finger across her throat. Prongs looked a little frightened as he came over.

"Oi, Padfoot, pass us the map, I found a new passageway."

I jerked my head up from the Mary McDonald dot and folded it hastily before handing it to him.

"Where's the new passage mate?" Remus asked.

"You know the witch with the hump? I finally got her to open" he started to explain the tunnel to us and we delighted in our new discovery. I watched as Prongs drew in the new passageway after handing a grateful Moony a bar of chocolate. I snagged a piece from him and watched Prongs impatiently. Mary had waved to her friends and had begun heading to the portrait hole. I wanted to know if she was going to the Owlery. It was driving me insane watching Prongs draw in the tunnel so meticulously.

"Mary! Don't take the third staircase, the Prefects will be there" Lily said quietly. I heard her though. That Evans, she wasn't such a perfect Prefect after all. As I was smiling to myself I saw that Mary had already disappeared. I racked my brains for an excuse.

"Prongs, are you done?"

James looked up, puzzled and then glanced at the map before smirking. He'd obviously noticed Mary's dot leaving the common room. I sent him a warning look and he shrugged before handing me the map.

"Where are you going Padfoot?" Peter asked.

That nosy git.

"I fancy a walk, see you later lads?" I asked standing. They nodded and returned to their business, except Prongs who was smirking at me so hard I wanted to beat his face in. I looked at him and nudged my head toward Evans. I needed a distraction to escape unnoticed. Prongs looked delighted to oblige.

"Evans!!" he called. Many people looked up. This was their favorite show.

"Potter what is so important that you feel that you must interrupt me from more important things?" she asked tiredly, sarcastically holding up her Witch Weekly magazine.

I didn't hear Prongs reply as I'd already exited the portrait hole but I did hear the raucous laughter from our fellow Gryffindors and I smirked to myself, maybe James had finally made Evans laugh too?

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**MARY POV**

I looked at the letter in my hands. I had already replied to it, but I wanted to make sure I hadn't missed anything.

_"My Dearest Mary,_

_It sounds like you're having quite a time with Sirius Black. Of course I remember him, his best friend, that Potter kid tried asking me out once. Too bad everyone knows he's in love with Lily Evans! I can see how you're confused. Sirius seems to be leading you in all sorts of directions. But boys always do. I'd just suggest using your best judgment but not letting yourself get used. I don't know…Shane dumped me so I'm not feeling terribly confident about my own relationship skills. Oh don't feel bad for me, I needed to get away from the prick. Hope everything's going alright in school: work hard! Send mum and dad an Owl why don't you? They keep bugging me!!_

_Love you little one,_

_Sarah"_

Great big help my genius sister turned out to be. I of course updated her on our most recent conversations and the fact that Sirius was now in my Arithmancy class. As I began to tie the letter to an owl, I silently hoped that he'd think to find me. I never ended up going to the Owlery the day he'd asked me in class. I was scared of getting to talk to him again. I didn't want to keep having the feeling of excitement after a wonderful conversation and then being let down by his cool, stand-offish attitude the next day. But now I wanted nothing more than for him to join me on this bench and watch the owls with me. And talk. I wanted to hear the low, calm, interested voice he'd used last week. I prefer it so much to his bored-sounding voice he uses during class. But, I suppose both kinds can make the hairs on the back of my neck stand-up…Damn that Sirius Black!

Suddenly, there he was. Sitting beside me, saying nothing, but settling into his usual lounging position.

"How'd you know?" I asked.

"Same time as last week…" he answered with a shrug.

"Sorry…I.."

"I wished you'd come the other night, I waited for ages". His voice sounded bored, and that made me sad.

"I wasn't done with my letter, I suppose…" I whispered, not knowing what else to say.

He turned his head to look at me and my face grew warm feeling his eyes on mine.

"What's your favourite animal?" he asked out of the blue and I was relieved.

"Dogs I suppose"

He grinned devilishly. "Mine too, Dogs and Hippogriffs…how come?"

"Well, I suppose it's because, dogs will love you so much but you still won't quite know just how much…" Wow. That sounded stupid. I could only imagine how much he was going to rip me up for that.

"Funny…I never thought about it like that, but you're right" he said softly, as if in deep thought. I loved how he thought every silly question he asked would help him understand who I was and how he always seemed like he knew the real answer even if there was never a right answer to the questions he asked.. And I loved that I was strangely comfortable enough to ask him questions like this:

"Why did you break up with Emmeline Vance?"

He looked rather shocked. I felt a little frightened, worried he might cuss at me, shout or just leave the room.

"I got bored of her. I always get bored of pretty girls which don't stand out".

I was relieved but confused at the answer. "I don't get it. Everyone knows Emmeline though, she's like the smart, beautiful, calm Ravenclaw…"

"Just because everyone knows you doesn't mean you stand out. At least not to me."

"So why did you go out with her in the first place?"

He sighed. "I don't date a lot. Mainly because the girls in this school don't really know what I'm actually like. At least not the way my friends know me. And the problem is, once they're with me…they don't try any harder to get to know me. But…I am a guy after all and every now and then, I feel like I want a girlfriend. I guess that makes me a fickle person eh?"

I shook my head violently and my fringe fell loose from my tied back hair. "No. I just can't believe people date and don't even try to get to know each other."

"Hey, I can tell you pretty much everything there is to know about Miss Vance, not to mention some stuff she wouldn't want anyone to know…" he said, an amused grin on his face.

I shook my head and laughed. "Not you…" was all I could say because suddenly he was sitting a little closer to me and staring into my eyes. I forced myself to look back, biting my lip as I did.

He glanced down at my mouth as I did this and then said without blinking, "So have you ever been out with anyone?" He looked momentarily apologetic for not already knowing.

"No" I said, my cheeks glowing. It was so embarrassing! But no one had ever been interested. And I hadn't tried to make anyone interested…because, well I was only interested in him.

"I can't imagine how," he whispered so softly, as if he didn't want me to hear. I pretended not to.

He hesitantly reached up and brushed my wretched fringe off my eyes. I trembled, visibly. Why was he doing this to me?

"I didn't plan it…" he said, his hand still on my cheek.

I guess I'd asked him out loud. Suddenly I could see clearly into his normally stormy grey eyes and all I longed for was for him to lean in further.

I could see he was hesitant. I didn't even know how to gauge the situation. How had things escalated so quickly from a friendly conversation to this? He couldn't like me. Could he?

"I have to go…" he said jerking his hand back and going towards the exit. I sighed and tried to slow my heart rate down, breathing a little heavier than usual. I stared at the owls, my eyes glassy when suddenly I heard,

"Same time next week?"

When I spun around he was gone, but those four words had made me feel so much better.

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_**Ha...review? please?**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: How are you guys? Thank you so much for your love, I couldn't enjoy writing like this without you! Hope this chapter is to your liking, I liked it :D  
**_

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Sleeping Draughts

**SIRIUS POV**

Last night was rough. Moony had scratched himself silly by the time the rest of us had managed to sneak out and see him. Then he'd turned on me and Prongs. Prongs had a gash across his cheek and I had a horrible bruise on my side. I cursed Peter for being small enough to avoid the blows. Since James and I had no frees today, we had decided to visit Moony this morning. He was out cold but that was ok, we just like to make sure he's alright. We hurried down to breakfast and had just managed to sit down to the last bit of oatmeal when Evans came over and sat beside James. He looked at her tiredly, but his eyes brightened. She looked worried as ever. Evans is the only other person outside of us and Snape who knows about Remus' 'furry little problem'. She's been decent enough to keep it to herself, but she's always pestering us the next day. As if we weren't worried enough.

"How's Remus?" she asked in a low voice. I was surprised to see her question was directed at Prongs instead of me or Peter like usual. Had something changed between them I didn't know about?

James shrugged. "Unconscious for now. But he always is the next morning."

She looked up at his gash and clicked her tongue. I noticed that her hand twitched almost as if she was going to reach for it but it stayed firmly in her lap. I smirked at Peter who laughed. It's doubtful he knew what I meant but it's nice of him to laugh all the same.

Evans glanced at Peter before turning back to James and murmuring. "I don't know how this always happens to you lot….but I won't ask any questions and you won't have to tell any lies".

I laughed out loud at this and she seemed to wake up from her trance, briskly clear her throat and tapped James' face with her wand. His gash immediately healed up and she nodded before going back to her friends. I snorted into my porridge at the sight of James watching Evans dreamily and touching the cheek, which touched her wand, but suddenly, Mary's eyes were on me and I felt queasy.

We hadn't spoken since our last meeting in the Owlery. In fact I had completely avoided her glances, sad looks and everything! I think I may have asked her to hand me a frog in Herbology yesterday but that's not very deep is it? It made me feel bad seeing her try and catch my eye or open her mouth to speak, but I can't do it. It's getting too dangerous talking to her. I'm a little worried I might like her. But I can't like her, we're two completely different people. We would never work. Think of the rumours!! I'm doing this for her own good, if I were to like her, people would just think she'd slipped me a love potion. Oh Blimey, I'm a first class git. Oh no, she's leaving….

James poked me in the head.

"OW, what the hell Prongs!"

"Take your stupid eyes off McDonald" he mimicked me.

"Shut up" I said in a low, dark voice. He just laughed and I shoved him so hard he fell on the floor. He was still laughing though. People turned to watch and I noticed Mary stopping with Lily, Dorcas and Marlene. I don't know why I did it, but I hexed James. It was all a bit of fun, but I knew I was showing off.

He stood up, tentacles wiggling on his face and smirked at me, muttering two spells so I was now hanging upside down and laughing hysterically. Dammit Prongs for being better than me at Magic. I heard Evans exhale in her angry little way. Probably mad at James for showing off, ha! serves him right. As I danged mid-air, I glanced at Mary. She had the distinct look of someone who was very disappointed, and I felt my stomach lurch. Bollocks.

James and I headed to Potions, leaving Peter to go visit Moony and I was feeling very uneasy. I didn't want to face Mary at all. I didn't want to pretend I didn't know her. For some reason I can't stop myself. I guess it comes with the stupid title of popularity: you don't want to risk it by doing the wrong thing. But I like being liked, I never had a lot of it growing up and now losing it is something that scares me as much as my father used to.

"Just ignore him…" I heard Evans say to Mary from in front of me. Becoming an Animagus has given me some wonderful heightened senses. For example if there's going to be bacon in any of our meals, I can smell it as soon as we leave the portrait hole. And if there's a conversation, which is supposed to go unnoticed, I still hear it. I wonder if Evans meant me…I hope she meant Slughorn. That git is always gushing over them. He has a crush in Evans and her fantastic Potions skills and I'm pretty sure Mary's family has a lot of connections at the Ministry. He loved me when I first walked in to his class too, but since then he's wised up and frequently thanks the day the Sorting Hat put me in Gryffindor. As a matter of fact…so do I.

"Alright class, now that we've gotten all the NEWT syllabus covered, we will begin brewing our first complex potion. Pick a partner and turn to page 14 to begin," Slughorn announced in his pompous way.

Prongs and I grinned when we saw the Potion. It was a sleeping draught. We already knew how to make a pretty complex one because we'd once played a trick on the Slytherins which consisted of them all dropping dead asleep at the breakfast table and sleeping right through the day. We worked fairly easily on our Potion for once. James seemed to be keeping an eye on Evans who was partnered with Snivellus. I glanced over to Mary and saw she was working diligently with Dorcas and sighed a breath of relief. Wow was I glad she wasn't friends with Snape!! The class went fairly smoothly and of course Evans and Snape were done first. They always are, it's almost as if they come up with little shortcuts and still get perfect results.

"Pale, shimmering blue, just as it should be! You two make a perfect pair!" Slughorn gushed. I laughed inwardly but heard a loud clunk. I snapped my head around to see James hurriedly pulling out a bottle from the cauldron.

"Bloody hell mate, what did you do!?"

"I dropped a little too much Nightingbark in, but I think we're ok, it still looks a shimmering blue..."

"It's not supposed to until we stir it four times clockwise you duff!" I whispered urgently back to him.

"Shush, Sluggy's coming over…" he said hurriedly pretending to pull the ladle from the cauldron as if he was done stirring. He glanced at Evans who was eyeing us curiously.

Bloody Hell, what a git. I sniffed it and felt a little drowsy. I suppose that's a good sign though. Slughorn approached us and eyed the cauldron carefully, "Much better work than usual boys" he said patting us both condescendingly on the backs. I felt my bruise ache. Dammit, why did it have to be in a place Evans couldn't heal.

Mary and Dorcas had just missed the mark like many of the other groups. Their potions were a pale purple.

"Alright before we dismiss, I want volunteers to try the Potions that did work….McDonald my dear how about you? And…Avery!"

Since the Slytherin git Avery was closer to Lily's, he went over and Snivellus handed him a goblet filled with their Potion. He sat down ready to drink it while Mary slowly made her way over to us. She didn't look at me as James gave her a goblet and she sat down too, facing Avery.

"Sweet dreams love!" I said making everyone giggle a little. She merely looked at me before she and Avery both took tentative sips. Avery looked sleepy, yawned and settled his head on the table before falling into a deep sleep. Mary on the other hand simply fell off her stool and I had to catch her before she hit the floor. I held her little body close to me momentarily before hurriedly placing her head on the desk and looking around making an awkward face. It made every twitter with laughter again and I felt like a first class arse. I could feel Evans' glare on me.

Slughorn clapped his hands together happily before slipping a pellet between Avery's teeth and awakening him. He looked refreshed and laughed haughtily when he awoke, shaking Snape's hand. The class clapped before Slughorn came over to do the same to Mary.

We all began packing away our things when suddenly we heard, "Uh, Miss McDonald? This isn't funny dear. Wake up! Wake up!!"

I spun around and saw the sleeping Mary showing no signs of waking up.

"What did you do wrong?!" Slughorn said urgently looking from me and James and back. Evans and Meadowes rushed over and the class quietened down, wondering what had gone wrong.

"Is she breathing?!" Lily asked frantically, glaring at us.

Me and James looked at each other in shock before saying to Slughorn at the same time, "We spilled too much Nightingbark in, and didn't stir it at the end…."

Slughorn's eyes grew wide and he tried shoving another pellet into Mary's mouth.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked in a strained voice. Evans seemed to look very interested in my tone but I didn't care. Had we killed her?!

"Well, Mr. Black, I do believe you've put her into a sleeping coma…." Slughorn said grimly. "Hospital Wing. Miss Pomfrey will know what to do." He then addressed the class to shout the homework but I was already scooping Mary into my arms.

"Wait, Black, we can take her!" Lily said as Dorcas nodded.

"Oh I suppose you can carry her then?" I asked scornfully before heaving my bag on to my shoulder and heading to the door. "Bring her bag when you have a chance. Prongs, explain to Minnie won't you?"

Prongs nodded, looking very white. Lily had turned to him. "How could you do this?!" she was saying.

"I didn't mean to!" he said sinking to his chair and putting his head in his hands. I was surprised to hear Evans not still screaming so I turned around quickly just in time to see her patting his back awkwardly but comfortingly. I would have laughed, if I wasn't holding a cold, sleeping Mary in my arms. And if I wasn't worried as all hell.

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_**A/N: it's on th short side, sorry!! next chapter will be up by saturday night if I get 10 reviews :) I'm evil, I know...but I won't keep you waiting too long.**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: I LOVE YOU GUYS!! that was the most awesome response to a chapter I've ever gotten. I hope this one has just the same effect :)**_

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The Antidote

**SIRIUS POV**

I sat in Herbology quietly cutting up my roots. I was making sure every slice was perfect, taking the meticulous care I usually ignored. Somehow I always managed to get Miss Sprout to give me someone else's roots. Usually some silly Hufflepuff's. Today I didn't want to talk to anyone. It had been the same all week and through the weekend. It had been a Hogsmeade trip but even the butterbeers we got for free from Rosmerta hadn't brought me out of my foul mood. I was really worried about Mary. Conveniently, I'd received a Howler on Thursday so most people thought I was just upset because of the things my mother had yelled during Dinner in the Great Hall. Prongs knew though. He knew I've never given a toss about what my mother has said since I got to Hogwarts. The news of my name being burned off our family tree didn't come as a surprise to me at all but I let everyone think that the reason I was sullen was down to my family. Remus and Peter had prodded until I gave in and finally told them I was worried James and I had poisoned Mary. I suppose they think I fancy her now.

James had been quite cut up about it too, but Lily had managed to convince him that it was Slughorn's fault for allowing the potions to be tested when he wasn't sure they were perfect. He had dropped off flowers by Mary's beside and everyone was cooing about how nice he was. They weren't surprised that I hadn't gone to see her yet. That's me, "don't care Sirius Black" but the truth is I'm not sure I can handle seeing her like that. She looked dead, or petrified. Her usually sunny complexion was pale and I couldn't even see her sparkling green eyes. Madame Pomfrey had tried everything but James had informed me that she had to write to St. Mungo's for an antidote. I suppose that's why it was taking so long. I was anxious. Tomorrow was our Owlery night. I know I've only met her there twice, but I was starting to see it as the day where I'd get to find out more about this mysterious girl. I think I can confirm it now. I like her. I have to be honest about that. I'm not saying I want to do anything about it…but I just…I do. I like her. Evans had been keeping a close eye on me all week, I felt like she knows, but she too just offered her condolences after she heard the Howler. Girls in this school are so stupid. Well, most girls.

"Padfoot, cheer up. Today's Monday, and that means the post that didn't come yesterday will get here today!" Remus tried to make me smile. I did slightly. I suppose that was good news. But then…she would wake up and find out I'd never been to see her. I had to go today. At least this was our last class of the day.

"She'll be fine Padfoot, people have slept for longer…" James said trying to joke. I laughed despite myself and nodded. Peter gave me a chocolate frog. As I munched on it I thought how glad I was to have friends like these. It made me feel a little better.

"How's Mary?" James asked Evans as we all walked out of the classroom half an hour later.

Lily tiredly pushed the auburn hair from her face. She looked as worried as I did. She answered Prongs but looked at me.

"The same. Miss Pomfrey just got the antidote though." My face must have brightened because she shook her head sadly.

"It takes a whole five hours to work. We'll have her back by tonight. And then, you know by tomorrow…she'll be off sending letters and such".

The guys looked confused at this detail but I nodded slightly, understanding. Remus put an arm around me and ruffled my hair while Peter talked my ear off about some bird who fell off a moving staircase cos she was too busy looking at me. Prongs kept shoving me forward, something that has always irritated and amused me at the same time. I smiled and strolled into the Great Hall, James for once letting me lead as he hung back with Evans who seemed like she wasn't going to kill him for once. We sat and surprisingly Lily, Marlene and Dorcas joined us. The conversation was kept light. We talked about this weekend's Quidditch match and the new couples that had been formed because of Hogsmeade. James teased Lily about being Head Girl next year and then turned on Remus.

"Moony, just because you'll be Head Boy doesn't mean it's ok for you to go after my Lily!"

"Potter, I am not yours and if Remus would like, he has all the liberty in the world to go after me" Lily replied smiling sweetly with cabbage in her teeth. Remus blushed violently and mumbled into his soup. Peter had a mouthful of cabbage. But James had a silly expression on his face, as if he thought the fact that a green thing hanging from her teeth was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen.

"Something in your teeth Evans," I said with a smirk. She shut her mouth with a snap and her cheeks went a faint pink after she'd clearly licked her teeth clean. I laughed, thinking about how pretty blushing made girls look. Even girls who weren't as conventionally beautiful as Evans. I realized at that thought that it was time to see Mary. I wanted to bring her something but I couldn't remember the spell to turn sticks into flowers and sure as hell wasn't going to ask one of my mates. Suddenly I thought, toast. Toast would be perfect. Too bad it wasn't breakfast. But you know the thing I love about Hogwarts: you want something and it will appear. A stack of toast with jam appeared next to my plate already wrapped up. I smiled and casually picked it up as if it were no big deal.

"Well, this has been pleasant…but I'm going to go…do something else" I said, not thinking fast enough. The boys shrugged, knowing for my sake, not to make a big deal of it but the girls seemed to obtain smirks that could rival me and Prongs when we've just played a prank on the Slytherins.

"I'm sure she'll be hungry Sirius, that's nice of you" Evans said to me quietly with the silliest smirk of all. James looked like he wanted to kiss her, but then again he always wants to kiss her. Since I neither wanted to kiss her nor speak to her after that comment, I just nodded and strolled out. Once I had left the hall, I hurried up to the Hospital Wing, casually pulling a bow from a first year's hair and wrapping it around the toast.

"Hello Miss Poppy" I said peeking my head in. She tried to look stern but melted upon my grin.

"What're you here for? Mr.Lupin was released days and days ago." She looked thoughtful. "Oh dear, Mr.Pettigrew isn't here with boils on his hands or something is he?" she asked, looking nervously around and trying not to make a face.

"No Poppy, just here to see the coma patient…" I said sauntering in.

"Oh!" she said her face softening. "Finally! When you brought her here in that state, I thought you'd be back for sure!" She looked stern for a moment before saying, "now I have other patients to attend to, so don't bother me by trying to make her wake up. The antidote won't work for another three hours!"

I nodded and followed her to the back where she swung a curtain open and gestured for me to go inside. I did so, rather apprehensively but felt happier once I was in and sitting on the edge of her bed. Her usual faint glow had returned but her hair was sticking to her damp forehead. Her lips looked so chapped, I had to lick my own. I felt something tug in my chest when I saw her silly fringe plastered to her head. I looked at her, sleeping so peacefully I almost wished for a second that she would never wake up. I moved an inch closer and pushed her fringe gently to the side. My eyes then trailed down to her mouth and the side of my hand touched her cheek softly. I'd never seen her look prettier. She really was beautiful. No, not like Evans or McKinnon or even Meadowes. She wasn't glamorous, not in the least. But her gentle features and the intriguing personality I knew she had, made her the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.

I jumped and shifted back when I heard Poppy bustle in.

"Sirius, I've just had a girl with a broken skull brought in. Please give Mary her hourly dose. You need to just slip this pill in through her lips and make sure her mouth gets plenty of water. Careful not to pour it down her throat. If you feel as though you are inadequate, wait and I will be back shortly."

I nodded taking the glass of water, washcloth and pink pill from Poppy. She then left in a hurry and I was left alone with Mary again. I stared at her and said, "Ok Mary, let's keep waking you up…"

I slipped the pill gently through her chapped lips and when it went down, suddenly she was saying things. Completely incoherent things but things nonetheless. It was almost as if she was still having a dream and couldn't wake up. I dipped the cloth into the water and placed it to her lips and she quieted down. Squeezing gently, a few drops went down and she started to smile contentedly. I lied. She's never looked more beautiful than right _now_. When her lips were soft and pink again, I put the cloth on the table with the glass of water. On her other side, I placed the stack of toast, hastily writing a note:

"**In case all that beauty sleep made you hungry. – SB"**

As I leaned over her to put down the note, her arm went around my neck and suddenly my face was closer to hers than it had ever been before.

"Sirius" she murmured very softly in her sleep. I couldn't help the small smirk that rushed to my face.

"See you soon Mary. Same time, same place" I whispered, carefully unraveling her hand and putting it on the bed beside her. Then, without thinking twice, I gave her a soft kiss. Not on her lips, but just not quite on her cheek.

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_**A/N: Awww :) 10 reviews for an update! I know you want to haha**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**A/N: Love you and your reviews!! You guys are fantastic :) **_

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What You Want

**MARY POV**

When Miss Pomfrey finally let me leave, I was full of a hearty breakfast, feeling really refreshed but a little worried about what my return would be like. Apparently I'd been out for over a week. I knew I needed to do two things though. One, tell Potter it's ok and it wasn't his fault. Also, I should thank him for the daisies. Two, I needed to set things straight with Sirius. I had been mad at him before I'd taken the Potion but somehow the many dreams I had while I was asleep had been about him. I wondered if he'd been to the Owlery last night, I had a feeling he might've been. I had wanted to leave but the crazy Medi-witch thought I needed MORE rest! Can you imagine sleeping for a week and then being told you need MORE REST? She's insane, that one. At least I had that toast to eat. She tries that Pomfrey lady, but she really doesn't know how to cook. As I walked the halls toward Transfiguration, I heard people whispering. A few were even pointing. Oh wow, seriously Sixth Year has brought me the most ridiculous attention. Every week I was known for something else ridiculous. I walked into the classroom and was nearly mauled to the floor by a crazy red head.

"Lily, Lily, really I'm happy to see you too…but I can't breathe" I choked and she laughed happily.

"Oh I know it seems weird, you must feel like you've only just seen us…but it's been a whole week!!"

I smiled happily and hugged her again before hugging Marlene and Dorcas.

"I can't believe she didn't let you come back to the Dormitory last night! We begged and begged," Dorcas said in her soft, melodic voice.

"Believe me, I tried…" I said as we started to walk towards our desks.

"The Marauders have been really worried…especially Black" Marlene said suggestively making Lily laugh.

"I think it took a while before he was actually ready to visit you, he only did last night. Potter went a couple of times last week. But Sirius was sullen and worried and quiet all week…you have no idea!" Lily said with a smirk.

I smiled happily. "Oh stop. You lot are only leading me on."

"Hey, better us than Sirius Black!" Marlene joked. I felt a rush of worry but I tried my best to put it aside. Sirius and I were only friends anyway, he wasn't leading me on…was he?

Meanwhile, the girls were laughing about something else as Marlene and Dorcas went to sit at their places.

"Honestly though, the way he carried you to the Hospital Wing when it first happened. He was white as a ghost and holding you close…excuse the rhyme" Lily was giggling, happier than I'd ever seen her.

"Are you really so happy I'm back or did something happen while I was asleep?" I asked, eyeing her carefully.

"Oh nothing…but, look keep it quiet cos I don't want anyone thinking I like him. But I think I can stand Potter now. It's nice knowing he's a decent human being and not an insufferable git after all."

I must've looked really shocked 'cos she shoved me.

"Well…really, your episode brought us all a little closer. Don't go getting your hopes up. He is not my type…I will NOT like him. But yeah, he's not that bad."

I smirked knowing with time that opinion would definitely change. I chose to say nothing though because suddenly the Marauders were standing in front of me.

"McDonald!! Good to see you" Pettigrew said with a grin, giving me a chocolate frog. Moony eyed it, almost jealously but grinned at me too.

"I'm so glad you're out of the Hospital Wing Mary, I was sick for a while too, so James took notes which you can borrow for some of our classes. I'll try and round the rest of mine up for the other ones you missed."

"Oh I forgot!!" Lily said looking upset.

"It's ok," I said nudging her, "Thanks so much Remus, that's really nice of you to remember me".

He shrugged. "I know how much it sucks having to catch up work…" he smiled, put down a pile of notes before he and Peter went to sit down.

"Mary! You have no idea how sorry I am! I really should've told Slughorn that I'd messed up…I didn't know that would happen" James said looking very apologetic. He was running a hand through his hair and I smiled in response.

"It's not your fault. Thank you so much for the daisies though, they're my favourite."

James grinned and looked at Lily, "At least some people like it when I get them flowers!" he teased, to which she just rolled her eyes.

Finally, there was Sirius. He was munching on an apple and looking at me intently. There was another expression there, but I couldn't tell what it was.

"What did you do last night?" he asked staring into my eyes.

"Miss Pomfrey made me stay 'til this morning" I replied pleasantly, rolling my eyes and trying to make him smile.

He didn't say anything but his expression had softened. He glanced at Lily and then cleared his throat,

"Well. Glad to see you're awake" he said with a lopsided grin but it was stiffer than usual. He then nodded at Lily and went to sit down without another word.

Lily looked like she was dying to say something but didn't want them to hear, so I wrote her a note:

**Lily (bold)** Mary (regular)

What's up giddy-pants?

**He went to the Owlery looking for you last night!**

What?

**Yeah! On our way back from the Hospital Wing, we bumped into him. When we asked where he'd been, he said, "would you report me if I said I was at the Owlery looking for someone?" I suppose he doesn't know I know about your little meetings!**

Lily! He was probably sending a letter. He wouldn't have gone if he knew I was still in the Hospital Wing.

**Well he went to see you the same day you woke up. He thought you were going to be back last night. Miss Pomfrey said he even gave you one of the pills cos she had other people to attend to.**

Lily! There is nothing going on.

**Oh I know, but I bet he likes you!**

He doesn't. Sirius Black doesn't fancy people like me.

**Well he's a poof then cos he never fancies anyone!**

Maybe!

**Maybe!**

….

**It's so good to have you back Mary!**

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**SIRIUS POV**

It felt weird to see her. It felt weird knowing she didn't remember the intimate moment we'd shared while I was giving her that pill. I felt as though she'd been drunk or something and I remembered what happened the next day and she hadn't a clue. It was a weird feeling because this sort of thing happens to me a lot, except usually I'm the one who doesn't remember.

I was almost mad at her for not being at the Owlery last night. I couldn't check the map. James had stupidly left it in the Witch's hump and we couldn't get it until this morning. Then Stupid Evans and her little gang had to ask where I'd been and be all nosy. Lucky she knows about me and Mary's little rendezvous' or she would've given me a detention for being out after hours. Evans usually doesn't give out detentions…but you know, she has a grudge against me and James. Well, maybe she didn't give me one 'cos it looks like she fancies him now. Oh well. It was weird seeing Mary but at the same time really nice. It was almost as if things had never been different. I felt stupid when Remus gave her the notes. I wonder if I should bother giving her the notes I made her for all the other days she missed…Remus will probably give them to her before I get a chance to see her alone. Maybe I ought to mention something to him. But…I suppose Remus and Petey should know I finally have feelings for someone. It hasn't happened since Emmeline…and this feels different from even that. I can't do anything about it though. I really can't. I won't in fact. I just…I just want to like her and leave it that way.

I didn't tell them I like her. I only said she intrigued me, but I'm sure they got the point anyway. They haven't stopped teasing me ever since. Moony's promised not to give her any notes. He said it didn't matter anyway if I was going to see her now, cos he hadn't had a chance to get them all together. Peter asked if we were going to have sex in the Owlery. I told him yes because that's a dumb question, which deserves a lie. After checking to make sure she was in fact in the Owlery, I left the map with Prongs and he and Moony had the task of trying to tell Peter I was joking.

As I drew near to the Entranceway, I heard her speak but there was someone else there. It was that prick Amos Diggory. People say he's good looking but I think he's too much of a Hufflepuff Duffer to be. I hid in a dark corner outside the Owlery and listened.

"So you were asleep for a week?…impressive!" the git said.

"I suppose, it feels like I just got a really good night's sleep though!"

I inwardly chuckled at her humour. She wasn't very funny, but she made me laugh.

"Everyone was really scared, there were rumours going around that you'd died and Sirius Black and James Potter were going to Azkaban for that Potion."

"Well, rumours are rumours".

Oh how wonderful this girl is.

"Sirius Black looked dead worried all week too. It couldn't have been because of you though. I suppose half of the worry was cos his mum disowned him. He got a Howler you know…"

That stupid, pompous git. If I ever catch him alone in a corridor. He's getting the week-long, irreversible, bat bogey hex all over his stupid, so-called chiseled face.

"Yes, I've heard." I heard her walking and I was glad she was leaving him to himself.

"Stay a while won't you? Aren't you friends with Lily Evans?"

I could almost hear her roll her eyes as I rolled my own.

"Yes, but I doubt she'd be interested in you".

"Well what about Meadowes…or McKinnon?"

"Dorcas is too classy...Marlene, might give you a shot but end up ditching you after an hour or so."

Where was all this attitude coming from? I loved it! Perhaps her slumber had awoken her real Gryffindor Bravery.

"Well…I suppose…why don't _you_ come to the next Hogsmeade trip with me?"

Wow this guy was desperate. He's also a prat. How could he ask about all her friends before her? If he's so good looking, how come he can't get a date more easily?

"Oh, sod off!" she said and I felt a rushing urge to hug her and never let go. Apparently this came at an opportune moment because she was walking out of the Owlery looking huffy. Unable to stop myself, I grabbed her wrist and pulled her into the corner, trapping her like the first day of Sixth Year, on the train. She said nothing but looked at me through her large green eyes. I didn't look back, glancing over my shoulder waiting for Diggory to leave. When he did, I turned to her. Her hand was on my chest and unconsciously; a finger was loosely fiddling with a button on my shirt.

Not knowing what else to say I said, "Would you ever kiss a git like Diggory?"

She looked at me blankly. I suppose she was wondering why I wasn't asking the usual straightforward question. I think it's because this time, I wanted an answer I could use.

"No" she said quietly staring into my eyes, trying to read my expression. I'm sure she had trouble because I have no idea how and what I'm feeling right now.

"Would you ever kiss someone like me?" she asked in response.

And there it was. The question, which inevitably made me more uncomfortable than the question I had asked. I stared at her, suddenly all my feelings very clear to me. I knew there was only one thing that was holding me back. As I thought, her arm had unconsciously slipped up and around the back of my neck. When I saw the way she was looking at me, there was nothing I could do anymore. I forgot every inhibition I had and kissed her for all I was worth.

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**_A/N: !! You guys know what I want...so if you want an update, please do that!! haha _**


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Wow, here I was thinking it would take a while for me to get that many reviews before I updated and I get that response!! You guys are really amazing and I can't believe you're sticking with me like thi**_

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Decisions

**SIRIUS POV**

Bollocks. Bollocks, bollocks. All I could think was bollocks. How had I let this happen? How had I let myself do that? When I returned to Gryffindor Tower, I was sure Mary would be fast asleep. I'd left her at the portrait hole over an hour ago. We'd been completely silent the whole way and although Mary seemed to have a persistent smile playing at her lips, I was very uncomfortable. It wasn't as if I hadn't enjoyed the kiss. The problem was I'd enjoyed it very much. It was the repercussions of the kiss I was worried about. Once I left her, I'd snuck out to the Quidditch pitch and looked at the stars. Me and Prongs used to sit under the stands last year, drinking stolen Firewhisky. We don't really do it anymore but occasionally I crave some quiet time and tonight was one of those times. I watched the stars, wondering how I was supposed to deal with this mess I'd gotten myself in. I wasn't going to ask her out. I couldn't, as much as I wanted to. We just didn't fit. I'm too messed up anyway. She would end up hating me. Finishing my small glass of Firewhisky, I went back to the tower and crept into the dormitory trying not to make too much noise. I could hear Moony snoring loudly and Peter mumbling in his sleep, but Prongs was awake.

"Hey mate," I whispered as I got into my four poster.

"Hey…Padfoot, what are you doing?"

He must've seen us on the map. "I don't know," I said very honestly.

"Be careful ok? You don't want to hurt anyone".

He assumes I'll hurt her. Well I suppose he's right. He always is.

"I'm trying not to" was all I said before I turned over and pretended to sleep. Prongs soon drifted off into low snores and I was left to my thoughts. How I hate my thoughts.

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**MARY POV**

I could practically sing for joy. How many girls can say their first kiss was with one, Sirius Black? And how many of those girls had such a romantic first kiss? I could die with happiness. The only problem was I could tell there was something wrong. Sirius could barely get a word out afterwards and something told me, things from here on out wouldn't be any easier than it had been for the past few weeks. I was itching to tell someone. I thought I should at least tell Lily. But maybe I ought to talk to him first. As I debated this over my cereal, Lily was watching me.

"You look positively smitten…what did he ask you yesterday? What color the sky was?" she teased. Marlene and Dorcas were busy having their own conversation, which was good because I wasn't sure if I wanted them to hear my answer.

"It was wonderful…" was all I managed before suddenly the Marauders were sitting around us. James put an arm around Lily and Remus and Peter sat on either side of me.

"What's up!?' Peter asked happily.

Remus gave me a very uncharacteristic smirk but Potter didn't say anything. Lily had shrugged his arm off and he was too busy teasing her. Lily exchanged a look with me and spoke up.

"Where's Black, Potter?"

"He'll be down in a second. He overslept a bit." Potter looked at me as he said that, knowing that Lily was asking on my behalf. I wonder if Sirius had told them. They all seemed particularly smug this morning. Maybe this was just them being friendly though. I suppose after my sleeping draught episode they considered me a friend. A small smile played at my lips at this thought and it only grew larger when Sirius Black collapsed into the seat next to James and began to help himself to bacon. He didn't look at me, but I was glad because my face was bright red suddenly and I couldn't look at him.

"What do we have first?" he asked no one in particular.

"Charms" Lily answered, watching my face with a frown. "Have you caught up Mary?"

"Oh yeah, I got the rest of the notes yesterday" I said glancing at Sirius who was staring rather determinedly at his pancakes. It had been so nice of him to take notes for me. They were pretty thorough too, which was unexpected considering he never looked like he worked all that hard.

Remus and Peter shot Sirius knowing looks, which he ignored. He was shoveling his breakfast down pretty quickly. When he was done, he spoke. "Well, I'm going to go in a little early. I want to talk to Flitwick. At this, he finally looked at me and the significant look made me know he really wanted to talk to me. He then smiled at everyone and strolled out. Everyone began to talk again, mostly about last night's homework when I spoke up too.

"I actually need to talk to Flitwick too….obviously" I said trying to joke. The boys smiled politely at me but Lily looked suspicious.

"I'll come with you" she started to say, but I began walking off pretending I hadn't heard. I did hear Potter say,

"No, stay a bit" and then in a quieter tone, "Leave her for a minute".

Lily seemed to have agreed because she didn't follow me and I met Sirius undisturbed in a corner near the Charms room. He was pacing back and forth, wringing his hands together, looking nervous. I smiled thinking how adorable he looked and tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped and when he saw me caught hold of my wrist taking me to a secluded area further down the corridor.

"Hey" he said with a slight smile.

"Hi" I replied, beaming. My face fell a little when I saw his expression change.

"We have to talk…look, about last night…"

"It was a bit out of the blue," I said with a small laugh.

He nodded and looked at me carefully for a moment. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Look, it was a mistake. I like you, I really do. But you're just my friend and I got caught up in the moment. Will you forgive me?"

I was stunned. How could my day have gone from so wonderful to horrible within a matter of a few sloppily put together sentences?

"So," I began trying to understand, "what you're saying is…you didn't mean anything that happened last night?"

He nodded.

"You didn't mean to kiss me?"

He nodded, slower this time.

"Right" I said curtly. "Fine". I spun angrily on my heel, not wanting him to see me cry.

"MARY, Don't be angry….don't, I'm really sorry! I want us to be friends still!" he was yelling. Suddenly I was angrier than ever and turned around, face on fire.

"Look Black. Don't feed me that crap. I know exactly why you're doing this. I'm not good enough am I? Not good enough for the rest of the school? I thought what mattered was you. Me and you. But I guess you aren't the person you've been telling me you are."

"Mary, please, stop it" he said trying to hush me.

I lowered my voice. "I'll be quiet. I know you don't want your little minions around the school to hear. Just tell me, I'm right, aren't I?"

He walked close to me, looked over my shoulder seeing people and pulled me into a corner. I stiffly tried to push against him but he held me firm.

"You're right. I do have feelings for you. But you just have to see it through my eyes…I didn't know anything about you until this year…nothing. How can I be so into a girl who I basically have known only a few weeks?" he was whispering, staring deep into my eyes, searching for an answer.

I didn't know what to say. "What does time matter?" I asked, breathily.

He studied my face, watching my every thought. I began to feel uncomfortable at how deep he seemed to be looking in to me. "You have to be patient with me…" he finally said after glancing at my lips.

"What does that mean?"

"It means I need us to keep this to ourselves for a while…" he explained, his eyes pleading with me.

I wonder if this is what Sarah meant by 'being used'. As I saw his grey eyes go clear and still, I found that I cared very little even if that was the case. I nodded and he smiled my favourite lopsided smile. He then nodded and backed away from me before looking around the corner ready to leave. Suddenly he stopped and whispered to himself. "Oh sod it" and turned, pulling me in and kissing me briefly but passionately. When he pulled away, I couldn't breathe and then he was gone.

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_**A/N: He's a jerk. I know. Anyway, please review...I already have 3 chapters written ahead of this one, so it really depends on how many people are reading, before I update. Thank you all for your kind words!!**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**A/N: You are the best!! Love you **_

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Disappointment

**SIRIUS POV**

I wasn't paying attention to Flitwick in the least. I needed to talk to someone, but who? I wondered if Mary would tell Evans and swear her to secrecy. It was likely. Maybe I could tell Prongs…he won't be a git. Well, he won't if he knows I don't want him to be. Moony would probably be the more logical choice, he's more understanding and actually knows that Mary is more interesting than she seems to be. But then again, Prongs has started to become almost as understanding as Moony. Sometimes I think Prongs is the best one of us all. When we were younger he was a git, more obnoxious than me, and did anything for a laugh. Moony was a bookworm at the beginning. Wormtail was shy all the time. I was angry all the time. We all brought out good things in each other, but I feel like Prongs is who is today because of his crush on Evans. As much as I hate to admit it, there are things about him that he might not have changed if it hadn't been for her. Sometimes it upsets me because I wish he was up for hexing people with me still, but I know it's better now when we aren't cruel about it. Although, occasionally I wish I could send some really malicious hexes Snivellus' way. I'm sure he feels the same. Anyway, I think I'll tell them all. I trust the Marauders with my life. So my biggest secret: why not?

I was quiet after dinner as we made our way back to the common room. We sat on our usual sofas and the Sixth year girls were sitting on the other side of the common room. I saw Mary glancing at me, but I couldn't make eye contact. I was worried that people might find out. "Lads, I have something to tell you all…"

"Is this more about how you like Mary?" Peter asked boredly.

"Stop it Pete, he says he's just intrigued…" Remus joked with a smile. James fought the urge to smirk out of loyalty to me and just nodded my way, expectantly.

"Well, things have happened. Specifically, we kissed…quite a bit. And well…look, just don't tell anyone ok? I don't want anyone to find out."

"I wouldn't either if I was dating a nobody!" Pete said with a laugh.

I wanted to punch him. Sometimes I think about how HE'd be "a nobody" if he hadn't happened to be in our compartment on the first train to Hogwarts. I settled on saying rather coldly,

"Well at least I'm dating someone" and making him go red with embarrassment.

I smirked to myself and looked at James and Remus. I was surprised to see identical disappointed looks on their faces.

"Sirius, this isn't a good idea. You said you didn't actually like her. Do you? It's not fair to her if you don't!" Remus said earnestly.

"I already told you I liked her Moony," I said evenly, meeting his eyes with a steady look.

"But you don't want us or her to tell anyone!? Why? Are you ashamed of it?"

I was irritated now. He was saying everything, which I was already feeling but he was morally above what I was doing. Yes, I was worried that people would stop liking and admiring me now I was dating someone they didn't expect me to. Is that such a crime? Not wanting to lose the only respect I've ever had from anyone!?

"People won't stop liking you Sirius," James said as if reading my mind.

I laughed shortly because I was embarrassed that he knew. "I don't care what people think! I just don't want anyone to be in my business, especially when I'm so unsure about this already…"

"If you were unsure about it you wouldn't have done it already!" Remus had raised his voice.

"Stop it Moony," I said firmly and angrily.

"You don't have any feelings Sirius. All this time we've tried to tell you it's not true… but it is! How can you do this to someone so innocent?" He shot back just as angrily.

"Why is this your business? My arse, I have no feelings... I told you because you're my friend and I hate keeping things from you! From all of you" I hissed in a low voice at them all, worried and irritated at the looks we were starting to draw from the common room.

He lowered his voice too: a welcome sign of his respect for our friendship. However, it didn't change his opinion. "Fine. Do this. Even though I have never seen you do anything this heartless since you sent Snape in after me".

He'd said it. He'd finally brought up the taboo. We had left that in our past. They knew I hated Snivellus. I hated him for trying to expose Remus. I hated him for trying to ruin my friend's life. I hated him because James hated him for being close to Evans. I hate him because he's everything I was supposed to be.

"I hate Snape. He wanted to tell everyone who you are!" I whispered in a strained, beaten voice.

I felt beaten.

I saw Remus soften. He looked like he regretted mentioning it.

"That's why I'm so confused about this Sirius. You don't hate _her _do you?" he said before getting up and heading out of the portrait hole, probably to the library. I felt my head pool with what felt like a thousand pounds of steel. I saw Peter watching James, waiting to see whom he would side with. Because, obviously, that's who Peter was going to side with too. Little prick has never had a mind of his own.

"James," I said softly. I was so tired. I'm a horrible person and I'm weak. I'm really weak sometimes.

"I can't believe you would treat someone with a good heart, like this Padfoot," he said in a disappointed, disbelieving voice. I could say nothing. My best mate couldn't even support my decision. I really am a horrible, wretched, terrible person.

"I just hope you'll think long and hard about what kind of person this makes you," James finished quietly before also getting up to leave. He paused to pat my shoulder to show that he still cared. I was glad for it. Wormtail threw an apprehensive look at me over his shoulder as he followed on James' heels.

People were looking at me very curiously. They hadn't heard the conversation but they knew that there had been a fight. This was probably top priority on the Hogwarts gossip mill. The Marauders never fight. The only other time had been during the Snape incident but that had been very private. No one had known. I looked around the room, daring someone to speak. People looked uncomfortably away when I suddenly found my eyes on the Sixth Year girls. Dorcas, Marlene and Evans all had seemingly indifferent looks on their faces but I could tell they were wondering what happened. Evans glanced a couple of times at Mary who was doing nothing but looking at me with such concern you'd think she'd just witnessed a troll stepping on my head. I looked at her and suddenly felt calmer. I half-heartedly grinned in their direction before turning to the rest of the common room and laughing. I laughed like a crazed lunatic even though I know they'd seen this before. They'd seen it when I was younger and got Howlers from my parents. They'd seen it when Regulus and I exchanged cold words in the corridors. As always, I urged them to join in and they obliged rather uncomfortably.

"Oh my friends, what a bunch of jokers…" I said standing and shaking my head, still laughing. I was always good at acting. Except this time I didn't believe that people fell for it.

I glanced back at Mary meaningfully before also leaving the common room and heading to the Owlery, hoping that she would know to come after me.

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**MARY POV**

I'd waited a few minutes until things had died down in the common room. I had to wait until Dorcas and Marlene changed the subject to homework but I finally got away, supposedly to go to the library. I know Lily knew different. I hadn't been able to keep it from her. She didn't think I was doing the right thing. She says Sirius is using me. I think on some level I know that too. And as horrible and cliché and over-said as it might sound…he's different when he's with me. I know that it's not fair that he wants to keep it from everyone. But I just don't care. I want to be with him so bad that everything else seems less important.

I walked tentatively into the Owlery seeing Sirius lounging on the bench. He was staring up at the open ceiling watching the sunset begin and the owls starting to awake. I made my way over to him and sat down. He didn't look at me but I never expected him to. He knows I'm here. I looked up at the sky too, watching the yellow fade to pink and purple. It would've been a beautiful, romantic moment in different circumstances. After a few minutes of silence I chose to speak, hoping he was ready.

"Are you alright?"

He stirred, slowly bringing his eyes down to look at me. "I suppose. It's hard when my friends are mad at me."

"I know…do you think they'll forgive you?" I asked uncertainly. I didn't know why they'd fought but I was betting it had something to do with me. They were probably ashamed of him liking me too. I didn't fit into their perfect, popular equation. Lily did. Marlene. Dorcas. They were the girls that were right for Marauders. Not plain little Mary McDonald.

I looked at my hands, which were in my lap. I knew deep down, somewhere inside that the guys didn't think like that. It was Sirius I was worried about. I think he is really ashamed of liking me. He barely acknowledged me during the day. We had to wait for stolen moments in dark corners or nights in the Owlery for us to really have a relationship. The problem was, I lived for moments like that.

He laughed at my question. "Forgive me? No, they probably won't. But we'll be back to talking tomorrow and they'll be preaching every day until I fix things". He laughed to himself, obviously thinking about his friends. He wasn't going to explain. There was no point pushing. There was so much in his head. So much I wanted to know.

"Ask me a question," I said without thinking. He looked at me, an eyebrow raised and laughed before looking at the ceiling again. Acting on impulse I grabbed his face with my hands, making him look at me.

"Ask me a question," I repeated more severely.

His cloudy grey eyes started to clear and I knew it would be ok.

"What's your family like?" he said quietly.

"Nice," I began letting his face go and looking at my shoes. "My father works at the Ministry, he's pretty high up but he'd never been offered Minister of Magic before. My mother stays at home and goes to glamorous parties pretty much every other day. She's beautiful. Sarah, my sister inherited that particular trait and also a mad fascination with doing the wrong thing. She was popular at Hogwarts, but I suppose you know that. She's very close to me but I've always sort of lived in her shadow. Not as clever, not as interesting, not as daring," I looked at him momentarily before I finished sadly, "Not as beautiful."

I was surprised I'd been able to say all of this without a moment's hesitation or a stumble of words. I suppose that's what he's done to me now. It's gone from always awkward and nervous around him to being able to tell him my deepest thoughts.

He was looking at me fiercely now. "That's not true".

I laughed. "Oh come on Sirius…I'm not ugly but I've never been beautiful. It's not my thing-" I said trying to make a joke. I could barely finish my sentence though because he had caught my lips in a hard, blinding kiss. When we parted, his clear grey eyes stared at me with more intensity than they had ever before.

"You've got it all wrong Mary McDonald. You're as clever as I am and more interesting than any girl I have ever met. You must be daring if you managed to make _me_ like this! And…" he held the back of my head tight with one hand, making me stare into his eyes, "all of that put together makes you more beautiful than anyone else could possibly imagine being."

My stomach swooped, my heart beat faster than I was comfortable with and it was all because of him. I whispered very softly, scared of the answer.

"What have I made you like?"

He paused before smiling lopsidedly. "Everything I never thought I was."

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_**A/N: Reviews? Please? ha.**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Important A/N:**_

Alright, so I have a lot to explain before this chapter. I've been getting a few reviews saying that they think Sirius is very out of character. At first, I was really upset about this and was probably a little mean in some of my replies. First, I want to apologize for that. Second, I'd like to explain why I'm making Sirius so concerned about his popularity rather than indifferent (as I'd portrayed him in earlier chapters).

I think Sirius says a lot of things but sometimes ends up contradicting himself in the way he behaves. It's kind of like how JKR said in reference to the way he treats Kreacher, when he also tells Harry to look at how people treat their inferiors and not their equals. So, the point I was trying to make was….Sirius appears indifferent and uncaring to the general population of Hogwarts…that's why everyone thinks he's so hot and cool. But when he actually gets close to someone, his real insecurities and emotions come out. He's keeping his relationship with Mary a secret for more reasons than him being embarrassed. Bare with me, I promise more will come out in later chapters. He's more complex than I'm making him out to be just yet. I hope you will all understand that I didn't want to make the process of he and Mary getting together easy. I could've gotten them together in 10 chapters if I'd just made him tell the whole school after they'd kissed.

Anyway, I really do appreciate your advice and you did draw attention to the fact that I've neglected to show him in his reckless, rebellious personality. I hope you'll keep reading regardless.

Thanks to all those who reviewed, positive or not, they mean a lot to me. Enjoy the chapter.

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Fireflies

**MARY POV**

Can someone tell me how it's possible to have such a perfect relationship when no one knows about it other than you, your boyfriend, your best friend and your boyfriend's best friends?

I know there's something wrong with that sentence but what does it matter? What does it matter when someone like Sirius Black says you've changed his life?

We'd been spending a lot of time at night together. It made me happy to know that he noticed silly little things I said. Like yesterday, we were by the lake after hours and there were fireflies everywhere. I was smiling as they flitted around us and Sirius noticed. Silly things, but those are the things that matter. The things no one else bothered to notice.

"Such a pretty girl" Sirius whispered to me pushing my fringe off my eyes. We were in a broom cupboard between classes. I know, not the most romantic place in the world but somehow he made it perfect.

"Stop!" I replied blushing profusely, thinking he was lying. He just shrugged and smiled at me. I decided to change the subject, "Are you alright? I saw your brother speaking to you this morning and you looked well pissed off."

His eyes went dark and I noticed even in the dim light of the cupboard. "Know anything about my family?" he asked. He didn't say it in the challenging way he usually does when someone makes a remark about his background. He asked it as if he was asking me what my favourite food was. I shook my head in response.

"Know how I'm the only Black to ever be placed in Gryffindor? Even my favourite uncle Alphard and cousin Andromeda were in Slytherin. Uncle Alphard is a bit of a prick but he loves me and was never one to fit a mould. And Andy, I think Andy changed when she got here. She met this Hufflepuff, Ted, who's a Muggleborn and they fell in love, so houses didn't matter to them. Anyway, the rest of my family has treated me like I was the scum of the earth because I never understood their muggle-hating ways, especially after I got to Hogwarts. My parents had always ignored me and Regulus, unless of course they were punishing us. So, naturally we did everything possible for their approval. Until I decided I didn't care about how little they cared for me anyway. Regulus, I suppose understood them better. They coo over him like he's a little angel now that they've taken to loathing me." He laughed slightly before saying, "Trouble is, I can still be pretty cruel. I haven't managed to kick that particular lesson…"

I ignored this and shook my head before asking,

"So why'd you reckon the Hat put you in Gryffindor?"

He laughed. "It was a fan of rebellion?" he joked. I laughed but said nothing, waiting for him to go on. He sighed. "Well…I suppose it was something Prongs said to me on the very first train ride."

"What did he say?" I pressed, knowing in the short time we'd known each other that he needed a lot of encouragement to talk seriously.

"Well…Remus and James had already met each other in Diagon Alley so they were friendly and Peter was sitting alone in a compartment so they joined him. I was bored and a little angry because my mother and father had sent the House Elf to take me to the train. So, I was strolling along the train looking for a compartment when I saw James setting a dungbomb off near the Prefects compartment." He laughed at the memory and I smiled seeing his eyes twinkle.

"So, anyway, I followed him back to the compartment and saw him laughing away with these two other boys and I couldn't help but walk in. It was all a little awkward because I've always been a haughty little prat. They seemed pretty wary of me the second I opened the door."

"So, did you just become friends after that?"

"Well actually no. James knew who I was straight away. I look a lot like my family, so it's not hard to tell I'm a Black. So of course, the first thing he does say is, 'You're a Black aren't you?' "

"Just like that?!" I asked in awe.

"Well Prongs was always a bit of an overconfident, straight-forward prick. I thought I was going to hate him at first but then I realized we basically share part a brain. So, since everyone knows 'ol Freddy Potter because he was like the top Auror six years ago, I was like, "No guesses who you are Potter. Who are these two?"

I laughed and clapped my hands together. "Wow, you really were a couple of gits."

He smirked. "Yeah, but I think that's what drew us to each other."

I nodded and looked at him as a prompt. He nodded and went on.

"Well, after they'd introduced themselves, I just sort of nodded and turned to leave. Just as I was leaving though, some girl went by and bumped in to me, which I thought was rather annoying, so I turned her hair pink. Before I could leave I heard the guys laughing and I stopped. James looked at me and said something like, 'That was bloody perfect. I bet you're not a bit like your family are you?' I shrugged and sat down and we all started to become friends from then on."

I was giggling up a storm. "Such a silly lot," I said making him grin. "So that's what made you want to be in Gryffindor?"

"Well that's what made me not want to be like my family…so…"

I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. He looked embarrassed and ruffled my hair affectionately.

"Yeah, well…"

We looked at each other a moment before starting to kiss. It was wonderful and slow and passionate. Not urgent or longingly like the other times we'd kissed. It felt so natural. Finally we broke apart and I glanced at my watch.

"Bloody hell…we're two minutes late for Transfiguration!" I yelled, standing and hurriedly straightening my clothes. He sat where he was and watched me until I looked at him expectantly.

"Well? Shouldn't we go?"

He shrugged. "You go first…I'm always late."

I nodded and moved to open the door when suddenly his arms were around my waist and he was kissing my neck. Oh it felt so wonderful, I didn't want to leave. He whispered softly in my ear.

"Mary, please don't be angry if I'm a git in class alright?"

I looked into his eyes and saw him pleading with me. I went against my better judgment and nodded, hoping his change of attitude wouldn't be too severe. We kissed again softly before I slipped out and went to Transfiguration.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

I was nearly twenty minutes late by the time I arrived outside the Transfiguration classroom, I knew I'd get detention but I also knew Prongs would probably manage to secure one by the end of class if he knew I had one. While Remus had started talking to me again the next day after our fight, he was still a little cold whenever the subject of Mary was brought up. Peter went back to worshipping me but James, although he made it quite clear he didn't approve, wasn't mad in the least. It's the one thing about our friendship that's different from the other Marauders. We might not approve of each other's actions sometimes, but Prongs and I always put our friendship first.

"Sorry I'm late Miss," I said half-heartedly.

Minnie glared at me and I tried again, "Sorry I'm late Professor McGonagall?" I said making a face of mock confusion and looking at the class. They all laughed but I only saw Mary smiling.

"Detention Black. Go sit down."

I saluted at her and walked to my seat smirking at the people looking at me in admiration. I knew Minnie was probably still glaring but I chose to ignore it and plopped down beside Prongs who discreetly pounded my awaiting fist with a smile.

The class continued, at first without much disturbance.

"So, before we were so rudely interrupted, I was saying that Mammal transfiguration is among the hardest things you will learn at NEWT level. It is the closest thing to Animagi that we may teach, so I suggest some of you slackers pay close attention". Her beady eye fell upon me as I lazily twirled my wand. The Marauders had already exchanged looks of pride when she'd explained the project we already knew how to do, so I felt like there was no need to really pay attention.

"Miss, is it possible to make the animals do things you want them to do?" James asked as if he already knew the answer. She looked at him stiffly and nodded.

"Like what Mr.Potter?"

"Like if you were to change something into little fireflies, for example, and they did whatever you wanted?" I added, joining in on the fun.

"Like suppose I transfigured this book into little fireflies and made them glow all around Miss Evans' head?" James said, smirking.

Evans groaned and smacked her forehead as the class laughed.

"Well Mr Potter, while it's possible to do that, you'll find it is rather advanced magic and I'd really rather you'd wait to annoy Miss Evans in the common room instead."

"I'd really rather he didn't annoy me at all!" Lily spoke up making everyone laugh again and Professor McGonagall smile.

"It isn't all that advanced though is it?" I spoke up with a mischievous grin. "I bet we could do it Miss Minnie".

"You will call me Professor McGonagall, Mr. Black. You aren't looking for another detention are you!?" she warned sternly. I shrugged in response and nudged James. He'd already caught on and soon we had both muttered a spell, which made his book dissolve into little fireflies, which started to zoom around Lily's head. She just muttered to herself and put her head down on the table. It made people chuckle more. She's gotten so used to our antics, she doesn't even bother reacting anymore. Mary however was looking at the fireflies in awe.

"MR. POTTER! MR.BLACK!" Minnie was yelling now. She raised her wand to turn the fireflies back when suddenly they were zooming around her and forming a heart. I noticed Moony raise his wand slightly and they were suddenly glowing pink. His eyes met mine and he smiled, conspiratorially at me for the first time in days. While the whole class laughed hysterically, Minnie just stood looking menacing, but rather boredly at us. She raised her wand and in a split second the fireflies had disappeared and James' book was back on his desk. The class clapped enthusiastically, Peter leading them but she just looked at us, unimpressed.

"A good attempt, but it might've been better if the fireflies didn't still have letters all over them and if they had in fact been mammals since that is what we're discussing" she said, her arms folded. Lily laughed at this and gave James a look.

"Potter, Lupin, you can join Black in detention for your charming display." She turned her eye to Peter who cowered. "Pettigrew, I suggest you never lead the class in to applause for such a display ever again." Peter nodded meekly and she turned to write on the board before pausing momentarily to look over her shoulder and say,

"Ten points to Gryffindor anyway."

Prongs and I smirked at each other while the class started to write notes. I turned my attention to the back of Mary's neck and her pony-tail dipping up and down. I smiled when I remembered her astonished face reacting to the fireflies. Last night when we'd snuck out to the lake, she'd mentioned how beautiful she thought they were. It was really the only reason I'd suggested fireflies. It was my way of showing her that I still thought about her in class even if I didn't speak to her. She needed to know I didn't want to use her. But like I've said…sometimes I'm weak.


	14. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Thank you all for your support and understanding of my story. It is wonderful to know so many of you know what I'm trying to achieve with this story. I can't thank you enough. Try and Enjoy this chapter, it may leave you a bit upset though haha.**_

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Guilt and Embarrasment

**SIRIUS POV**

Bloody Hogsmeade tommorow. Something tells me I will be getting in a lot of trouble by the end of today. Mary would expect me to ask her, wouldn't she? We are 'dating' after all. The problem is I'm not ready for everyone to see me with her just yet. I know how it sounds. I know I sound like a horrible, arrogant, wretched fool for caring more about my reputation than her. But it's not true. Well…I don't want it to be true. I'm just scared of losing everything I've built in the past five years. How am I meant to explain that to her? What do I say if someone asks me? I usually go to Hogsmeade with someone to keep James company because he's usually seeing someone mindless after Evans rejects him. I barely ever see my Hogsmeade date again and I barely even speak to them while we're out. They're all so mindless. I wanted to spend Hogsmeade with Mary. Maybe we could sneak off to the Hog's Head and be alone.

"Prongs? Are you going to Hogsmeade with anyone?" Moony was asking as he buttered his toast.

"I'm asking Evans," he said lightly.

We all laughed.

"Big surprise Prongs! When you get someone else, will you get me a date too?" Wormtail was asking.

James rolled his eyes and looked at me. "Are you going with Mary?"

"Nah, let's all just go Stag and spend it together."

We laughed again at the pun and everyone agreed. I noticed that Remus and James had shared a look when they'd heard my answer but I chose to ignore it. I didn't want another fight.

Just then, the Sixth Year girls entered the Great Hall and sat nearby beginning to eat.

"Well, I can't very well break tradition though can I?" Prongs smirked as he watched Lily pull a strand of her auburn hair off her buttery toast in disgust. He stood up and put his hands to his mouth to shout to her.

"OI EVANS?!"

She jumped slightly and the toast hit her cheek instead of her mouth. People had started to pay attention, as they always did. She glared at him coldly as she wiped the butter off her face. His expression seemed to go dreamy. For some reason, Evans could be picking her nose and Prongs would still think she was doing something cute.

"What is it Potter?" she said icily. I suppose she's never been much of a morning person.

"Hogsmeade tomorrow…" he said with a grin, casting knowing looks at the surrounding people, who chuckled. He's always been a cheerful son of a gun in the morning.

"I'm well aware, thank you," she said curtly before returning to her toast.

"Wait a bit Evans…have any plans?" He said, a little hurriedly.

She looked at him with a somewhat softened expression. I really think he's grown on her. If only he stopped with all this public asking out.

"Not really, just hanging out with friends," she replied, gesturing to the girls. I noticed that Mary was looking at me. I fought the urge to smile at her and ask her the same question Prongs was about to ask Evans.

"Oh, alright, go out with me then?" James was saying as a few people clapped and laughed, completely expecting this.

"Potter, the only way that's happening is if you find the strongest Love Potion that exists and spike my pumpkin juice with it," she said nonchalantly. I laughed with everyone else. Evans really is a funny girl.

"Well, I suggest you get drinking then," James joked giving her goblet a significant look. Merlin! He actually responded with a good joke! Perhaps she makes him less nervous now. She just rolled her eyes and took a deep sip. When she was done she shrugged and said,

"Oh what do you know? The answer is still no!"

James shrugged with a smile as their audience laughed. "Worth a shot," he said with his signature smirk as he sat down.

I patted him on the back and Remus grinned at him. Peter was still laughing. We get as much of a kick out of their silly arguments as the rest of the school does. Prongs was looking very proud of himself and kept ruffling his hair and looking over at Lily. She was ignoring him as usual but talking quietly with her friends. When Dorcas and Marlene looked elsewhere I saw her whisper something to Mary who shrugged and looked at me rather expectantly. Soon the other two girls had gone off to class and everyone seemed to be finishing their breakfast. I just managed to tune into part of their conversation hearing my name repeatedly. Suddenly someone else caught my eye. You see, there's this gorgeous Hufflepuff called Lucy something. I got off with her at a party last year and she's been trying to get me to ask her out ever since. I would've if she hadn't been so terribly dull and stupid. She was walking by Evans and Mary and seemed to raise an eyebrow at their conversation and laughed. She then made a beeline for me.

"Ugh, is it too late to hide?" I said trying to crouch behind Prongs.

Remus' expression seemed to grow a little dark but James and Peter laughed. Lucy happily plopped into the seat facing me, in between Remus and Wormtail.

"Alright lads?" she said in her silly little voice. I looked at Mary in my periphery and she seemed to be glaring. Oh no.

Lucy was speaking in a particularly loud and commanding voice, which had gotten a lot of people's attention. I expect they all think I'm going to start going out with her. She's always finding silly excuses to talk to me.

"So, Sirius…."

I looked at her blankly.

"You'll never guess what I just heard!?" Lucy said raising her voice to a higher pitch. She had everyone's attention now.

"What's that?" I asked boredly.

"Apparently someone thinks you're going to ask them to Hogsmeade…"

I raised my eyebrow and felt angry at everyone's curiosity.

"Apparently…"she began, looking over at Mary with a tinkling laugh. Following suit, everyone's heads turned to a startled looking Mary and a fuming Evans. "Mary McDonald is under the impression you might ask her to Hogsmeade. Lily Evans seems to be encouraging her, which seems rather unkind. Poor McDonald is clueless!" she laughed again and everyone joined in, looking at Mary who was bright red. Evans was glaring at people but they were too busy laughing in disbelief at my Mary. My ears started to grow warm and I was glad that I don't blush noticeably. I watched as Mary stood and walked quickly from the Great Hall. I tried very hard not to shudder under Evans' death glare.

"It's not true is it Sirius?" Lucy was smirking as if she already knew the answer.

I shrugged indifferently. Inside however I felt like I wanted to 'Avada' myself because of what I said next. "I'm not going to go with you, so why would I go with her?"

I suppose it was a way of rejecting Lucy, but it seemed kinder than the way I'd spoken of Mary. The problem is, I'd only said what people had expected of me. They went back to their business and people began to leave to their first lessons. Meanwhile Lucy pouted at me prettily and said, "Oh well, another time?" before getting up to leave the Hall. I couldn't look up from the table as I could practically feel my friends' glares of disappointment on me. They stood up to leave without a word, when suddenly I heard Evans voice.

"You're absolute scum Black," she hissed in a low, furious voice before I heard her stomp off to Lucy. As I watched my friends leave I also saw that Evans had grabbed Lucy by the arm and was pulling her out.

"You and I need to have a little chat, Murphy," she said in a loud, angry voice making sure everyone in the vicinity heard as she practically dragged the Hufflepuff girl out.

I just sat and watched. Evans is right. I really am scum.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I sat quietly in the Charms classroom as I heard Lily yelling at Murphy outside the room. I was thankful for her support but angry at myself for getting so upset and not standing up for myself. Also, I was just as angry at Sirius for not defending me. I quickly wiped a tear from my eye as the first students started to enter the room. A few of them looked sympathetically at me while others looked scornful.

"AND who do you think you are listening to private conversations?! You have no class at all. You're not half the girl Mary is and you had no right to embarrass her like that."

"Mary McDonald is a nobody, no one will even remember this tomorrow Evans. I don't even understand how you hang out with her!" Murphy shot back in her stupid falsetto voice. How I hated her. I hated her for being so beautiful and popular and for being the kind of girl Sirius was supposed to be interested in. Was he interested in her? At least he acknowledged her in public. The only time Sirius really talked to me in front of people was during Arithmancy, which no one thought twice of because he had to sit next to me. Or when he was teasing me. He didn't even do that anymore, because he said he felt bad doing that to me. What if he wants to go out with Murphy? What if our relationship wasn't even a real relationship in his eyes? I rubbed my eyes trying to force my tears back in.

"Mary McDonald is not a nobody! She's my best friend and a wonderful human being. I don't know how you sleep at night being the person you are Murphy!" Lily was saying. It seemed to be the last of the conversation because she was now walking briskly in to the classroom. Eyes were on her, but she was used to it. She just ignored the looks and glared at a Ravenclaw who was gawking. She hurried over to me and put a comforting arm around my shoulders.

"That horrible girl!" she said looking at me concerned, but still rather red in the face from yelling. She then apologetically told me about what Sirius had said to Murphy after I left. I felt as if my heart was suddenly heavy and ready to burst. I said nothing as she kept whispering to me, trying to ask if I was ok. I couldn't reply. I was too busy thinking. Even if I hadn't been I don't think I could say anything without bursting into tears.

Marlene and Dorcas came in next and sat in their usual place behind us. They had obviously heard because they threw me sympathetic looks. I almost felt like they were pitiful. I couldn't be angry. They didn't even know about me and Sirius' secret relationship. The Marauders entered the classroom right before Flitwick who bustled in and climbed his stack of books to begin class. James and Remus looked at me a bit apologetically but I couldn't acknowledge them. Peter kept looking back at Sirius and I saw that he was going to be sitting with him. I wondered and hoped that it was because James and Remus were angry at him. It seemed to be the case because they said nothing to him as he walked into the room. I felt Lily glaring at him angrily and I knew his eyes were on me. I couldn't even look at him. I just looked very determinedly at my notes. He finally seemed to give up when he sat down with Peter at the back of the room but now I could feel his eyes on my back.

The class passed slowly but uneventfully. I was thankful for that because there had been enough commotion this morning. As me and the girls headed to the common room for our free, I made a decision. When we had sat down, I spoke to Marlene.

"Marlene. I need you to make me look amazing for Hogsmeade tomorrow."

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_**A/N: Review? please?**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**A/N: Thanks for the wonderful response to the last chapter, I really appreciate all your praise and constructive advice. For those (there's a lot of you) who are concerned that Mary has been too much of a pushover...well, I'm not going to say/explain anything til the end of the chapter. Also, I'm sorry there are a LOT of POV changes in this chapter...I couldn't get around it for some reason, I hope it's ok...Enjoy!! I love you guys :)**_

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Changing

**MARY POV**

I stared at myself and didn't recognize the face that looked back at me. Marlene had spent hours trying to make me look good. Dorcas had helped by saying I looked amazing every five minutes but Lily looked upset.

"You do look beautiful…" she said quietly as the other girls went to the bathroom to get more make-up. "But why are you doing this? It's not for him is it?"

I looked at her for a long time before nodding. "I need to at least stand a chance!"

Lily nodded sadly and then went to get ready. It upset me that she and Dorcas needed to do very little to look great. Marlene usually put in a lot more effort because she loved make-up, but with me, it was a hard task trying to get me to any of their standards.

When their work was done and all the girls stood around me, I spun and looked in the mirror. I was dressed in Muggle clothing. Black cut off tights, a little red skirt and white tank top. Marlene had straightened my fringe and it was lying on my forehead brushing the top of my heavily made-up eye-lids and the rest was teased into soft curls. I was a little annoyed at my fringe but Marlene had assured me it looked great. I trusted her. She gets more dates than the rest of us put together.

"Thank guys," I said smiling at them all nervously.

"You'll definitely get some second looks when we're at the Three Broomsticks! Oh Mary this is so exciting, we can look for boyfriends together now!!" Marlene said clapping her hands together with delight.

I smiled, not telling her that I only wanted one boy to really notice me. In public, with people watching.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

The lads were well pissed at me. Moony had barely said a sentence to me since yesterday and Prongs kept telling me I'm being an arse. Peter is the only one who seems to be on my side. He kept telling me, when the others weren't around, that I could do so much better than Mary anyway and he understood why I was doing what I was doing. It wasn't exactly the reaction or support I wanted, but I welcomed it anyway. Despite the Marauders being slightly angry at each other, we had decided to still have a lad's day in Hogsmeade. We were just going to go to our favourite places, go find some Halloween tricks at the joke shop and end up at the Three Broomsticks where I knew we were going to have a serious talk about this situation. I wished we wouldn't. I don't like being so proper and solemn, but I suppose I ought to attempt to explain why I was being such an arse.

We were standing in the Entranceway waiting for everyone to arrive before Filch allowed us to walk to the village. We made some random small talk but I could tell Remus and James were thinking hard about what to tell me later. As people arrived, I scanned the crowd for Mary. I couldn't see her anywhere and my breath started to quicken slightly. I hoped she was still coming. I wanted a chance to talk to her, try and explain why I was such a git. Apologize. Soon enough I saw Evans' auburn head appearing among the masses followed closely by Dorcas and Marlene. Behind them was some really pretty, heavily made up girl that I didn't recognize. When, suddenly I did. I gaped at the sight of Mary. She looked beautiful. There was something wrong though. I sighed heavily when I realized what. James, Remus and Peter were gaping beside me.

"Bloody hell…" Remus said with a low whistle.

"Is that really her?" James added.

"McDonald looks amazing!" Peter said, looking at me. I said nothing as we all got a little uncomfortable. My hand clenched into a tight fist when I heard Diggory speaking.

"Blimey McDonald. You clean up real good! Sure you don't want to reconsider my invitation to Hogsmeade?"

I was really angry.

* * *

**MARY POV**

The response to my makeover had gone better than I'd imagined. Four boys had already commented on how great I looked, not to mention Murphy's date for the day gawking me. Well, I didn't see him but Marlene said he was. A lot of girls were also complimenting me saying it was so nice I'd finally made an effort with my appearance. I felt more part of my group of friends than I'd ever felt before, but I felt uncomfortable in my skin. It didn't feel like me. I saw Sirius, wearing a black t-shirt and blue Muggle jeans and my heart had leapt. The problem was he had barely given me a look. James and Remus had even commented on my look when James had come over to bug Lily. Lily barely even glared at James for commenting suggestively on her dress because she was too busy glaring at Sirius in my defense. Oh how I love her. She'd been getting into a fair few fights with Snape lately so she hadn't been in the common room much but she was always there when I needed her.

We walked around the shops a bit, me enjoying the new attention I had gathered because of my transformation. It felt good to be noticed for once, even if it didn't feel like the real me. When we left a clothing store and started to walk to the Three Broomsticks, I noticed that a lot of our year seemed to be heading there too. I saw the Marauders, arms filled with bags from Honeydukes and Zonkos and hoped that Sirius would finally pay me some attention.

"So, McDonald is it? How is it that I've never noticed how pretty you are?" A Ravenclaw on the Quidditch team said to me. His name is Richard Davies and from what I've heard he dated a Seventh Year when we were in Third. He'd never spoken to me before. He's really handsome in a very styled kind of way.

I raised an eyebrow at him before smiling sweetly, "I suppose I got lucky?"

People laughed. And he smiled.

"Well, how about you and I have a butterbeer together?"

I batted my eyelashes a little, thinking of how Marlene flirted. "Well I'm with my friends now, but maybe if you asked me another time?" My friends grinned at me as I looked at them. I think they were happy I was finally showing people a personality. Lily was the only one who looked a little put out. I bet she sees right through my act. She would. She knows me better than anyone else. Except maybe…no I don't want to mention him.

Davies seemed to grin hugely. "You can bet on that...Maybe I'll get lucky next time?"

I blushed brightly at his suggestive wink as he waved and walked off with his friends. I glanced over at Sirius. He seemed to be watching Davies with an angry expression. I saw that his friends were watching his expression closely, just like Lily was doing to me. Sirius then glanced at me for half a second and shook his head in a confused way. He's angry. Jealous! Good. He deserves it.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Now I wanted to ram Diggory AND Davies' faces in. I hope Prongs flattens Ravenclaw in the next Quidditch match. At least there were no worries about Gryffindor beating Hufflepuff. Diggory is a horrible Seeker and our Seeker is great. Not to mention Prongs is the best chaser Hogwarts has ever had!

I couldn't help but be angry. Why was Mary doing this? What was she trying to prove?

I sat down with a disgruntled expression as I watched Mary and her friends out of the corner of my eye. They sat on the other side of the Three Broomsticks and I was happy that she wouldn't hear our conversation.

"Padfoot…what is going on?" Remus asked. For the first time he seemed genuinely concerned about how I was feeling and not only about Mary.

"I don't know" I replied honestly, covering my face tiredly in my hands.

"You really like her don't you?" James said thoughtfully.

"No he doesn't!" Peter cut in and I looked at him.

"Yes I do…"

"So, why are you hiding it from everyone?" Remus asked gently but firmly.

"I'm scared," I finally admitted, not looking at them. I knew they were exchanging looks.

"What of?" Peter asked.

"People thinking she's wrong for me? It sounds horrible lads…and I've been feeling like a wretched git for weeks, but the truth is, I'm afraid people won't look at me the same way anymore if I don't do what they expect". I was really embarrassed admitting this, but I knew I could only say it to these three people. I looked slowly at James, wanting to hear his reply first. He understands me the best.

"Well that's ridiculous Padfoot! When have we ever done what people expect!?" James said with a laugh, making me smile. I could see he was thinking hard though. Maybe he's figured something out that I haven't been able to yet. Sometimes I think he knows me better than I do.

Remus smiled too. "Padfoot, popularity is complicated. I know you don't want to lose it…but"

"No…I just don't want people to stop liking me!" I corrected him.

He brushed it off. "It's the same thing! People like you because you're popular. But you have to remember, they also follow your examples. If you ignore real feelings….feelings like you have for Mary…you'll hurt yourself more than anyone else."

"I don't want to hurt her anymore" I said angrily, more to myself than anyone else.

"So, don't," James said simply.

"She's obviously trying really hard for you Sirius!" Peter pointed out and I realized he was probably right. She'd done this makeover for me. So that I might accept her and show people I like her. So that it was ok for me to like her.

"I'm a git. But thanks guys. Just do me a solid and promise not to make fun of me about this 'emotional' conversation?" I said raising my eyebrow at them. They grinned and Remus said,

"Oh we wont…."

"…At least not for a week!" James finished as the three of them burst into hysterical laughter.

"Thanks…what did I do to deserve mates like you…" I said sarcastically as they continued to laugh. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Mary heading to the rest room. Looking around quickly, I saw that she was the only one and I looked at my friends.

"Be right back lads…" I said and they nodded before starting to talk about something else.

I caught her right as she came out of the bathroom and pulled her roughly back inside. She looked at me through her heavily made-up eyes and silly fringe. The green of her eyes seemed glassy before she said,

"What?"

"Why are you doing this to yourself Mary?" I asked, gently trying to push her fringe to the side, like I knew she and I both preferred it.

"What? This isn't good enough for you either?" she snapped looking angry and looking away.

"Mary…why would you think you weren't good enough?" I asked, surprised.

Her mouth dropped open before she glared at me coldly. "Oh I don't know. Do you reckon it was the ignoring me all day, everyday in front of everyone? Maybe the fact that they only time we talk, really talk…is when we're alone and no one is watching?" She stopped her sarcasm for a minute and looked so upset, I felt like I'd do anything to make it better. "Or…maybe it's the fact that you would rather people believe you were interested in someone like Murphy who I know you dislike…than have them know that you've been kissing me for almost two weeks?"

I really am an ass.

"So maybe Sirius, I thought if I got all dressed up and made up, you might finally think I was worthy of your public attention!"

I shook her head trying to pull her to me. She struggled and finally I let go of everything except one arm, which I held tightly so she couldn't leave. She glared at me expectantly.

"You don't need it Mary," I whispered looking at her as intensely as I could. I knew I was being rough with her, but I needed her to understand.

Her expression seemed to soften as she heard this and she stopped trying to break loose.

I continued, "You don't need it because I wasn't lying when I told you everything about you is what makes me like you. I like you just the way you are and I couldn't bear the thought of you feeling like you needed to change for me." My voice almost broke.

"So…?" she prompted me breathily.

"I don't need all of this. I don't need you to pretend to be someone else. I like you the way you are. I want to be with the Mary McDonald I know. _I need to be with her_," I said in a slightly strangled voice. This perfectly honest speech had just tumbled from my mouth. For the first time I had meant every word.

She looked at me for a long time. I hoped that I'd said enough. I just wanted to kiss her. I wanted her to look at me the way she always does. Even if I'm not quite ready yet…I want so badly to tell everyone I'm with her. She looked at me without a word and I let her arm go as she finally said,

"Prove it."

She then spun on her heel and left the bathroom, leaving my chest a little tight and my breathing a little ragged.

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**_A/N: Hurray! Mary finally has grown a backbone! I hope that's what you all meant when you wanted her to stand up to Sirius. I knew she couldn't succomb to his charms forever, but I needed you to all get good and frustrated before I did what you asked haha. Anyway, please review and let me know what you thought! :)_**


	16. Chapter 16

_**A/N: Sorry I took longer than usual, I've been trying to finish my final chapter for Before James and it's a tall order! Anyway, thank you so much as always for your amazing response to my chapters. This one is a little short and doesn't have Mary in it, but it's full of Marauders!! Enjoy!**_

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By the Quidditch Pitch

**SIRIUS POV**

"So how in the world am I meant to prove how much I like her?"

I was lying on my bed, I'm ashamed to say, in the ultimate drama queen position. A hand over my face, lying spread-eagled. Merlin, if the whole school could see me now. The Marauders were sitting around me, trying their best to keep the smirks off their stupid faces. I don't know what I've gotten myself into. It had been over a week since Hogsmeade and Mary has refused to talk to me. Not about real things anyway. Sure, she very politely asked me to "pass the toast" at breakfast on Wednesday and she even said "good job" after I conjured a perfect corporeal Patronus in Defense on Friday. The best was when she asked, "can I borrow a quill please Sirius?" in Arithmancy this morning, but she didn't say much else. She missed our Owlery night today. She's been asleep for hours already.

At least she'd gone back to looking like herself. Her fringe has finally grown out and she pushes it to the side and lets her hair fall in her natural waves. She's so much more beautiful than I ever thought. I never thought I'd notice the way a girl had done her hair before. I don't know what she's doing to me… Of course every guy who'd hit on her at Hogsmeade went back to hardly speaking to her, but I could see she didn't care. It's funny, I've always thought myself to be so indifferent. Uncaring of people's opinions of me, bored with the gossip that revolved around my everyday actions. But Mary has made me realize that she's the real 'cool' one. Sure it upsets her that no one notices her half the time but now that people know who she is, she hasn't let it go to her head. She doesn't care in the slightest when people talk behind her back. She probably picked that up from Lily. I'm usually the same way. I know it doesn't seem like it, but this year has been strange for me. I don't think I've been myself since this summer when I ran away from home. The difference between Mary and I is simple. She's not afraid to be with _me_.

"Padfoot, we've been through this a thousand times…you're starting to sound like Prongs!" Remus said with a chuckle.

Prongs looked a bit offended. "There's nothing wrong with that Moony!"

Remus just rolled his eyes and spoke to me again. "You really just need to figure out a way to show her you do care. Show her that you were insane for wanting to hide her from everyone. Make a grand gesture in front of everyone, apologize…make amends!"

"Yeah well it all sounds well and good when you put it that way Moony…but you try putting it into words when you're talking to a girl you really like but have mistreated for weeks" I said dully, barely moving from my position. That shut him up. He just shrugged and stood up to get ready for bed.

"You should just ravish her in a broom cupboard!! That worked whenever Emmeline or Kerry were mad at you," Peter suggested naming my past two girlfriends.

"Wormy, I think you've been stumbling upon far too many of Lily's muggle romance novels" Prongs said, hiding a smile.

Peter just made a face and copied Remus, getting ready for bed. "Fine! You two figure it out, if you're so smart."

Prongs and I smirked at each other and sat in silence until the hangings had been pulled around Moony and Wormtail's four posters.

"Want to go sit by the Quidditch pitch?" James asked nonchalantly. I nodded.

"Pour us another!" I said laughing. James obliged, with a chuckle of his own and then filled his glass too.

"I can't believe I said that, Lily must think I'm a right poof," James said. Apparently, yesterday James had told Lily during an argument that her eyes were the color of freshly picked toad. Needless to say, it hadn't gone over well.

"Well, if you are, I'm worse! I told Mary she'd changed my life…" I said, voice trailing off as I began thinking again. I stared up at the stars. James and I were sitting under the stands and catching up on best-mate time. I was glad to be here with him although part of me wished I was at the Owlery with Mary and I'm sure he wouldn't have minded being in the common room bothering Lily.

"Do you think that's true?" James was asking thoughtfully.

"Honestly, yes. I always thought that you lot were the only ones I would bother changing for. When you told me I was a haughty prick in second year, I took it down a notch. When Moony said I didn't care about anything in fourth year, I showed you all how much I care about the Marauders. When Petey said I was too mean to him yesterday…I well, I ignored that, but-"

James was now laughing hysterically which made me join in and soon we were clutching our sides, trying to catch our breath. After we had calmed down, I finished what I was saying, rather drunkenly because we'd had a fair few.

"But, now, I find myself wanting to change for her. Act differently, care about more things…just to make her happy. Is that crazy?"

James shook his head violently. "No, I feel the same way about Lily. I want so bad for her to realize I'd do anything for her…because I would. I don't think we're losing ourselves in the process though, you know? I just think we're growing because of situation…circumstance. I have no problem with that. Whenever people say 'I don't like people who change' I think it's a load of rubbish. Change is necessary."

I nodded. I like how Prongs and I can take reckless midnight excursions on my motorcycle during the summer, hex Severus Snape between periods, but still be able talk like this without feeling embarrassed or guarded. As much as we love Moony and Wormtail, we just don't have the same relationship with them as we do with each other. People always say that lads don't talk about things as much as girls do. I don't think that's true though. Sure, we're more straight-forward about it. We don't spend hours re-hashing the same event over and over again. We don't over analyse and find meaning in things that meant nothing. But none of that means we're not capable of having a serious conversation. Especially when you and your best mate wouldn't think twice about dying for each other.

"Do you think you're actually just afraid for feeling this way about someone?" James asked in deep thought.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…it just so happens I like Lily, who is popular and known by everyone. But I'm still scared of actually letting my guard down and being myself around her…I think it's because I'm so afraid of feeling so strongly for one person."

It all started to come together.

"We really do share part of a brain Prongs" I commented with a chuckle, making him smile.

"So, do you think more than the popularity thing... it's the fact that you're scared of caring about someone so much? Someone who could just as easily hurt you?" His voice was quiet and he sounded a little embarrassed. I understood though, I would feel the same way saying those things out loud.

"I think you've hit the nail on the head Mr.Prongs," I said sighing. "You see right through me don't you? Moony jumps to conclusions, Wormtail doesn't know what to think. But you always know."

Prongs laughed. "You're like my brother man. We live together…you're my best mate. Of course I see right through your rubbish excuses. Worried that people will stop liking you? Bollocks! It's just like you see through my pathetic joking with Lily."

I grinned but was suddenly thoughtful. "Know what's funny? I don't even think I realized what I was actually afraid of, until you brought it up."

"Hey, that's what I'm here for".

I grinned but I suppose it must've come out rather sleazy because Prongs yelled,

"Oi! Stay away from me. Just because we're drunk, doesn't mean you can come on to me!" he teased before we both burst into another fit of drunken laughter.

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_**Thanks for reading this chapter, please do what you're oh so good at at, and make me happy with a review!**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**A/N: SORRYYYYY!! I know you guys expect my quick updates but I've had an insane week...this chapter is good though, I'm really happy with it. Before James readers, the final chapter will be up shortly!! Much love, thanks for reviewing, Enjoy!!**_

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Daring

**MARY POV**

I don't know why I ever longed to be talked about. Either I was hearing that I was madly in love with Sirius Black who thought I was a toad…or apparently Richard Davies was going to ask me out. I was not happy with either rumour. Mostly I was just unhappy that I hadn't spoken to Sirius. I haven't really had anyone to talk to properly since Hogsmeade. Dorcas and Marlene are fun, but they've always been closer than they were to Lily and I. Lily and Snape have been spending a lot of time talking. She's really worried about him but he's been acting like a bigger git every time. She's always apologizing for 'not being there for me' but I feel bad that I can't be there for her. I wonder what's going to become of their friendship. I knew things were going to change after he called her a mudblood after OWLs. I hadn't expected her to last this long, but then again Lily is the most caring person I know. I guess she wasn't quite ready to give up on him. Funny enough, I think she understands the way I'm acting about Sirius because of it. She's never been romantically interested in Snape, but it's just that, like her, I wasn't ready to give up on Sirius either.

I wonder if I should try talking to him today. Not about our relationship, but maybe just about general things. I couldn't very well keep only asking him to pass me the toast. We had Herbology first today, but I was dreading it. It was the one of the classes, which we shared with the Hufflepuffs. Stupid Lucy Murphy was also in it. She'd taken a severe dislike to me recently and took every opportunity to either make fun of me, whisper nasty things about my hair or step on my foot unusually hard. I thanked Merlin she was only in two of my classes. Today though, I wasn't even concerned with the glare she gave me as I came into the classroom after breakfast. I was more worried about what I might say to Sirius today. He hadn't been at breakfast. Neither had James. I wondered if they were skiving today or something. I hoped not. Not after I'd finally made the decision to talk to him again. As Miss Sprout entered the room, I suddenly became very aware of the fact that winter break would be coming soon. Halloween had been on Monday, which meant we had a little over a month before we all went home. So much can happen in that time span though. We'd only been in school for two months and already I'd had my first kiss, my first sort-of boyfriend, had a popular Ravenclaw Quidditch player proposition me, been asleep for over a week non-stop, had a one-day makeover and also asked Sirius Black to prove he wanted to be with me. Not bad for the quiet girl who no one has known for over five years.

Moments after Miss Sprout had begun to explain today's lesson, Sirius and James stumbled in. They looked very disheveled and mumbled apologies to the annoyed professor. For once they didn't seem to make a scene. I'd seen it before. It was after Remus, the youngest of the Marauders had turned sixteen. They had all done the walk of shame the next day. Hogsmeade apparently serves goodlooking sixteen year old boys firewhisky because I don't think I've ever witnessed such a horrendous, collective hangover. Now, Lily seemed to be laughing as James tried in vain to cover his ears. Professor Sprout was demonstrating how to repot a Screaming Furdunkle plant and it was making an unusually high-pitched sound. Sirius was cringing and James looked like he was going to kill the professor.

"PROFESSOR!" he yelled over the noise and the young Professor dumped the roots into water. The screaming ceased.

"Yes Potter?"

"Is there any way we can wear ear muffs for this?" he practically begged.

She laughed. "Nope" she said, offering no explanation and pulled the roots back up. Sirius and James groaned and slammed their heads into the desk.

By the time we were in Transfiguration, Sirius looked a little pale and James had already thrown up in the bathroom once. They both sat quietly in the back of the room, heads in hands, staring moodily at McGonagall. Remus seemed to have a silly "serves them right" expression on his face all day and Peter kept rushing to get them water. I had been watching Sirius all morning. His hair was messy and unkempt and he had a slight scowl on his face. I noticed for the first time his huge resemblance to his brother. Although Sirius had an air of haughtiness about him, just one smile was charming enough to believe he's never done a bad thing in his life and rescued homeless puppies on the side. Regardless of his lack of grins today, my stomach flipped over. It reminded me of the days before he knew I existed. When all I would do was look at him and never expect any more than a brief glance. In this class of course he sat behind me, so I didn't have the opportunity to acknowledge him at all. I wondered how long we would go without speaking. I wondered if he thought I was worth the effort it would take to 'prove' he wanted to be with me. I hoped so. I couldn't just stop liking him.

"Mr Black, Mr Potter? Is something wrong, or am I just boring you?" McGonagall said sternly.

"No Miss" James said weakly, as Sirius said, "You're boring us."

She glared at him. "While you might think you're funny Mr.Black, I fail to see the point of speaking to me that way. Ten points from Gryffindor."

A few people groaned. It was strange with the Marauders, they were constantly losing points but always managed to win them back two-fold. I suppose people were annoyed that they wouldn't be able to win points back when they were in this condition. When McGonagall had walked away, irritated, I turned to them.

"Have you tried Pepper up?" I said.

They both looked at me blankly.

"Uh, yeah, it's nasty stuff but it gets rid of a cold pretty easy" James said in a confused voice as Sirius laughed weakly. I gave them an exasperated sigh.

"For your hangover…" I explained.

"Does that actually work?" Sirius asked in a some-what quiet voice. It lacked his usual confidence. I wondered if it was because he was nervous talking to me…or he was bored. I couldn't quite tell.

I shrugged. "Sarah uses it all the time."

"Never tried…but either way, Poppy would never give it to us unless we were coughing up a fit" James said dully, massaging his temples.

"I have some" Lily said out of the blue, turning around.

"You'll let us have it Evans?" James said in awe.

She raised an eyebrow. "If it gets you to stop acting like you're going to Avada yourself…yes"

"Worth a shot" Sirius said looking at me, with a small smile. I smiled back slightly as Lily pulled a bottle from her bag and handed it to James.

"Just a small swig should do it" Lily advised.

"Been hungover much Evans" James said conversationally.

"On occasion" she said as she worked on the spell we were practicing. She hadn't quite gotten the hang of it.

He studied her in awe for a moment after taking a swig and handing Sirius the bottle to do the same. "You ought to be a bit quicker with your flick." When she looked at him, he added quickly, "Just some advice."

She nodded thoughtfully before doing what he said. The horseshoe in front of her suddenly grew and transformed into a small pony. She looked surprised and rather pleased.

"Well done Miss Evans!! Ten Points!" McGonagall said approvingly. Lily blushed before saying, "Uh actually Professor, Potter showed me how."

The class looked on in shock. Lily Evans, crediting James Potter? He looked just as surprised as everyone else. The Pepper Up seemed to be working because Sirius and James were now smirking easily.

"Really now…" McGonagall said. She didn't sound too surprised. James and Sirius were the best at Transfiguration in our year. "Well Potter, prove it". Her words stung slightly as I turned and Sirius and I met eyes. He looked sad.

Potter smiled and nodded. He waved his wand and a full grown horse appeared on his desk. The class clapped enthusiastically and even McGonagall smiled. James turned it back and looked at her.

"Well done Mr Potter, Te-" she was cut off however because suddenly a gleaming white unicorn was on Sirius' desk. He grinned, leaning on the back two legs of his chair. The class laughed and again clapped. I couldn't help smiling. They were always trying to out-do each other.

McGonagall actually laughed. I don't think in five years I've seen her laugh. She nodded and said, "Very well, Ten points each to Miss Evans, Mr Potter and Mr Black. Now back to work class, you have some catching up to do!"

Lily turned. "Show offs," she said. It was the first time she'd said that to them and smiled genuinely. James looked like he might fall off his chair as Lily busied herself with trying to perform the spell and achieve a larger horse.

"Thanks for the Pepper-Up suggestion" Sirius whispered in my ear, suddenly very close. I almost trembled at the light breath on my ear. I smiled to myself, trying my best to cover it up, but I knew he saw.

After class, Lily and I were talking about something or the other, trying to wade through the large crowds to go to Potions. Suddenly I heard a voice yell my name. Everyone seemed to freeze.

"MARY!" Sirius yelled, hurrying forward. James, Remus and Peter were close behind but hung back as he approached me.

"You're brilliant for thinking of the Pepper Up," he said as he passed Lily the bottle with a nod of thanks. She didn't say anything, just watched my expression closely. I wasn't sure how to react. Here he was…complimenting me…in public. How was I supposed to react? I shrugged.

"You're welcome, I'm glad it worked" I replied, very aware of the many curious eyes focused on us.

"Also, can I say…you look beautiful today" he said with his lopsided grin. I blushed, not knowing what to say in reply. People around us were whispering, gossiping. I was very confused. It was even worse when he pulled me into a hard, passionate, rough kiss. Right.In.Front.Of.Everyone.

When we separated, I stared. My eyes moved to the surrounding people. There was Lucy Murphy, gaping. Frank Longbottom looking surprised. Emmeline Vance looking confused. Lily looking worried and James, Remus and Peter smiling. Then I was back to Sirius, looking very pleased with himself indeed. I felt an emotion bubble inside me and the next thing I knew I had slapped him, hard and tight across the cheek. There was an audible, collective gasp in the corridor from our onlookers. All I saw was Sirius' confused face.

"How dare you?" I said, my voice strangled. I was on the verge of tears. "How dare you think this was the way?" I whispered so softly that I'm sure only the two people standing closest, he and Lily could hear. With that, I turned and ran to the common room, pushing blindly past the puzzled people in the crowd. I didn't care that I would be missing class. I just wanted to get as far away as possible from him.

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_**A/N: Well? :)**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**A/N: Sorry, its taken me a while. I have decided to post two chapters in the same day. The next one will be up shortly or at least in a few hours. I figured you deserved two chapters for your patience. Sorry this chapter is a bit of a filler but its a transition to the next pretty eventful chapter.**_

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Nothing Much Happens

**SIRIUS POV**

I'm a git. Apparently I have absolutely no clue what to do when it comes to girls. I've had it easy for so long, I guess I took girls for granted. I've always thought that when I found a girl who I really cared about, we'd just really like each other and everything would fall in to place. It's strange…I always thought Prongs was the romantic. While I might not be idealistic like he is, I'm clearly not realistic. Kissing Mary? Kissing her in front of a good portion of Hogwarts? What the hell was I playing at? I've never seen her look so disappointed or scandalized before. I thought she'd appreciate me showing her how much I care in front of everyone…I suppose its not so simple though is it? I've been getting a crap load of snide comments directed at me by stupid Richard Davies. I hate him. I've noticed that ever since the incident with Mary yesterday, he's taken every opportunity to flourish her with compliments. The Hogwarts rumour mill is on overdrive. People had no clue how any of this had happened. Mary McDonald who few people had even heard of, was now the public object of my affection. Girls have come up to me on several occasions saying I could do better and Mary was so rude to have slapped me. I don't know what to say to them. I don't know what to say period.

I don't know what to do anymore.

The Marauders aren't much help either. Moony said I should've talked to her instead of just snogging. Peter thinks I should work on my kissing technique. I've never had any complaints before!? Oh Merlin, what if he's right? James is the only one who could only shrug. It's good to know he has no clue how to fix this. I feel like I'm not alone in my confusion. What should I do? Ask her what she wants? I can't think of any good grand gestures. I don't do that crap. It's strange because with Emmeline, I liked her and had a couple of conversations with her and then she was mine. With Kerry, who I dated in fourth year it had been a little harder. She has an older brother in Seventh Year and I had to become mates with him first. Prongs has done plenty of things to show Evans he likes her but she just rolls her eyes at him. I just don't know how to get things right with Mary.

She wasn't anywhere in the common room when I woke up on Saturday. As I walked down the stairs slowly, I saw Evans, McKinnon and Meadowes sitting in their usual place chatting about something or the other. When I passed them to go sit with my mates I saw Evans watching me. It was weird though. She didn't give me her usual warning look or her glare of disgust, she looked…well, she looked like she felt sorry for me. When our eyes met, she looked away but for a second I wondered if she wanted to help.

"Alright lads?" I greeted them as I sat beside Wormtail on the sofa.

"Not bad" they replied in unison.

"What should we do today?" Prongs asked ruffling his hair.

"We could go round Honeydukes for a bit of chocolate," Moony suggested.

"Can you lot teach me the new transfiguration spell?" Peter asked.

"Blimey Pete, we figured that one out at the beginning of Fifth Year before we became you know whats" I said irritably.

"Yeah, but I've forgotten" Peter replied looking sad.

"Go on, show us how you're doin' it…" James said with a shrug.

Evans caught this part of the conversation and looked surprised at James' answer. She had walked over and was no standing behind Prongs quietly watching. She waited to speak as James corrected Peter's wrist movement and told him the right enunciation. Peter produced a little pony and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Keep practicing" James said with a grin, leaning back in his chair. He had yet to notice that Evans was standing behind him with a funny expression on her face. It looked like she was trying very hard not to smile. She cleared her throat and James jumped.

"Oh, hello Evans" he said pleasantly.

Again, she looked surprised at his attitude.

"Hiya Potter…" she said with her pretty smile.

It looked for a second like she was going to turn around and leave. She'd certainly forgotten why she'd come over here. As she and Prongs smiled at each other I couldn't help but crack a grin. Remus met my look with a knowing one of his one and then coughed slightly catching Lily's attention. She looked at me and suddenly straightened her face. She looked very confused for a second before she said,

"Black, I wondered…could I talk to you? When you have a moment…"

We all must've looked very confused because she quickly added, "About Mary".

The other nodded in understanding and I nodded slowly. "What are you doing now?" I asked.

"Not much…walk?" she asked, cocking her head to the side slightly. That Evans is very charming, for the first time I think I understood what all the lads saw in her. She could probably make someone jump off a building with that smile. So, after glancing at Prongs who gave me the nod and I reluctantly stood up and followed Evans. Girls have it so easy, they can twist lads (even lads like the Marauders) round their little finger without the slightest of thoughts.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I peeked out of the dormitory around noon and looked down to the common room. Marlene and Dorcas were lounging in some armchairs and Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew sat nearby, in deep conversation. I assumed Lily was around with Snape. She'd told me yesterday that she had finally told him she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He's involved with the Dark Arts…everyone knows it and nothing Lily says is going to change his mind. Even though they'd had this conversation, I expected Snape was still be trying to change her mind. I was also glad to see Sirius was nowhere around. He was probably still asleep. I wonder if I overreacted yesterday? I suppose I acted on impulse and didn't think about why he did it. There was nothing to do anyway. He needed to know that I wasn't always going to buckle to his charms. It took everything in me to not just give in and beg for him to date me. I needed to have some self respect. I just hope I haven't put him off for good!

I decided to go to the library and work on my Transfiguration essay. I didn't want to discuss everything I'd hid from Dorcas and Marlene in excruciating detail. They had been very upset with me for not telling them but I could only shrug so they'd left it alone for the time being. I waved at them vaguely but didn't stop to talk. I just readjusted the strap of my bag on my shoulder and headed to the portrait hole. I smiled softly as Remus waved at me and Peter grinned. James seemed to be watching me very carefully but I could only nod at him. He nodded back and I felt his eyes on me as I walked past and out of the common room. I hurried through the corridors to the staircases. I heard serious voices coming from the staircase leading to the dungeons but I couldn't quite make out the conversation. I hoped it wasn't any Slytherins looking for lonesome Gryffindors to pick on. When I heard one of the voices was a kind voice of a girl, I breathed a sigh of relief and scurried up the staircase to the library. There was someone behind me but the footsteps didn't sound threatening so I didn't bother looking behind me. I smiled at Madam Pince who pursed her lips together and headed to a quiet spot in the back. Sitting myself at one of the tables I sighed deeply. Taking out my Transfiguration book and flipping it to the newest chapter, I prepared to write on the very long scroll of parchment I'd cut. As I wrote my initials at the top, I struggled very hard to not add a plus sign and the letters SB next to them. He was the only thing on my mind. Suddenly someone was standing in front of me and rather nervously clearing their throat. I looked up and was surprised to see the boy in front of me. He smiled a charming grin and said,

"Alright love?"


	19. Chapter 19

Swap

**SIRIUS POV**

I followed Evans silently as she led me through various different corridors. If I hadn't known the halls of Hogwarts so well I would've been well confused. But I was curious as to why she was heading down to the dungeons. I suppose it's quieter down there. I followed her down the stairs and stood in front of her as she sat down, a few steps from the bottom. She inclined her head to the steps and I grudgingly took a seat on the step below her before looking into her earnest eyes.

I was relieved to see that she looked as nervous as I felt. At least that meant she wasn't going to give me an earful.

"Sirius…" she began saying my first name for probably only the third time since second year. We'd been mates until about then, when we'd all developed mild hormones and James had started pulling her pigtails. It was only really Remus who was still friends with her. I liked her, yes. She was a laugh but she didn't really act like herself around us. She was always too busy yelling at Prongs.

"Are you ok?" she asked, her bottle green eyes concerned.

"Did you know your eyes are the color of freshly picked toad?" I said offhandedly. She looked at me in disbelief for a moment before she began to laugh. Her face turned slightly pink as she struggled to breath between giggles. I smirked and laughed with her until she finally got hold of herself.

"Right, now that this whole process is a little less formal…" I said with a genuine smile. I think she was grateful for it. It must've been very difficult for her to talk to me civilly, so I felt like she needed to be put at ease.

"Well, yeah…I'm not really ok. In fact, I'm rather confused" I continued with a frown. She nodded.

"I expected you would be. Do you know why Mary reacted the way she did?"

I shrugged indifferently but I knew she could tell I really didn't have a clue.

"Well Sirius, think about it this way. Suppose your mum suddenly decided to hug you and shower you with affection just because some influential person from the ministry was around and it would make them happy?"

I made a face. That made no sense.

"I don't think much of your analogies Evans…" I said with a smirk making her roll her eyes.

"Alright you dolt. You asked Mary to keep your relationship a secret for so long and she had no clue why other than she thought you were ashamed of her. Then when you finally wanted her not to be mad anymore, you decide to do everything she wanted you to do in a really exaggerated way!"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah…I was a bit of a git. I just didn't know how else to prove to her that I really do want to be with her. And that I'm sorry I'd been a git all this time". Funny. Evans is really easy to talk to. I suppose its easier to spill your feelings to girls sometimes. They don't mind so much if you sound like an emotional prat.

"Well, do you mind me asking why you kept this from everyone?" she implored, tilting her head to the side. I sighed. Great, here's when it all comes out.

"I just…I never got a lot of attention at home you know? It's something I always craved…and now I've had it for so long…I suppose I was afraid of losing it."

Lily fought the glare she clearly wanted to give me and nodded stiffly.

"Go on then, yell at me…I deserve it," I said putting my head in my hands. She was quiet for a while. I suppose it was because there were footsteps coming from upstairs. When they faded away she spoke again.

"I don't want to yell at you, that won't help anything. But yes, you're a prat. Why would being with Mary change how people looked at you?"

I cringed. "Well she's not very popular is she?"

Lily shook her head. "You are a bloody git. But at least you're being honest…I couldn't help you if you weren't."

I said nothing.

"Sirius, I don't think anything you do could change how much the people at Hogwarts admire you. And somehow, I'm sure you know that too. That might be part of why you didn't want anyone to know about Mary…but then the fact that you did what you did yesterday, tells me something different…"

I laughed despite my mood. "You're exactly like Prongs".

She flushed crimson. "I am not anything like Potter, thank you very much!"

I shook my head laughing. "No, you see he was the only other person who didn't buy that rubbish excuse."

She smiled slightly refusing to acknowledge her similarity with Prongs.

"Ok…here's the truth Evans. Mary's different to anyone I've ever known. She's not the same as all the girls I've dated before. And that's what scares me. I knew what to expect with Emmeline and Kerry and even Lucy. But with her…I can't help worrying that I'll fall too hard for her…and then…I'll lose her. But then again, I may have already lost her."

Lily shook her head violently and grabbed my arm. I looked at her and she looked at me fiercely. "Tell her that. Tell her just that Sirius. You haven't lost her."

I laughed, rather embarrassed. "You really think that would work?"

"Yes! You have to be honest with her. Be honest like you were with me!"

I nodded slightly and then smiled. "Know what's funny?"

She shook her head.

"Prongs said the same thing about you. He's afraid of feeling so much for you when you might just end up hurting him".

She looked shocked. "Oh shut up. He didn't" she said looking away with a red face.

"He did. It's only when he said that about you that I realized that's how I feel about Mary too".

She looked very quiet and thoughtful. I knew she'd fall for Prongs eventually. Quickly she changed the subject back to me.

"Anyway look, just let her know that you care. Don't go around trying to snog her. Just start from the beginning. Show her you're not afraid of people knowing you like her. Make her know that you're afraid of losing her. I can assure you, you two will work things out," she said with her dazzling smile. I smiled back and before I knew it, I'd hugged her. Who knows why I did it, I think I just suddenly felt a rush of gratefulness, you know? When we separated she was looking very shocked, just as I felt at my own actions.

"Thanks Evans…I owe you" I said softly.

She grinned. "Well considering you've just spilled your heart to me, reckon you ought to start calling me Lily?"

I laughed. "Well Lily…now that you've tried to sort my love life out, why don't we talk about you and James…?"

She laughed and punched my arm playfully. "No such luck Black!"

* * *

**MARY POV**

"Mind if I sit?" James Potter said with a playful smile, glancing at the chair beside me. Without a word, I nodded. Potter and I didn't really speak. I mean yeah he'd been friendly since he'd accidentally put me to sleep for a week, but we never sat together alone or chatted or really did anything together unless Lily, Remus or Sirius were around. I eyed him suspiciously.

"What's this about?" I asked unable to hide my skepticism.

He put a false hurt look on his handsome grinning face. For the first time I actually saw what all the girls see in him. He doesn't have the same appeal as Sirius…he's far more straightforward. His cheekiness is probably what makes him so attractive. It's very hard to try and be serious when he's smiling at you like that. I made a mental note to congratulate Lily for being able to keep a straight face when he looked at her.

"Now, now Mary…I thought we were chums. Can't I just hang out with you?"

I raised my eyebrow at him. Even his grin couldn't stop me from giving him a look of disbelief. He chuckled in response and shrugged.

"Alright, alright, so maybe I have motives."

"Motives?" I asked wearily.

"Not to worry, I'm not going to ask you out. I'm no Richard Davies…" he said with a smirk. I blushed crimson.

"I…I- what!? I didn't think that!" I protested.

He laughed again warmly. "Oh Rumbly…I'm just having a laugh. I know you didn't think I'd try and ask my best-mate's girl out…"

I narrowed my eyes. One, he used that pathetic nickname they'd come up with at the beginning of the year and, Two…

"I am NOT Sirius' girl" I said sternly. Even as the words came out though, I felt my heart sink. Potter seemed to notice because he gave me a concerned look before finally smiling genuinely.

"Ok…but that's only because he's being a right git!"

"Well, I'm glad we agree on something James" I said looking back down at my textbook. HA! As if I could even attempt to write my essay now. He watched me read for a few moments before speaking again.

"He really likes you Mary…"

I jerked my head up and looked at him. His face was stone serious.

"Well he has a very twisted way of showing it" I said putting down my quill with a sigh.

"It's only because he has no clue what to do when it comes to you!" James said in earnest.

I laughed. "Oh come on James. You lot have never had a problem with girls before!"

He looked at me incredulously. "Are you joking?" he asked in disbelief. That confused me.

"Have you even seen the way I act around Lily!?" he asked.

I smiled thinking about how awkward he was around her despite all his suggestive comments and jokes.

"We might not have a problem when we're having a casual relationship, but when it comes to girls we actually like…forget it," he said making a funny face. I laughed. He really was very funny.

"How am I meant to know if he actually likes me though?" I said quietly looking at the desk. I don't know what was making me so open with James. He just seemed trustworthy. I suppose you wouldn't have noticed right away like you did with Remus but after this conversation, I couldn't help but think James Potter was one of the easiest people to talk to.

"Because I don't think any other girl could've slapped Sirius and not expect to be hexed sideways, let alone have him still want to be with them."

I blushed and finally met his eyes. He was smiling and his hazel eyes sparkled with slight mischief but honesty.

"I suppose you're right" I conceded with a tiny smile.

He looked thrilled. "Does this mean you'll forgive him!? Can we all go back to our lives again? Can you get Evans to go out with me?"

I laughed. "Everyone can go back to their lives, I can't convince Lily to do anything and no, I can't forgive him just yet. I need to know why he's done a lot of things…I can't just be walked all over! I've let that happen long enough." I shrugged and my expression changed to sadness.

He nodded and was quiet for a moment before saying, "Hey Mary, look at me."

I did, slowly.

"He'll figure it out, I know he will. He's not about to let you get away that easily!"

Then he grinned as if no one needed to have a care in the world and I couldn't do anything but nod and smile back.

"Now come on, I'm starving. You should take a break from that essay and come get something to eat!" He said happily grabbing my hand to pull me up.

"I haven't even started it yet though!" I complained to him as he started putting my books back into my bag.

"Pish posh, do it tomorrow" he said dismissively carefully tucking the roll of parchment into the side and picking up my bag. He made a shocked face. "Are there bricks in this!?"

I laughed as I followed him out of the library. "No! I just didn't bother unpacking all my books," I explained thinking it was nice of him to carry my bag. I made a mental note to tell Lily she really ought to give him a chance.

"Blimey Mary, you're going to have back problems when you grow up!" James said pretending to pant heavily. I laughed and pushed him as we made our way down to the Great Hall.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

"Are you hungry?" I asked Lily as we started walking to the common room.

She stopped and nodded. "Very, actually."

"Brilliant, let's get lunch," I said pulling her back in the direction of the Great Hall.

"Oh I'm starving!" she said almost skipping to keep up with my large strides. Smiling I slowed down as she chattered on. The bird was quite the little talker!

"Oooh, I hope they have blueberry shortcake! I haven't had any of that since before Halloween!" she said licking her lips.

I laughed. "Careful Lil, it's going straight to your hips!"

She opened her mouth in shock and I laughed happily. It felt good to know I had her on my side, somewhat. She was such a laugh.

"Sirius Black, you prat! I am not fat" she said lunging for me. She managed to get a good punch in my side before I got her in a headlock and affectionately ruffled her hair as we turned the corner towards the Great Hall. We froze however when we saw the two people in front of us. I suddenly felt very awkward as I saw James looking at us very stiffly with a slight glare in his usually relaxed eyes. I let Lily go and she straightened up. I knew she was looking at Mary. I cast my eyes her way and saw her confused and rather hurt expression. What a bloody misunderstanding. I was thinking about what to say when I noticed that James was holding Mary's bag and books and she was biting her lip almost a little nervously. My blood suddenly started boiling and I stiffened.

What the hell was going on!?

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_**A/N: TWO CHAPTERS!! Hurrayyyyy. And this was a fun chap. Sirius/Lily? James/Mary? hahaha never! not in this story anyway :D OK, PLEASE, PLEASE review!! Have you lot lost interest in me :(??**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Nice to see that you lot still love me :) haha Enjoy this chapter, although I'm not sure you will...  
**_

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Falling Out

**MARY POV**

"Mary, I promise I really was just talking to him about you!" Lily was saying as I calmly ate my lunch. I wasn't feeling particularly calm on the inside though. Lily already had James chasing after her, did she really have to go after Sirius? I know it's irrational. Lily would never do that do me. It's just that she always wins. Always. All the boys I think are fit end up liking her. All the boys I wish would notice me, noticed her the same day they realized girls weren't icky. So why? Why now, when the boy of my dreams finally showed interest in me, did she have to go talk to him and be friendly and all that!? She's not only prettier, she's so much more interesting than me too! I couldn't even hate her if Sirius did like her. Oh bugger, I am a right drama queen.

"It's alright Lily, it just caught me off guard."

"You still sound mad!" she said worriedly.

"You don't like him do you?" I asked her quietly, finally looking her in the eye.

She looked shocked and almost started to laugh. "Me? Like Sirius Black? Mary have you gone batshit bonkers?"

That made me smile. She's right. I'm crazy. Lily would never like Sirius. James was more her type, even if it seemed like she hated him more. The problem wasn't Lily though. It was Sirius. What if he liked her!? I glanced over at him. He and James seemed to be in a heated discussion. They were starting to yell at each other. Suddenly I saw that Sirius had gestured our way and yelled at James who looked positively livid. He then stalked out of the Great Hall as many people started to whisper. What was that about!? Surely James must be angrier with Sirius for being with Lily?

"He really does like you Mary…I think he was furious that you were with James. He was holding your things after all…" Lily gave me a funny look. Almost as if she thought I was interested in James.

"I have no interest in Potter, thank you very much. He's all yours…they all are." I said to her curtly. She looked upset.

"I wasn't implying that you liked Potter! Nor do I care if anyone likes him, I just know that you like Sirius and James isn't going to distract you from that!" Lily shot back, stiffly.

It was probably our first argument. We'd quarreled and bickered before but usually we got on really well.

"Why did you have to go interfere anyway!?" I yelled. I regretted it the second I said it. Her eyes looked glassy and her mouth was open slightly. People had now turned their attention to us.

"I was trying to help you! Because otherwise you two will screw things up!" she hissed back, scandalized.

"Oh, this coming from the girl who doesn't go out with anyone because no one is good enough for precious Lily Evans!" I said, really angrily.

"I can't believe you would say that to me! Just because I have standards and self respect!?" She screeched, standing up, almost in tears. I felt a twinge of guilt, I didn't mean anything I was saying. I was just so furious. I stood up too.

"And I have no self respect? At least I don't go around leading on every boy I talk to! Montgomery, Diggory, Potter…Snape!?" I taunted. It wasn't fair of me. I know it wasn't. Especially since she and Snape didn't talk anymore.

Angry tears rolled down her pretty face as she laughed a sarcastic laugh, so unlike her own. "Ha! Well Mary…let me see, the first boy who actually talked to you properly also told you he wanted to keep your relationship a secret. Fancy that…maybe I accidentally lead people on, but I will never ever let myself be walked all over like you have since Sixth year began!" Then, she spun around and ran out of the deadly quiet Great Hall leaving me in utterly, stunned silence. After a few moments I looked up and my gaze shifted around the room. Luckily it wasn't completely full like it was at dinner time but I still saw a range of expressions. Mostly they were shocked. Some were angry, others sympathetic. A few people even looked impressed. I didn't care though. My eyes fell on Potter who was looking at me with a very similar expression to my own. I closed my eyes as the first tears began to fall and I heard whispers begin. Soon, there was a strong arm around my shoulders and Potter was whispering that it would be ok. I hoped he was right.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Stinking, bloody Prongs. I know I'm over reacting, but then again, so did he! I actually have a legitimate reason to be angry. I was dating…well…sort of dating Mary and they'd clearly been alone talking somewhere. He was even holding her bleedin' things! I haven't even done that before! He can't be mad at me for being friendly with Evans…she asked to talk to me INFRONT of him dammit! Even if it hadn't been a conversation about Mary, he's never had a shot in hell with her so how can he be angry?!

Of course I'm being completely irrational. It just made me so angry to see Mary with someone else, let alone by best mate. I knew, deep down that he probably was just talking to her about me and trying to help like he said, but I was acting on impulse. I never wanted to lose her and I felt like I was! I heard the dormitory door open and I wondered if it was Remus coming to give me chocolate or something. I said nothing as I felt weight on my bed.

"Mate, let's just sort this out right?" James said in a tough voice.

It's the voice both of use when we're apologizing.

"Yeah" I replied similarly and pulled open the hangings so we were looking at each other.

"Let's both just set the record straight" he said with a nod.

"Evans wanted to check if I was ok and was trying to help me figure stuff out with Mary. I know you understand that it's good to get advice from your bird's best friend…" I explained in a blunt, straight-forward way.

"You're right. I'm sorry for overreacting, it was just awful seeing her get along so well with you when she can't even stand the sight of me!" James said looking a little dejected.

I laughed shortly. "Unlikely mate. They might not be fully formed yet, but Evans is definitely beginning to have feelings for you."

He looked at me with hopeful eyes and I laughed at him. He smiled. "I'm also sorry that I didn't tell you I was going to talk to Macdonald about you. I really just wanted to help. And I was only carrying her stuff because she would've taken forever otherwise and I wanted you to be able to talk to her at lunch."

I nodded. "Yeah, clearly I over-reacted too. It was just weird seeing her talking to you when she can't get a word out to me."

He nodded and we pounded fists. Prongs and I are very good at sorting out our fights. They never last longer than a day.

"Evans and Macdonald had a big spat after you left. Like really cruel. They both ended up crying and Lily left and I had to comfort Mary, because honestly, Lily would never let me comfort her!" he sent me a questioning look to make sure I was ok with that and I nodded. He's a good best mate.

"Blimey, so they aren't talking now?" I said rubbing my temples.

"Suppose not. I hope they fix it though, Lily always looks upset lately, this can't be making it any better."

"Yeah and if we didn't see them together anymore, something would definitely be wrong with life" I said with a laugh. We headed down to the common room and Prongs put an arm around me and ruffled my hair. We laughed and headed over to Remus and Peter who looked amused until we saw that Mary was sitting with Dorcas on one side of the room looking at Lily very sadly from over the top of her book, while Lily determinedly had her back to Mary as she played gobstones with Marlene.

Prongs and I exchanged a look.

Bugger.

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_**A/N: Such cruel words...don't worry, they'll sort it out! I hope!! Who knows, sometimes my chapters take life of their own. Anyway, please reviewwww and I'll go back to updating almost every day like I used to :) haha**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**A/N: I don't know if any of you watch football but EURO 2008 is on and my team SPAIN just got to the finals against Germany...It's finally their year!! I hope so anyway. **_

_**Ok thanks for reviewing, please do so again...and let me know if its getting too slow, angsty or boring...I'm worried the action has slowed down.**_

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Incessant Beating

**MARY POV**

I'm dreading today. It's Tuesday. Not only do I have Arithmancy, which has been awkward for weeks because Sirius and I barely said a word to each other anymore but I also sat next to Lily in every one of my other classes. It's scaring me. We haven't talked in days. Days!! How do you go this long not talking to your best friend? Marlene and Dorcas fall out all the time, but it's usually about silly things that Lily and I roll our eyes at. Marlene and Dorcas had tried to talk to us about it, but there was no denying that the things that were said on Saturday were far past cruel. Evil even! And Lily and I are the furthest thing from evil. I came out of the bathroom just in time to see Lily pulling her hair into a tight ponytail. She was carefully avoiding my look and struggling to tease her auburn locks together. Finally she sniffed rather decisively and walked out of the dormitory, her head held high and her bag swinging behind her. Dorcas and Marlene looked at me. I could only shrug.

"Oh Mary, can't you just apologize!?" Marlene asked impatiently as Dorcas threw her a disapproving look.

"Not until she does first! She started this!" I replied angrily, also combing my hair into a tight ponytail. It had neither the elegance nor the precision of Lily's but it never would, would it?

"You both are just being stubborn!" Marlene said crossing her arms across her chest. She idolizes Lily, of course she would take her side!

"Well, if you're so bothered, just go be friends with her!"

Marlene looked shocked. I was even a little shocked. I don't know why I'm being such a cow.

"At least she's open to the idea of fixing things! All you can think about is bleeding Sirius!" Marlene shot at me angrily.

I laughed. "Oh, like you wouldn't? Haven't you been trying to sleep with him since Fourth Year?"

I said it. I don't even know why, I'm just so upset and I'm not myself lately. Marlene looked completely pissed off and even Dorcas who isn't the type of person to take sides scowled at me.

"Whatever, you both always liked her better anyway!" I said, my voice high-pitched. I won't cry. I won't.

Marlene looked completely exasperated. "You are such a child! Grow up!" she said and stalked out of the room. That left Dorcas and I looking at each other.

"Mary, why are you being so insecure?" she said in her quiet voice.

"I'm not!" I said indignantly.

"I know you've had a hard time with Sirius and other people…but why would you think that your friends…the friends you've had since First Year didn't like you? That really hurts…" she said shaking her head sadly before also leaving.

I hate my life. I truly do.

* * *

I'm getting quite sick of all this whispering. I've heard it since the beginning of the year and now there's just three weeks until Christmas. Surely these people have something better to talk about!? I can't even believe they want to discuss my life. A few months ago they hadn't a clue who I was. I really was very angry. I snapped at the person who stopped me just as I was about to enter the Transfiguration classroom.

"What do you want!?" I asked impatiently.

"Only to talk to you" came the surprised voice. I turned and saw Richard Davies with a confused smile on his Ken-doll face.

"Oh"

"I haven't spoken to you in a while" he said with a grin. I almost rolled my eyes. He'd complimented my hair in four different ways last week. Trust him not to remember.

"Yeah, well…" I said looking into my classroom. McGonagall was still grading at some papers on her desk.

"Look, what are you doing for the Hogsmeade trip before Christmas?"

I stared at him. Was this a joke?

"Uh...I don't have any plans yet" I stammered.

He smiled easily. "Great, now you do. You and me, Hogsmeade?"

I blinked. Did he just ask me out?

"Uh…" was all I could muster.

He flashed me a brilliant smile and laughed. "I'll take that as a stunned and grateful silence. I'll see you at dinner" he said before walking over to his waiting friends. I pretended not to see the high fives he'd received. I walked in to the classroom slowly, seeing McGonagall nod at me. Without a word, I walked toward my usual desk. I suppose I should be happy. Richard is very handsome and I know a lot of girls who'd give anything to go out with him. For some reason all I could feel was empty. I saw Sirius try to smile at me, but he looked sad almost immediately. I suppose that's because I must have a frown on my face. Not only was I totally confused about my date with Richard and my situation with Sirius, but Lily was also not in her usual place. Instead she was sitting with the rather sniffly Hufflepuff that always sits by herself. I'd feel sorry for that girl, but she's really not very pleasant. When you try to talk to her she just looks like you've made fun of her. Lily didn't even look my way and I noticed that she, Marlene and Dorcas were whispering before falling silent when I walked by. I tried very hard to look expressionless and just sat in my seat. The Marauders had given me a smile but even they looked a bit reluctant doing so. Sirius was the only one whose eyes never stopped studying the expression on my face. I sat quietly throughout the entire class, waiting desperately for it to be over so I could use my free to go cry in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Evans was not being pleasant. Even Prongs agrees. She, McKinnon and Meadowes have been whispering non-stop since Mary walked in. Girls are ridiculous. I bet they all felt awful for being so horrible to Mary but at the same time, none of them seemed to want to break out of their little, secure threesome. Evans is even sitting with that disgusting Hufflepuff girl. Even if Evans is one of the nicest people in our year, I don't believe for a second she enjoyed that.

I watched Mary carefully throughout the lesson. She was biting her lip, rather cutely, but it made me sad to see it wasn't due to nervousness or concentration. She looked like she was trying very hard not to cry. I was glad Prongs and I had patched things up. Although, I don't think I ever have to worry about my friends ignoring me for days on end. Of course they've all been mad at me at the same time, but that doesn't stop them talking to me…even if it's a lecture. I wanted very much to see Mary alone in Arithmancy to see if she was alright. Prongs asked her once during the lesson when he was walking to the front to ask Minnie something but she just shrugged.

When Transfiguration ended, she was the first one out of the classroom. I saw that Evans had watched her leave with a very sad expression on her face, but she just turned to Dorcas and Marlene.

"I have bloody Care of Magical Creatures now!" Marlene said. Dorcas laughed.

"Don't you love that class?" she asked but Marlene just pulled a face and they both laughed again. Evans didn't seem to be listening at all. She was just putting her stuff away very slowly.

"You ought to check on Mary" James was saying to me.

"Yeah, I'll go look for her" I said to the Marauders who nodded. Of course though, as I headed to the door McGonagall stopped me for a lecture.

Forty minutes later I finally left the deserted Transfiguration classroom and pulled out the map. Mary was in the out of order girl's bathroom. I couldn't go in there though. Moaning Myrtle has had a crush on me and James since Third Year when we were in there planning a prank. I walked back to the common room watching Mary's dot pace around the room. I sighed as I entered the Portrait hole. I was surprised to see that Dorcas and Marlene weren't with Evans and she was currently sitting next to Moony looking sullenly at him. I joined them and looked at Prongs who didn't even notice I was there, he was too busy watching Lily concernedly.

"And I didn't mean any of it! That's the worst part, I used her insecurities against her and now she's angry at Marlene and Dorcas because they seemed to have taken my side!" she said tearfully looking at a surprised James of all people.

"Oh Lily, why don't you just talk to her?" Moony was saying as he also glanced at James.

"I can't! I don't know what to say! This year has been so awful for me. I feel like I'm losing all my best friends!" Lily said covering her face. Prongs and I both noticed the tears dripping from her hands.

Even though he had stiffened at the discreet mention of Snivellus, Prongs immediately shifted seats and hesitantly started patting Lily on the back. Her hands slid away and she looked at him, red-eyed but grateful. He smiled at her encouragingly, but I could tell he was nervous.

"I just want her to forgive me! I wish I could take it all back you know?" she said looking at James as her hand slid to his knee. I couldn't help it but my eyebrows shot up and I had to stifle a chuckle. Her head darted to me and she looked livid for a second. Suddenly she started to laugh. She rested her head unconsciously on a very pleased Prongs' shoulder and laughed hysterically between sobs. She finally calmed down and shook her head.

"This is all your fault!" she said glaring at me and James but there was a faint twinkle in her eye.

Prongs and I exchanged looks and he discreetly raised an eyebrow as his arm slid around Lily's waist.

"No! You were the one who wanted to talk to me yesterday! And anyway, you don't see me and Prongs fighting do you?" I said with a smirk.

Lily seemed to suddenly realize who had her arm around her and she jumped. "Get your paws off me Potter!" she said. Prongs shrugged.

"You know you wanted it Evans" he joked half-heartedly.

She looked very confused momentarily but said nothing. We spent the remainder of the free trying to cheer her up and she occasionally laughed at our silly jokes. It's probably the first time she's sat with us and not ended up screaming at me or Prongs. It's usually only Moony she can stand. Even though I was glad Evans was feeling a little better, at the back of my mind I was worrying about Mary. When the bell rang for our next lesson, I was the first one to leave.

I saw her, waiting outside the classroom with the others, her eyes puffy and unfocused. All I wanted to do was hug her and kiss her and try and make everything better. Instead I settled on standing next to her. She looked at me for a second but then drearily fixed her gaze on the floor. I smiled as Professor Vector passed and the rest of the class filed in. I caught Mary's arm lightly before she followed. She paused and looked at me with her pretty but dull green eyes.

"Are you alright?" was all I managed. Stupid, stupid. Couldn't think of anything better, could I?

She shook her head and turned away again but I insisted on stopping her.

"You know I'm still here for you right?" I whispered to her with as much sincerity as I could.

She looked deep into my eyes for a moment and a small smile slid on to her beautiful, soft lips. She licked them unconsciously and my eyes dropped down to look at them.

"It's good to know I have someone" she said quietly before gently prying my hand off her arm and entering the room.

Damn this incessant beating in my chest!

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_**A/N: I know Mary was a right cow in this chapter but she's just being defensive. Dramatic turn in the next chapter hopefully. I know you want more Sirius/Mary...it's been a while. Review it please!! I miss the days where I'd get 20 for just one chap :( haha only joking, I'll gladly take what I can get.**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A/N: Love, love, love. By the way: Neha...I can't believe you.**_

_**Enjoy the chapter guys!! :)**_

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Ammends

**MARY POV**

I suppose my romantic relationship with Sirius is over now. I wish I could talk to Lily about what he said. "I'm still here for you". What did that mean? Still here for me despite us not being together? He hadn't tried to explain his actions to me yet at all. I suppose he's given up. If I were him, I would give up!! I really need someone to talk to. It's been almost four days since Lily and I spoke. Marlene and Dorcas started talking to me again but you can see that they still disapprove of our fight. I apologized for being rude to them but haven't had the courage to try and speak to Lily yet. The weeks seem to be flying by now. I was surprised because everyone I thought was important to me had been on the back burner this week. Sirius had not attempted to talk to me properly since Arithmancy, although admittedly he has been polite and asks how my day is…everyday. It's rather difficult for me to be honest with him though, it feels weird hearing him speak to me so formally again. Lily and I had only looked at each other significantly or sadly all week and I hadn't written to my parents or Sarah in ages. There was just too much to tell. Not to mention the Owlery makes me incredibly sad these days. Funnily enough Richard Davies has taken to walking with me to random classes and coming by to chat in the Great Hall. All he ever does talks about is himself, I've decided, but it has been nice for my self-esteem. Maybe I'll even have fun with him on Saturday in Hogsmeade. At least one good thing has been happening in my awful, miserable existence.

It was late on Thursday evening and I was returning from the library. I've been spending more and more time there now that Lily and I aren't speaking and because it's quite awkward with the other girls. I was surprised to see however that the hallways weren't completely deserted. It wasalmost curfew, Snape ought not to be out so late. He was surely going to get in trouble with the patrolling Ravenclaw prefects! I gave him an odd look as I passed. His greasy hair was plastered on to his forehead and his eyes and cheeks looked sallow. He looked ever so slightly jittery and was constantly looking around as if he was doing something he really shouldn't have been doing.

"Wait!" he said in his snobbish, hoarse voice.

I stopped and looked at him, masking my disgust. He looked more pathetic than I'd ever seen him.

"You aren't trying to get our password are you?" I said suspiciously.

He clucked his tongue impatiently. "No! Besides, everyone entering has put a silencing spell around so I won't be able to hear anyway. Look, I need a favour" He stated rudely.

"Why would I do you a favour anyway?" I asked in my coldest tone. I may not be speaking to Lily but I know how much he's hurt her feelings. It may have come out rather jittery though, I've never been all that confident, even around people I hate.

"You're Lily's friend. I need her to come out and talk to me," he said urgently.

"She's not even speaking to me," I said blankly in return.

He glared. "I don't care! You tell her that I'll sleep out here if she doesn't come out!"

"You can't force someone to be friends with you," I replied, feeling angry at him for screeching at me.

"JUST DO IT, or you'll regret it woman," he threatened coldly in a voice much older than his years. Feeling a little frightened, I nodded passively and cast a silencing spell before saying the password.

As I walked through the common room, I thought about what I would do. How was I meant to tell Lily when we weren't on speaking terms? Maybe I could get Dorcas to tell her. I knew I wouldn't though. I really wanted to talk to Lily myself. I missed her too much and I didn't think this fight was worth it anymore. She meant too much to me. I only hoped she felt the same way, or I was screwed. I was a right cow to her when she certainly didn't deserve it.

She wasn't in the common room but Dorcas and Marlene were. I waved at them heading to the staircase.

"Mary, Lily's up there!" Dorcas warned.

"I know. I need to talk to her," I said quietly seeing their faces light up. They beamed at me happily but I couldn't respond. I kept walking, noticing that the Marauders were sitting by the staircases. Sirius was watching me with a strange expression. It was more than I'd gotten out of him in days though. He barely batted an eyelash when Richard awkwardly kissed my cheek at dinner. When he saw I was looking he gave me a friendly but rather uncaring smile and I nodded at him. James and Remus grinned at me. They too, clearly had heard that I was going to speak to Lily. Peter was giving me a frightened look, which I didn't understand, so I didn't think much of it. I climbed the stairs slowly and walked tentatively into the dormitory. She was there, reading a letter and sitting at one of the dressing tables. Her head popped up when she saw me.

"Uh Lily…Severus Snape is sitting outside the portrait hole wanting to talk to you," I managed in a hesitant voice.

I suppose she must've read my hopeful thoughts behind the half smile I gave her because we both ran to each other at the same second and hugged tightly. Tears started to run down her face and I noticed that my face was wet too.

"Oh Mary, I'm so sorry! Please believe me that I didn't mean any of the things I said, I was just so upset," she said in a rush. I nodded vigorously.

"Oh me too Lily! I would never think such awful things about you. I just wanted to hurt you because I was feeling horrible and insecure. Will you forgive me?"

"Yes! But only if you forgive me!!"

We laughed and hugged again.

"Oh we are awful aren't we?" she said with a giggle as we sat on her bed.

"We really are," I agreed with a smile. "But look, Snape is threatening to sleep outside the portrait hole unless you go talk to him…"

Her eyes went dark. "Oh dammit. I really don't want to deal with him anymore. He's changed so much you know??"

I nodded but said nothing as she looked conflicted.

"Oh sod it…I want to talk to you. We need to catch up!!" she said.

I shook my head. "You need to deal with this Lil. I can tell".

She smiled and hugged me again. "Alright, but I'll be back ok?"

"I'll wait for you downstairs," I said and we happily went down together. Her expression started to get nervous as we neared the portrait though.

"Blimey, I really don't want to talk to Severus now…" she said, biting her lip. I saw James' head prick up and he was watching very carefully. He seemed suddenly relieved that we were speaking again and he and Sirius exchanged a look. James also however looked very concerned that Lily was going outside to talk to Snape anyway. As she left, I felt bad for her having to deal with the wretched boy, but a huge weight was lifted off me. I was so happy we were friends again!

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Prongs won't shut up. I'm not even joking, he hasn't stopped muttering to himself ever since Lily apparently went outside to talk to Snivellus. That was twenty minutes ago. I don't know why he's so upset. Lily isn't even friends with him anymore and even if she was, Snape is so unattractive, she'd be crazy to be interested. More about me though. Lily and Mary seem to be friends again. I'm glad. That means I can finally start addressing our relationship and sort this bollocks out. I've seen stupid Richard Davies flirt with her all week. There have been rumours that she's going to Hogsmeade with him. I doubt their true though, she's still with me isn't she? I've tried to be polite and start from the beginning like Evans said. I've been just asking her how her day was, checking in with her…I used to do that with Kerry when I liked her. Just showing her I was interested and making sure everyone knew about it. Most people know anyway because apparently Evans spilled the beans about us keeping it a secret for so long. But I want Mary to know that I really do like her and am willing to show anyone who cares! True, I haven't really said anything of substance since Arithmancy, but for one, I didn't want to get in the way of her already bad moods because she wasn't talking to Evans and two, I said I was still there for her, willing to wait until she was ok. Now, it's time. Time to finally get her to be my girlfriend. Time to finally be happy! I laughed to myself and then noticed that James had stopped muttering and my friends were looking at me with their eyebrows raised.

"Uh mate? You look positively giddy…" James said with a confused smirk. Merlin knows how he managed that.

"Oh I'm just thinking about asking Mary to Hogsmeade this weekend" I said with a sheepish grin. I was surprised to see them all exchange looks and look at me worriedly.

"Do you think that's the best of ideas mate?" Moony asked tentatively.

"Sure, why not? I'm not going to be an arse about it…" I replied.

"But..mate…what about…" Wormtail didn't finish his sentence, he looked completely frightened of me for some reason.

"I know she slapped me last time, but that's because I kissed her…I'm going to be very polite and respectful…" I said rolling my eyes.

"What about Richard Davies though?" Wormtail said, wincing as he spoke.

"What about that git? He's too smarmy for his own good. It'll be nice to take him down a few pegs" I said with a laugh, looking at Prongs for approval. He didn't return my grin, instead he said the words that made me utterly livid. He paused, seeing Lily return to the common room looking rather annoyed and sitting with a concerned Mary. She looked so cute with that concerned expression on her face.

"Padfoot?" Prongs said, snapping us both from our gazes. "You know that Mary's going to Hogsmeade with Davies right?"

And that's how I ended up here. Glaring at a shocked Mary saying,

"Nice to bloody know I mean absolutely nothing to you. Enjoy your sodding date."

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_**A/N: Wow, that was much shorter than I thought it was going to be. I felt a little disjointed writing this chapter, maybe thats why I ended it so quickly. Hope it was ok anyway! Please review Lovelies!**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews!! Hopefully has fixed whatever problems they had and you will get alerts of my updates and I will get your reviews sent to my e-mail!! I had some trouble writing Mary's POV in this chap, but had a lot of fun with Sirius'. Hope you enjoy!!**_

* * *

Just Friend

**MARY POV**

Bloody Sirius Black. What the hell is he playing at? I haven't a clue what's wrong with that childish, silly, immature, confusing, beautiful, HORRIBLE boy! How am I meant to enjoy this "sodding date" now? He has absolutely no concern for my feelings that one. I am so done with him! Let him sit and wonder how everything got so messed up! I hope he's sodding jealous.

Marlene helped me with my hair today but I decided not to load on the make-up. If Richard doesn't see me for who I am then sod it. Sod everything.

_Can you tell I'm frustrated?_

I ignored the angry looks Sirius was sending my way and smiled at James, Remus and Peter. Of course, James made his way over to Lily and me and I was happy to note that Sirius looked rather pissed off.

"Alright Mary?" he said politely before turning to an extraordinarily slightly pink, Lily.

"Go to Hogsmeade with me Evans" he said in a routine sort of way.

"No thank you Potter" she replied rather politely and he shrugged before waving at us and going back to his friends. Nothing was hiding the enormous grin on his face though. It was almost as if she'd said yes.

"That was rather nice of you Lily" I said, surprised.

She shrugged. "Yeah, well. He was more polite than usual and he's not such a git anymore, right?"

"Not a git at all" I agreed with a smile. We headed through the corridor to the entranceway with the Marauders a few feet behind us. I tried to ignore Sirius' angry looks the best I could but I was starting to get nervous about seeing Richard, which didn't help.

"Mary" Sirius hissed in my ear just as we were about to turn the corner towards the group of people waiting to go to Hogsmeade. He held my arm, gently but at the same time it didn't feel like he was going to let go anytime soon. The rest of the lads walked by without a second glance but Lily hung back looking at me. I gave her a nod.

"It's ok, I'll catch up with you in a second" I said with a smile.

She looked unsure but nodded. "Ok, I'll be with Marlene and Dorcas" she replied before giving Sirius a warning look. He shrugged and nodded at her. It was almost as if they were having a silent conversation with their eyes. She hung back for just another second, giving my other arm a squeeze and then left. Sirius and I were alone in the corridor. This couldn't be good. So many terrible things happened when we were alone. I felt my heart flutter in my chest as he looked at me through those stormy grey orbs. Those eyes could melt the meanest of Slytherin girls, I'm sure of it. Well, Regulus Black has the same eyes and I'm pretty sure he has just as many girls after him.

"Mary" he repeated, regaining my attention.

"What?" I replied bluntly. I didn't want to let him know how I was feeling. Let him wonder what was going on in MY head for a change.

He looked offended. "Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"Doing what?"

"You know what! Going out with Davies to make me jealous!" he replied impatiently. The nerve of that boy, honestly.

"I am not trying to make you jealous thank you very much! No one else asked me to Hogsmeade and he's a nice guy" I said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I would've! I would've asked you!" He said looking incredulous.

"Well you didn't"

"Mary, you were having a fight with Lily for one and for another, it's not just that simple. If I had asked you, you would've said no!"

"What makes you think that!?"

"Well, you slapped me when I kissed you!"

"In FRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL SIRIUS!" I yelled, unable to hold in my feelings anymore. He looked surprised at my outburst.

"You kissed me to make it all better…you didn't even TRY to make sure I still wanted to be with you!"

"Well I thought you did! Have I really become that repulsive to you?" He asked, his voice dropping suddenly.

I shook my head. "Oh Sirius. You could never be repulsive to me. I just wanted to know I was worth something to you" Dammit, I'm telling him everything I wanted him to work for!

"You are Mary. You're the only one," he said grabbing my arms and trying to pull me into him.

"Well if that's true….then maybe it was just bad timing…we…we're bad timing" I said, stammering.

"You don't mean that" he said, shaking his head.

"I do Sirius. I think…I think we should be friends"

His face looked like I'd just told him James was dead. I don't know why I said that. I could never just be friends with him! He was the one I wanted, the one I knew I wouldn't be able to live without. I prayed for him to disagree. For him to tell me that he couldn't just be friends with me. I wanted so bad for him to tell me he felt the same way as my gut was telling me on the inside.

"If that's what you want" he said looking at his feet.

"It is" I found myself saying even though I felt faint. Had I really just lost it all?

"Well you should go meet Davies, I'm sure he's wondering where you are" he said, not looking at me.

"Yeah" I said quietly. We walked in silence together, breaking apart as I walked over to Richard and my friends who he was talking to and Sirius wordlessly went to the Marauders. As Richard presented me with a small bouquet of roses, I hugged him but watched Sirius over his shoulder. James and Remus were probing him for details but he was shrugging his shoulders. There was even a smile on his face. I couldn't quite read the expression but it was either an extremely bitter smile or a completely uncaring one.

Who knows which one was which?

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Friends. Just friends.

WHY THE HELL WOULD I NEED ANOTHER FRIEND!? I've got enough haven't I? The Marauders are plenty! And then silly little Evans is a friend I suppose. I most definitely did not want Mary to be my friend. In fact I wanted the exact opposite! Alright, well not the exact opposite, I didn't want her to be my enemy. But I wanted very much to NOT be friends. Couldn't she sodding see that? What does it matter anyway? She wants to be my friend so I guess that's all I'll be. I'm going to have to blinking settle with being her ruddy friend. I'd never admit this to anyone but at the very least I was relieved I could still be close to her, talk to her every day. Even if I spent years yearning for her, at least she'd still be around. Blimey, I sound like I'm in a muggle romance novel talking like this. I really ought to start acting like myself again. I'm so sick of over analyzing everything! I've become a girl. I really have. Soon I'll be trying to decipher why Mary happened to not close her eyes when she was hugging Davies. And wondering why she was looking in my direction. Oh sod it, there I go again!

What I needed to do, was tail her. Watch her and Davies' every move. Make sure there was nothing going on between them! Well…I suppose I can't really do that. But I could stay in the know!

"Let's go lads!" I said rather cheerfully. Remus and James looked like I was sick. A second ago I had been glaring daggers at Mary and now I'm grinning? I'm sure they think I'm insane. As a matter-of-fact, perhaps I am insane. I really ought to get my head checked. It's time to make an appointment with ol' Dumbledore, I'm sure he could figure out why I'm bonkers.

"Sirius…"J ames began but stopped when he saw that Peter had strangely offered me his arm. Peter Pettigrew, one of my best mates…but also apparently the biggest git alive, had just thrust his arm out to me, waiting to hold it so that we could stroll through Hogsmeade together. What the hell is going on, I ask!

"Wormtail, have you lost your mind?" I asked rather conversationally. It made him feel stupid immediately. He glowed pink and walked slightly ahead of us. James, Remus and I exchanged looks before James and I burst into laughter. Remus was hiding his smile out of his usual politeness but was not doing a good job.

"You lot are always so mean to me!" Peter complained.

I let James and Remus explain why while my eyes searched the dispersing crowd for Mary and Davies. They were headed to the tea shop. Oh bloody hell, there's no way four lads can go in there without dates.

"Fancy a coffee lads?" I said, trying to hide my cringe as I cocked my head toward Madame Puddifoot's."

Moony raised an eyebrow, Wormtail looked thoughtful but Prongs was laughing hysterically. "Go into that blinking place!? Without a date!? Have you been drinking Padfoot? Why didn't you share?"

I punched him but started laughing too.

"He clearly wants to stalk Mary" Remus said slyly, a smile playing at his mouth.

Peter gave an "Oh" of realization while James rolled his eyes.

"Padfoot, you have become a bit desperate, haven't you?" he teased. Suddenly his eyes became dreamy and I turned to see what he was looking at. Evans had dropped something and was now in the process of picking it up. She was bent at the waist and her rather short skirt was threateningly nipping at her thighs, but at least refused to ride up. I noticed a bit of drool forming at the corners of Prongs' open mouth.

"I'd say that you're desperate too...but, nice," I commented as the tiniest flash of Evans' white underwear showed as a breeze ran through the air. Immediately Prongs' eyes were glaring at me dangerously.

"Oh come on!" I said in disbelief and he relaxed. Suddenly Evans was standing next to us, McKinnon and Meadowes close behind.

"Will you please refrain from ogling my bum every chance you get Potter?" she said with an edge to her voice. He turned bright red. Something Prongs never does, so I was rather thrilled.

"Nice knickers Evans," I said with a playful smirk, thoroughly enjoying myself as James went a brighter shade of red and Lily's cheeks pinkened. She opened to her mouth to speak but I cut her off,

"Uh-ah, ah! You really ought to wear a longer skirt if you don't want lads to notice when you bend over".

"Shut up Black!" she said turning away.

"Anyway girls, fancy coming into Puddifoot's for a coffee?" I asked pleasantly. They looked at me with suspicious faces.

"You…want to go into Madame Puddifoot's?" Dorcas asked slowly.

"With us? Girls who clearly are uninterested in any of you?" Marlene finished rudely but honestly.

"Is it a crime? To want to spend some time with the Gryffindor girls?" I asked innocently.

"Are you quite sure, it's not to keep an eye on a certain someone, who's on a certain date?" Lily said, a smile playing at her lips.

Seeing it, I smiled too. "Oh yeah, I noticed Lindsey Jones in there with Amos Diggory and thought I ought to see how it goes" I joked making the girls laugh because I'm sure they knew the truth.

They all looked at each other, speaking with their eyes as girls are so skilled at doing. They then all turned to me with dazzling smiles and said,

"Oh we're in!"

I clapped my hands together in delight and turned to Peter, catching him in a sort of jig. "Petey! I got you a date!!"

The girls glared at me as Peter whooped and cried for joy. I smiled lazily. It was so fun making fools out of people.

"Where's Remus got off to?" James said, finally finding his voice and looking around.

"Right here" Remus said as he walked back over to us. I noticed that he was with some girl I didn't know at all.

"Scarlett was going to join us" he said with a look which dared us to tease him. Moony never ever went out with anyone!

Everyone greeted her politely and she grinned.

"I haven't met you before, have I?" I asked, rather bored. I just wanted to go in and see Mary!

"Well I suppose being in your Arithmancy class doesn't count" she said, an eyebrow raised.

"Oh" was all I bothered to reply with. I then sauntered towards the entrance of the silly, overdone café with everyone on my heels and walked through the front door rather ceremoniously.

"Table for Eight please" I said to the waitress, but keeping my eyes on a very confused Mary who had looked up from her hands, which were still being clutched by an annoyed Davies, at us in shock.

I couldn't help but smirk.

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_**A/N: Well, well? Let me know what you think :)**_


	24. Chapter 24

_**A/N; Thank you my fantastical reviewers!! Here we go, another chapter hopefully to your liking. **_

* * *

Lots of Smirking

**SIRIUS POV**

Ignoring the searching look Mary had thrown me, I gazed around at the hideous decorations littering Madame Puddifoot's. I'd only been in here a couple of times. Kerry used to love it but Emmeline preferred the Hog's Head for some reason. She had a strange fascination for this bloke who's dressed up as a veiled witch.

"Nice decorations" I commented to the waitress, with a sarcastic smile at Prongs who barely noticed. He still doesn't seem to have recovered from seeing Evans' underwear. They are standing next to each other but you could probably fit a whole Peter in between them if you tried. The girls are now waving at Mary, giggling and she's smiling at them, rolling her pretty eyes. I smiled to myself thinking how pretty she looked, but suddenly felt rotten in my stomach as Davies brushed her hair off her eyes and regained her attention.

The waitress of course beamed at me and for some reason took my hand in order to lead us to our table. I sent a look of confused amusement at Remus who was for some reason glaring at me as Scarlett tried to get his attention. Oh bugger, I hope I didn't offend his date. Why didn't he tell us about her anyway?

I let the waitress fuss around me for a few moments as every sat down. "Coffees please" I said to her with a smile, my eye still on Mary.

"I'll have tea please" Scarlett spoke up and Dorcas agreed. After taking all of our orders, the waitress reluctantly left my side and I had plain view of Mary. Davies' was sitting with his back to me, which was awfully convenient. I ought to thank that waitress.

"I think they look cute together!" Scarlett commented, turning around and looking at what the rest of us were watching.

"She's too good for him," I said immediately. I was annoyed at the distraction because I was trying desperately to tune into Mary's conversation. Blinking Scarlett over here though, can't shut her gob.

"James, are you ready for the match next week?" Dorcas asked conversationally.

"I reckon so. I'm a little worried about our Seeker though. Honestly he's been driving himself insane studying for NEWTs so he really hasn't had a chance to dedicate himself in practice. I just hope he catches the Snitch before Davies" James said with a laugh, nudging me.

"I appreciate that mate." I thanked him with a smile. It's strange, I'd thought that I really would pretend to be Mary's friend, but I've decided…well, in the five minutes we've been here, that I will be her friend and not ask her out or anything, but I have no intention on giving up and I don't care who knows it. I saw Lily studying me intently, obviously trying to figure out what was up my sleeve but I wasn't bothered with that. Taking my eyes off Mary for a moment, I looked around the table. Remus was still glaring at me and Scarlett looked rather upset that he was ignoring her. She sadly settled for talking to Marlene and I shot him a confused look. I raised my eyebrow, trying to ask what was up. He sighed and discreetly sent a spell down the piece of parchment in his hands before tossing it to me under the table. I let Peter pick it up and hand it to me. Prongs read over my shoulder. The girls didn't seem to notice because they were now discussing the precise shade of Amos Diggory's eyes.

"Mr Moony would like to inform Mr Padfoot that Scarlett Judd thinks Mr Padfoot is rather good-looking and so of course, Mr Moony would like to also extend his sincere thanks for always getting the ladies."

I rolled my eyes and glared at him like he was stupid, sending a spell at the parchment and pushing it toward him. I'd written,

"Mr Moony, perhaps if you paid more close attention, you would see that while Miss Scarlett might find me attractive, she is very much smitten with you, despite the fact that you've been ignoring her this whole bloody time! Mr.Prongs and Mr.Wormtail agree with Mr.Padfoot."

Remus' mouth twitched into a smile and he looked at Scarlett sheepishly. She was refusing to look at him, but he could fix that.

"You ought to work on your third-person spell work Padfoot" he said out loud making me grin and roll my eyes before resuming staring at Mary. It was getting rather boring, but I needed to wait for the perfect moment to act.

"Why do you lot have those nicknames for each other?" Scarlett was asking.

"Another way for them to act exclusive?" Lily said with a smirk.

"Really, though…they don't make an ounce of sense!" Marlene asked interestedly.

"Moony…" I offered loudly with a grin. This would be fun. Remus is TERRIBLE at making up things on the spot. Lying about his condition, easy…but it took him a few ideas from the rest of us before he could tell everyone a fool-proof excuse. As an added bonus, my obnoxiously loud voice had sparked the interest of Mary and many others in the café. She seemed to have stopped listening to Davies and now our conversation. He had also turned around, looking at me, irritated. I smiled, and listened to Remus' explanation.

"Uh….well…Sirius is uh, Padfoot…because, um….he's really quiet when he sneaks in to the dormitory at two in the morning after he's been in the Owlery all night…" he smirked in a rather un-Remus like fashion and I was almost proud for a moment. Even though I felt a twinge of disappointment at the mention of our now non-existent Owlery nights, I was satisfied to see Mary turn pink and glance at an oblivious Davies.

"And uh..Pete is Wormtail because…um when he was younger his mum made him grow his hair into a rat tail" Remus said with a grin, starting to get comfortable with being in the spotlight. Everyone chortled at Peter who looked shocked. Me and James howled with laughter.

"And James…James is Prongs because when he ruffles his hair like that, it sticks up like two antlers!" Remus went on. James stopped ruffling his hair and looked embarrassed while the girls giggled happily.

"And why are you Moony?" Scarlett asked Remus with a flirtatious smile. He looked suddenly surprised and looked to James and I to save him.

"Rhymes with Loony…" I supplied quickly. "Loony, Moony Lupin". I saw that Mary had stifled a giggle and I sat around very pleased with myself as Remus sent me a grateful look.

My eyes turned to Mary again but she was looking at Davies who was pointing outside to where his friends where standing and waving at him. He was getting up and hurriedly saying something before dashing outside. I angrily saw him high-five his friends as they pointed at an unaware Mary but felt slightly guilty because it was more than likely we'd be doing that to Remus after he snogged Scarlett later.

Mary sat awkwardly, obviously waiting for Davies to return. I saw that she looked at her friends longingly and they sent her questioning and supportive looks. Now was my chance. Without a word, I stood and walked over to her, plopping myself down in Davies' vacant seat.

"Hello friend" I smirked.

* * *

**MARY POV**

"Sirius, why are you sitting here? Richard will be back in just a moment!" I said giving him a pleading look. I tried to ignore the fact that while my stomach had been behaving quite normally this whole time, it was now churning and fluttering and rolling over as he sat and smirked at me.

"Oh, well he really shouldn't be leaving you sitting alone" he replied nonchalantly.

"He only went out to talk to his friends, he's meeting up with them later" I explained, trying desperately to hide my embarrassment.

"Git, couldn't bother spending the day with you? That's a bit rude, innit?" Sirius said, lifting his arms and stretching over the back of the chair.

"No. I wanted to hang out with my friends too," I said, voice quiet as I watched the smallest sliver of his stomach show at the bottom of his shirt as he stretched. It was so toned and smooth. It was everything I could do, not to reach over and touch him. He straightened his t-shirt and looked at me with a smile.

"He's not good enough for you love," he said running a hand through his gorgeous mass of thick black hair.

"Sirius!" I warned. "You said we were just friends…"

"Exactly, and as you're friend I chose not to beat him to a bloody pulp and instead tell you that you can do much better".

"Who's better then?" I challenged, willing him to say himself. He paused, his grey eyes light and amused. Only one of two storm clouds remained.

"I don't know…I'm not a bird am I? You'll need to run that one by Evans…"

"Look, can you please leave Sirius…I'll see you later!" I begged, trying to get him to go. Richard looked like he was about to come back in.

"Nah, I rather think I won't," he said, leaning back and making himself comfortable as he looked at me. "I never got a chance to tell you that you look gorgeous today," he said making me blush.

"Stop it! That's not true…I barely put any make-up on and…"

"You don't need it. I've told you that before" he said firmly making my legs tremble under the table.

"Sirius…." I said quietly.

"What's going on here?"

Richard was back, standing next to Sirius who refused to acknowledge his presence. Richard looked like he was trying to appear amused, but I could see the twitch of a frown forming on his handsome face as he looked at Sirius.

"Black! Why don't you go back to your friends and stop bothering my date" Davies warned in a tough, but rather pompous voice.

Sirius looked up slowly as if he was surprised someone was speaking to him.

"Oh hello Davies, I was just keeping Mary company while you abandoned her" he said lazily as if this was the first time he'd noticed Richard was there.

"I didn't abandon her!" he snapped as a smirk played at Sirius' mouth. "She didn't mind I was gone for a moment…you didn't mind did you?" he said snapping his head toward me. I shook my head trying to look apologetic.

"You really ought to take better care of impressing someone so much better than you Davies" Sirius said standing up and grinning at him. It was perhaps more annoying than it would've been if he'd acted mean and threatened him. I wanted so badly to laugh, but I felt obligated to give Sirius a disapproving look.

"See you later love," Sirius said turning to me with his dazzling smile. He gave me a little wink and went back to our friends. As Richard settled himself back down, muttering incomprehensibly, I saw that they were paying. They passed us on the way out. Sirius gave Davies a sarcastically friendly smile and walked out first. The Marauders smirked at me playfully and my friends and Scarlett from Arithmancy waved at me. Lily said they were going to Honeydukes but we ought to meet for a drink in the Three Broomsticks when I was done. No one except Sirius had acknowledged that Richard was there. I suppose I ought to be angry or upset with them, but I don't much care suddenly.

"Finally! Now that they're out of our hair! I have you all to myself!" Richard said, his clammy hands clutching at mine.

"Right" I said awkwardly, looking out of the window, completely uninterested in his Quidditch talk and how he was sure to make Head Boy next year.

* * *

_**A/N: I really enjoyed writing Sirius from Mary's POV in this, I think he's become even more attractive now that she knows him but they aren't necessarily involved anymore. Please reviewwww!! I'm also thinking of writing a little L/J one shot, what do you think? Will you read it? :)**_


	25. Chapter 25

_**A/N: Sorry, I've been MIA for a bit, I've been sort of busy but I left you a particularly long chapter to make up for it! :) Also, I've started a new L/J fanfic which I think is rather promising, so please check it out. It's called Annoyingly Persistent and the chapters are short but its fun. Let me know what you think about it and also this chapter. You guys are awesome as always. Thanks for being patient :)  
**_

* * *

Leaving For Christmas

**MARY POV**

Richard Davies is a git. But at least he's a git that fancies me. I mean yes, he never holds open doors for me and barely pays attention to a thing I say when he's with his friends…but he holds my hand in the corridors and calls my friends by their first names. Sometimes he spends more time looking in the mirror fixing his hair than I do but he's well handsome. Also, it's only been a week…I really ought to give him the benefit of the doubt right? I wonder how the winter holidays will be, now that we're together? They start tomorrow and we're all really antsy during class. At least there's only Potions before we end the day.

"I can't wait to go home!" Lily muttered as we left Transfiguration. She's had some trouble with that class lately and McGonagall had just told her she ought to ask James for help since he's top of our class.

"Like, I'd really ask Potter for help…honestly!" she continued as we walked along the corridor. "I'm perfectly capable of getting by without him! I don't need him for anything else, why would I possibly need him for this!" she said angrily. Just then, Potter brushed by us without a word. Lily looked rather stunned at his lack of acknowledgement but I was preoccupied by someone else tapping me on the shoulder. Sirius.

"Hey Mary" he said with a pleasant smile before touching my arm lightly and following James into the classroom. How is that the slightest touch from Sirius makes me shiver but when Richard kisses me I just feel awkwardly bored. It's the little things like that which make me smile. I had barely said anything to him in Transfiguration but he wasn't irritated, he just wanted to say hello when he got a chance.

"Mary!"

I turned and saw Richard standing there looking cross.

"Hi Richard" I said with a smile.

"Why didn't you wait for me outside the Transfiguration classroom? I always walk you to class" he demanded. I felt rather confused. He walked me to class when we bumped into each other, but I didn't know I was meant to wait for him to do so.

"Oh…I didn't realize," I said glancing at Lily who had an eyebrow raised. She looked back at me and said,

"Well, see you inside Mary".

"Bye Lily" Richard said impatiently and saying her name with a slight roughness. My thoughts wandered to the way some people said "Evans" in a kind tone and immediately made a comparison.

"I need to talk to you before we leave tomorrow" Richard continued when Lily had gone inside.

"Oh alright Rich. Should we talk after dinner?" I asked.

"No, I'll sit with you at dinner and we'll talk then" he stated simply.

"I guess that's ok" I said my mind dashing to a typical night in the Great Hall and wondering if the Marauders would still sit with us if he was there.

"Good" he said before wrapping an arm around me and kissing me chastely on the cheek. I sighed and he grinned in response before taking off around the corner. If only I was sighing because the kiss made me feel something. It wasn't bad but it wasn't good. I just felt nothing. I walked into Potions and sat down. Sirius, James and Remus were nearby and surprisingly things were very quiet. Usually when its just them and Lily, she and James are arguing their bloody heads off.

"Hi" I said to them all as I took my place.

"Excited about the holidays Mary?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, I can't wait to go home and take a break!" I replied with a small smile.

"A break from what?" James asked without even a glance at Lily. I noticed she looked confused, but didn't comment on it.

"Oh life at Hogwarts in general I suppose" I said even though I really meant Richard and Sirius and everything!!

"Yeah, it's been a rough term" Sirius spoke up with his easy smile. My heart sank. Nothing in his tone was ever important anymore. At least when we were arguing he sounded like he was a little nervous…or at least sounded like he cared.

"Have you lot managed the new Transfiguration spell? I need to get it right before I leave and forget everything" Lily spoke up.

"I'm still working on it" I replied with a shrug.

"I haven't really tried" Sirius said in an uninterested tone.

Remus laughed. "Don't ask me. I've apparently become a bit pathetic at Transfiguration".

We laughed and Lily tried but looked uncomfortable.

"What about you Potter?"

"Yeah" he replied stiffly.

"Oh" Lily said looking down.

"I can help you if you want" he said hesitantly.

Lily flushed. "No, no that's quite alright, I just wanted to make sure everyone else was having trouble with it too".

James laughed in a bitter sort of way and said nothing as he turned to the front.

Sirius met my eyes and he smirked at me knowingly. My stomach flipped over. I really ought to see if that's something wrong with my digestive system.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Potions was uneventful until the end when Prongs and I whooped for joy. I can't wait to go back to the Potter's and eat some of Margaret's famous bangers and mash. My mouth was watering as I thought about this and Peter gave me a strange look.

"You hate liver," he said, to which I looked down and sighed. Liver for dinner. Hogwarts hits some out of the stadium but others…complete miss.

"Euch, so do I" Mary said in disgust as the rest of our friends dug in. I looked at her across the table, her face contorted in dismay, and couldn't help grinning. I've been doing that a lot. Since I can't tell her how beautiful I think she is anymore, I've just started smiling at her everytime I notice how adorable she looks doing something. Dipping her quill in ink; Flipping aimlessly through her textbooks, smiling at Moony…oh bloody hell I've become Prongs. Next thing you know I'll see her throw up and think how wonderful she looks all sweaty and pale. I clicked my tongue in disgust at the thought and looked at Prongs who was eyeing Evans from the corner of his eye. She had her mouth full of the disgusting liver but was also laughing at something McKinnon had said. She was trying to cover her mouth but a piece sprayed out and on to her plate before she got the chance. I saw Prong beam at his plate, obviously thinking this was the cutest thing he'd ever seen and grinned to myself. Good to know, we're all barking mad. My grin immediately fell off my face as Davies sat down right next to Mary. I saw that she was now uncomfortably trying to cut her food but his body kept getting in her elbow's way. He was also kissing her cheek and I noted that she barely looked up. Her eyes met mine and she glowed a slight pink but that gave me hope. If she had to look at me when the bloke she's seeing is kissing her, I still had a chance.

"Lily, Marlene, Dorcas" he said formally and they all smiled back rather weakly. He then turned to the Marauders with a fake smile plastered on his stupid face.

"Oh hello boys".

Who the hell does he think he is? Slughorn?

"Mary, anyway I needed to talk to you" he was saying loudly, talking over the other conversations our group were having. Annoyed, the others stopped talking and tried not to listen. I, on the other hand openly watched as Mary prodded at her liver and said,

"Hmm...?" rather distractedly.

"Stop playing with your food! Listen" he said sharply.

She stopped and turned to him. I narrowed my eyes threateningly but he didn't seem to notice.

"What's wrong?" she asked in her concerned way.

"Nothing, I just think we need to talk about us…in context of this holiday."

I exchanged looks with Evans and both of us seemed to look wary.

"What do you mean?" Mary asked.

"Well since we've only been together a week, I think we ought to not be exclusive until we come back…"

The git. The stupid git.

"Well…ok. But who would we possibly meet during this holiday anyway?" Mary tried to joke in a light tone. I could see the crinkle in her forehead though and she was anything but amused.

"Oh I don't know about you, but there's this muggle from home who I always see during holidays from Hogwarts" Richard replied taking a bite from her plate. She looked at this in slight annoyance but she nodded,

"So what you're saying is…you want to be able to see anyone you want, but don't expect that I will" she said slowly and quietly. She was embarrassed he'd brought this up in front of everyone. I knew it.

"Yes! I knew you'd understand love. You must understand how difficult it is for me to get into a relationship when I have been used to being with whoever I want for so long."

"You're a git Richard" she finally said and he opened his mouth in shock. A glob of food fell out on to his arm. She looked at it in disgust before continuing, ignoring the whispers and slight laughter coming from my friends.

"See whoever you want. I will too and then we come back, I'd rather not see you ever again" she said matter of factly before eating a spoonful of peas.

"What…no, we aren't breaking up! I just wanted a break" he said, now lowering his voice embarrassedly.

"Well, I wanted to break up. Now sod off, you're ruining my dinner" she said, picking up another spoonful.

He looked speechless. The rest of us were at the verge of laughing. Suddenly someone a few people down, let out a huge guffaw of laughter and the rest of the Gryffindor table joined in. Davies looked around in astonishment before blindly getting up and going toward the curious Ravenclaw table, thinking better of it and leaving the Hall altogether.

"Thank goodness you've gotten rid of that git!" Lily said thumping Mary on the back.

"That was the ballsiest thing I've ever see you do" Marlene said, shaking her head with laughter.

"You were really, really funny" Dorcas said between giggles.

"Blimey Mary, you should've seen his face…he looked like he's swallowed a lemon and then was waiting to catch flies to get rid of the taste" Prongs said slapping his knee. Peter and Remus just laughed and soon the three of them were rehashing the argument, imitating Mary and Davies as the girls laughed in amusement. Through this all however, Mary had cast her large green eyes shyly up at me and given me the smallest of smiles. All I could do was grin back with happiness.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I'm finally going home!! After I broke up with that dumb toad, the rest of the day was a whirlwind and before we knew it, it was morning and those of us leaving were on the Hogwarts Express heading away for Christmas. I was really excited to get away from everything but at the same was sad I wouldn't see Sirius or his mates for a whole three weeks. I'm so used to seeing him everyday, eating dinner with them all the time, that it will be strange to have that part of my life missing. It seems like years ago that I hadn't said more than two words to him. Not only was I upset that I wouldn't see him. I was also worried that if there had been any tiny spark left between us left, it would soon fizzle out during the three weeks of separation. I would see Lily all the time I was sure and Marlene and Dorcas both live up the road from me, so it wouldn't be hard to meet up with them, but Sirius…the Potters lived in some small Wizarding village and it was very unlikely I'd see Sirius or his mates around London where I'd spend most of my time.

I didn't see Sirius at all that morning. I expect their train compartment must've been a long way from ours because I didn't even catch a glimpse of a Marauder through the ride. When we arrived Marlene and Dorcas found their families quickly and left, leaving me with Lily in Kings Cross. Both of our families are constantly late so we weren't worried. I tried to be discreet as my eyes searched my surroundings for Sirius. I at least wanted to say bye. Three weeks is a long time. Trying to think optimistically, I was relieved that at least it wasn't summer. Lily was humming some tune as we both sat on our trunks, waiting for someone to pick us up. She waved to Remus who grinned at us as he dashed by and hugged his mother in greeting. Good, if Remus was leaving, Sirius and James couldn't be far behind.

"Bye Moony!!" I heard a deep voice call and I grinned at the owner. James put his trunk down beside Lily and sat on it.

"No one here for you girls yet either?" he asked with a smile.

"Hopefully my mum'll be along in a minute" Lily muttered looking at the floor. He grinned at her, apparently not noticing her expression and started absent-mindedly humming the same tune she had just been humming.

"Stop it, you don't even know that song…it's a muggle one" Lily snapped and he shrugged.

"I don't know a lot of muggle music, but almost everyone knows 'I want to hold your hand,' Evans" James said rolling his eyes.

"Who's it by then?" she challenged.

"The Beatles" he said before looking out into the swarm of people, ignoring the embarrassed blush that had crept to her cheeks when she realized her immaturity. I smiled to myself. Sirius would be thrilled, he always thought Lily would fall for James eventually and I'm actually beginning to believe he's right. Speaking of Sirius…where was he? I thought he was going home with James.

"Where's Sirius?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant.

"The loo, I think…"James answered uncertainly, looking at someone in the crowd. "Isn't that your sister Mary?"

I looked up and saw Sarah approaching, beaming her head off. Grinning, I hugged her and when we separated she took a good look at me.

"Go on, let's have a look at you" she said, twirling me around. "Aw my little sister, all grown up".

"Oh shut up Sarah" I said blushing.

"Hiya Lily…need a lift?" Sarah said after kissing Lily's cheek in greeting. She looked longingly at us as she shoved James knee away from hers.

"Thanks, but my mum'll be along in a minute….hopefully" she said throwing James a cold look.

Sarah noticed this and broke into a grin when she saw James.

"Oh little James Potter…you are getting handsome aren't you?" she said with a smile.

James smiled and ruffled his hair a bit. "Hiya Sarah, alright?" he said in the deep, mature voice he used when he's trying to impress Lily.

"Yeah…wow I can't get over how much older you look" she replied, shaking her head. "Where's your partner in crime?" she asked, smirking at me slightly. I ignored this of course.

"Loo I think…Shame you didn't get to meet him" James said with a slight frown as his eyes scanned the crowd again.

"Ah well, it was nice seeing you anyway" Sarah said.

"It's always nice seeing you" James replied flirtatiously, turning back to her with a wink. I saw Lily look shocked and then a little annoyed, as Sarah threw her head back and laughed heartily.

"Still too young and still too in love with someone else to be flirting with me Potter," she replied, shaking her head and picking up my trunk.

Lily and James both blushed profusely and I laughed, quickly giving Lily a hug goodbye. I paused in front of James and then boldly hugged him too. He patted my back and gave me a small, somewhat reassuring wink, sensing I was upset Sirius wasn't around. I shrugged and followed Sarah, feeling still very disappointed that Sirius hadn't bothered to find me to say bye.

* * *

I walked in the door and my mum hugged me warmly before returning to the kitchen to talk to our House Elf.

"Oh Mary love, you have post" she called over her shoulder.

Post? I suppose it could be a Witch Weekly subscription form or something. Who else would send me post? I grabbed the letter on my way upstairs, noting the untidy black scrawl and feeling rather curious. I collapsed on to my own comfortable bed and ripped it open.

_"Mary,_

_I looked all over for you at Kings Cross and the just my luck when I find James he tells me he'd been sitting with you for the better part of ten minutes. We had a bit of fun messing with Evans though. She seemed very annoyed when James brought up the topic of your sister. Jealous d'you reckon?_

_Anyway, I decided to send you this letter because James and I are meeting Remus at Diagon Alley the day after Christmas to have a look round the shops. Petey stayed back at Hogwarts and it'll be lonely with just the three of us. I'm obligated as James' best mate to ask you to invite Evans too._

_Let us know if you feel like seeing us. I know I'll be downright gutted if I don't see you and your pretty little face for three weeks. I'll miss you Mary._

_Love,_

_Sirius."_

Be still, my heart.

* * *

_**A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! Let me know how I did and please have a look at my other story when you have a chance :) **_


	26. Chapter 26

_**A/N: Thanks for your great reviews!! I also appreciate those of you who've taken a look at Annoyingly Persistent, my new story. That one is already 8 short chapters written in the future, so you don't have to worry for a while about me spending time writing chapters for that and not this. This is still my baby! Oh I also realized a while ago that I'd been spelling McDonald wrong...maybe I mentioned this already, but anyway I've been trying to correct it ever since I realized. Mainly because after I noticed, a reviewer also pointed it out and I was a little embarrassed haha, thanks to them anyway. Ok, enjoy!!**_

* * *

The Leaky

**MARY POV**

The morning after Christmas, I woke up anxious. All the nervousness and wondering ,had my stomach quite unsettled ever since I left Hogwarts. With a trembling hand I'd penned the quick words agreeing to meet Sirius at Hogsmeade and then forced Lily to come with. She had complained and complained in all of her letters but she'd still agreed. Perhaps she knows I need her. I lay with my eyes open staring out of my window at the field that is our backyard. We have a fairly big house in a large wizarding town hidden amongst London. It's called Comstockton and the snow falls heavier here than anywhere else but Hogwarts. I think it's because Magenta Comstock, the witch who our town is named after was an experimental artist in the 30's and she purposely put a spell on the weather here, so she could make better snow angels as a project. Apparently our town in London is supposed to be one of the hippest Wizarding areas in England but I've always just called it home.

I was very comfortable lying awake in my bed watching the snow fall slowly outside between the glinting rays of the sun. It meant that everywhere else is London wasn't having much snow which meant Diagon Alley would be really busy today. I don't know why I'm so nervous, it's with all the lads and Lily…there's nothing to worry about right?

"Mary MacDonald! Wake up! Weren't you going to Diagon Alley this morning? Remember you have to call on Lily!!"

I said nothing ignoring the shouts of my mother. I felt as though I couldn't move, my heart was beating so unevenly. Suddenly Sarah burst in the room, freshly showered. Her long rich brown hair cascaded in waves down her back as she grinned at me. I groaned in response.

"Wake up you big lump. Aren't you seeing your boyfriend today?" she teased, sitting on the edge of my bed and waggling her eyebrows comically at me.

"He's not my boyfriend and I can't go. I feel ill," I replied in a muffled voice as I turned my head into my pillow to hide my flushed cheeks.

"Oh get up, we need to help poor Potter see Lily. Maybe that's what Sirius had in mind when he invited you both to meet up," Sarah said offhandedly as she rummaged around in my closet.

I shot out of bed in a panic.

"Do you honestly think that's the reason?? I knew it…of course he didn't want to see me. Well Lily will kill me if she finds out so I'll just Owl her and…."

I stopped mid sentence because I noticed that my dear sister was laughing hysterically into my favourite red jumper. I glared at her as she finally managed to speak.

"Oh, I knew that would get you out of bed. You dolt, of course Sirius wanted to see you. I can't imagine he'd have bothered asking about Lily unless Potter forced him anyway!" She grinned at me and I sniffed angrily, snatching my jumper from her hands.

"Don't drool on this!" I snapped and went in to the bathroom, slamming the door behind me as I heard her still snickering.

* * *

I touched my hair awkwardly as we sat in the car waiting for Lily to come out of her house. Sarah had styled it in similar waves to her own, except my hair is quite a bit shorter, so it felt strange. The little make-up I wore made me feel comfortable and even though I pretended to groan and grunt, I was happy that unlike Marlene my sister knew how to style me without scaring the poltergeist out of me! We were going in to Muggle London in a car because Sarah hates to apparate and didn't want to take both of us by side-long apparition. Lily lives just short of Surrey, so we went a bit out of the way to pick her up. After a few minutes of listening to Sarah absentmindedly drum her fingers on the steering wheel to some Celestina Warbeck number, I saw a flash of auburn hair running out to the car. Lily got in the back, breathing slightly heavily and muttered,

"Please, let's get out of here."

Sarah nodded and began to drive to the Wizard Highway so that we would end up entering whichever place we desired. How Muggles get on without Automatic Arriving, I'll never know.

"Petunia is such a prat. She kept making fun of me because I told Mum I had to go with you to see the Marauders. She keeps going on about how I love Potter," Lily groaned making me smirk.

"But, she also said that his hair makes him look stark-raving mad. At least we agree on something!"

"When did she see him?" I asked, surprised.

"Oh, when Mum dragged her to the train station to collect me."

"Can't imagine what she'd say if she saw Sirius!" I said with a laugh, my mind wandering to his long, disheveled hair.

"She'd probably love him. She fancies this lad in a muggle band, which has the same hairstyle as Sirius. I expect as much as she says she loves dear Vernon, she thinks she deserves much more!" Lily rolled her eyes and beamed out of the window as we arrived at a street in Muggle London. I expect she's never been on a Wizard Highway.

"You lot are so cute. All you can talk about are these boys!" Sarah said with a laugh.

"Shut up!" we both said, making her laugh harder.

She parked the car rather awkwardly but muttered a spell and it immediately became perfectly aligned with the others on the street. Blimey, I can't wait until I'm allowed to use magic out of school.

"I have to run into Madame Malkin's for a moment, so I'll walk you lot inside," she said as we all got out.

"Oh Sarah, can't you just go in another way?" I pleaded. I knew she just wanted to see the boys and embarrass us. Lily seemed to read my mind and nodded vigorously.

"No other way in except the Leaky," Sarah replied with slight glee.

"Bloody hell," I whispered to Lily as my sister walked ahead of us.

"This is going to be so bad…" she said back, shaking her head in defeat.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

"I really don't want to leave you two here alone," James' Mum was saying to us as we found a booth in the Leaky Cauldron.

"Mum, please we'll be fine! We're sixteen now," he added.

"You're not! Sirius is, but you're birthday's not until January," she snapped back, glancing around as if she thought the assortment of Ministry witches and wizards were the worst rif-raf she'd ever encountered.

"Come on Mrs.P, we'll be alright. I'll look after Jamesie, I've been by myself before."

That didn't seem to be the right defense because she started lecturing me.

"Sirius Black, now I know you had differences with your family which I perfectly appreciate but do NOT try to convince me to leave you alone when the last time you were by yourself outside of Hogwarts, I had to end up collecting you from the Auror office!"

I smirked at James. They'd caught me flying my motorcycle, which apparently is very illegal, but I've completely cleared my name by playing dumb, innocent teen. Also, I'm currently installing a invisibility spell on it, so I won't get caught when I'm flying. I may be reckless, but I sometimes think ahead. Besides, an invisible, flying motorcycle? Cool!!

"Mum, no one will hurt us, it's fine. You can stop worrying!" James looked anxious, like he was worried Lily would enter at any time and see his mummy lecturing him. I snickered but then thought about Mary seeing it too and immediately went sober-faced.

Mrs.Potter seemed to have finally given up. Probably because she's running late and needs to go prepare for her daily Tea Meeting with her friends.

"It's not that I'm worried about anyone hurting you. More worried for everyone else in Diagon Alley today," she lied, busying herself with her handbag.

"Fine, now…money?" she asked looking at us expectantly.

We shrugged in unison. We both had a bit saved from working at this Muggle chip shop but if we were going to pay for the girls too, we'd probably need more. We just felt bad asking, no matter how much money the Potter's have to shell out.

"Now, try not to spend it all in one go!" Mrs.Potter warned handed each of us a twenty pound note. We nodded solemnly and she clucked her tongue, looking at us fondly through her unruly mass of grey hair.

"Ok, give Mummy a kiss," she said moving her cheek toward us. Prongs and I exchanged embarrassed looks and both quickly pecked her on the cheek.

"Be good!" she said in a harsh voice before she went to the Apparating Lot.

James and I sighed with relief and quickly started to make fun of this bird sitting at the bar. She refused to drink her firewhisky herself and instead was making her House Elf tip the liquid down her open mouth.

"Sure that's not my mother?" I joked thinking of Kreacher. Sodding Elf probably would've whooped for joy at this task.

"Oh, I see it's not only James who's gotten more handsome," a voice said next to me. I shot my head up in confusion and saw the beautiful Sarah MacDonald standing grinning down at me. My eyes wandered past her, swiftly by a stunning red head and finally on my pretty, Mary. Her hair was all wavy and stuff and her eyes were sparkling, even though she was biting her lip shyly.

James and I stood up and I gave Sarah a peck on the cheek in greeting. We hadn't been close, but she dated Kerry's brother for a while. Not to mention, certain groups mingled with the same sort of groups in different Years, so we ran into each others circles a lot.

"Actually combed your hair for once? You never did that for Kerry did you?" she teased.

James guffawed with laughter and I rolled my eyes. I hadn't even combed it myself, I just happened to have had a crazy Mrs.P ravish it with a brush as we left.

"That's why Kerry only lasted six months," I replied with a smirk and glance at Mary.

"Blimey, was it that long? I only dated her brother for four."

"Yeah, well he was a complete git."

"Oh well, I'll leave you all to your little double date, I have to get going," Sarah said with a grin. She kissed James' cheek and they went a faint pink. Lily's face did not look pleased. But honestly, she's looked sour since she got here.

"It's not a date!" Lily hissed at her but Mary just went crimson.

Sarah rolled her eyes amusedly and then kissed my cheek again. She paused before leaving to say, "Sirius don't forget to take good care of my little sister!"

"Sarah!" Mary yelled in embarrassment, shoving her. Sarah didn't move, only smiled at me with a glint in her eye. I smirked back.

"I intend to keep her very safe, don't you worry." I barely glanced at Sarah as I said this and looked at Mary instead. She was trying desperately not to meet my gaze.

Sarah gave a tinkling laugh and nodded. "Bye girls, have fun!" she said before waggling her fingers at them.

"Bye," they replied dully and she left humming some daft tune.

"Hi," James said to Lily whose expression had now turned from embarrassment to anger.

"Where in Merlin's right sock is Remus Lupin? I thought he was meant to come too!" Lily demanded, hands on hips. I laughed inwardly. Of course Evans would figure our plan out.

"He had to stay at home for something," James replied, masking 'his furry little problem' vaguely as he sat back down.

Evans seemed to understand the reference because her face instantly looked sympathetic.

"Oh….well don't you lot think that this is a double date because it's nothing of the kind. Right Mary?"

"Right," she agreed pushing a strand of brown hair away from her eyes. I wished for a moment, I had been close enough to do that for her.

"We didn't think it was a date Evans," Prongs replied coolly as I joined him on one side of the table. He gestured toward the seats across from us,

"It is just four friends, looking around the shops together. Now are you going to sit or not?" he asked impatiently. Evans was still glaring at him and Mary was uncertainly looking at her feet.

"We won't bite, promise," I said cheerfully, elated when it made Mary's mouth twitch in to a smile.

"Ugh, I should hope not!" Evans said, sliding into the booth.

"Unless you want us to, of course," I finished cheekily as Mary joined her, facing me.

She laughed and kicked me lightly under the table. I grinned and settled my feet around hers. She reddened when she noticed, trying to move her feet, but I stubbornly refused to let go. Finally she decided to stop struggling and said,

"So how was your Christmas lads?"

* * *

_**A/N: Next chapter will be more about their Diagon Alley day and maybe a visit to Mary's house. After that I'll get them back to the school year, so we can get a move on with getting them together.**_

_** Review please and your name can be featured as someone the boys take a certain interest in!!**_


	27. Chapter 27

_**A/N: Oh my, I had such fun writing this chapter!! I didn't expect it would turn out this good, but I really think its one of the best in the story!! In reference to the choice of name for my mystery girl the boys spark an interest in...so many of you generously offered your names and were sweet enough to really want to be in it! I really appreciate your interest and promise not to do terrible things with the name I picked. I put all 12 names I received in a cup and drew out one to use. You will find out if it was yours when the time arises :) Thanks again for all your submissions! I think I'll do something like that again, it was fun! So if you weren't picked this time, maybe you will the next time?? Enjoy this...I really think it's good!  
**_

* * *

Lily has a bit of Whisky

**MARY POV**

We were left a little awkwardly, sitting there as soon as soon as Sarah left. Sirius had clamped his feet around mine playfully but I couldn't move them without an obvious struggle. His eyes only twinkled mischievously when I sent him a 'let me go please?' look.

Without anything left to say, I asked how their Christmas was. It seemed to have opened a floodgate.

"Bloody insane!" James replied rolling his eyes.

"Hey, I thought it was fun," Sirius said with a chuckle.

"What happened?" I asked as Lily refused to say a word and merely sipped daintily at her Butterbeer. I caught the disappointed look James threw her way but he recovered quickly.

"My mum throws these ridiculous parties every Christmas. Everyone from our town comes and gets absolutely pissed and then Sirius and I end up shut in with the house elves."

"And that was thrilling!" Sirius said sarcastically. "Of course mid-way James' Mum gets drunk too and she lets us mingle with the party. You have no idea how funny it is messing with the older ones minds!"

"Sirius, I had to discreetly obliviate three people you talked to because you told them that you were their son!" James replied in exasperation. I laughed at this, my leg twitching but Sirius held firm, slightly wrapped around my ankle.

"You obliviated people?" Lily asked, unable to hold her silence any longer.

"Well…I well, there was no other way. They frantically started rattling off a bunch of past or secret girlfriends and Sirius would lie and nod at some random name! He was driving them insane," James stumbled through this explanation, trying desperately to make sure Lily wouldn't be angry with him for using magic during the holidays illegally.

"No…I, I was just surprised you can do a Memory Charm Potter," Lily replied, her cheeks suddenly red. She took another gulp of Butterbeer and he looked like he didn't know whether to be offended of pleased.

"Slow down Evans, little girl like you probably has the tolerance of a House Elf!" Sirius said with a smirk. I tried very hard to laugh along but his leg was traveling lightly up one of mine, making me feel a little dizzy.

"I most certainly do not!" Lily said stiffly, knocking back the rest of the bottle. She looked slightly pink and said, "Order another, will you?"

Sirius raised his eyebrow, impressed. "Sure you don't want anything stronger?" he asked with another mocking smirk. His foot had stopped short of my thigh and it was now tickling me a little.

"Can you get anything stronger? We're not of age yet," Lily asked with a curious look. James looked surprised but said nothing.

"Oh I have a bit of pull with Tom. I stayed here for about three weeks when I ran away last summer," Sirius said looking out over to Tom and beckoned to him.

There was an uncomfortable silence as we all watched Sirius whisper something to Tom who grinned and walked back to the bar.

"Didn't your family want you back for Christmas?" I asked, hoping the question would shock him enough to release his playful feet from my legs. Evil, I know, but so is playing footsie with me when he knows how I feel about him! Well, at least I think he knows.

No such luck. While James and Lily looked at me with disbelief, Sirius just smiled softly.

"No, dear ol' Mum would never expect me back for Christmas. They'd be wasting their precious food on a blood traitor."

I nodded, a little stunned but squirmed a little as his foot resumed it's stroking.

"She's an old bat. Why don't you just move out permanently and come live with us!" James said, his tone worried.

"I suppose I will. Let's see how next summer goes. She keeps saying she's disowned me but I reckon I shouldn't leave until I've got some money of my own secured."

"So, you didn't leave for good then?" Lily asked, intrigued. "There were rumours flying about all year that you had."

"No, I haven't left for good. I still have some of my favourite stuff there. Like my motorbike. I can't leave that one behind!"

"But you said…" Lily began, glancing for the first time at Potter.

"I said Sirius had come to live with us this summer. He left when there was like a month left of the holidays," James explained.

"Yeah, well I've been planning it for a while. My uncle Alphard sends me money all the time but he's dying any day now," Sirius said with a bitter laugh.

"Oh Sirius," I said, feeling suddenly very sad and unable to stop myself.

He looked at me, a smile on his face but his eyes dark and troubled.

"Yeah well, here's hoping I finally get away from the old hag next time!" Sirius said, raising the glass of Firewhisky Tom had just brought. James and Lily nodded and each took a sip from theirs while I sipped my still half full Butterbeer.

"None for you love?" Sirius asked, his foot prodding my calf as he spoke.

I whimpered but covered it by shaking my head. "Nah, one will do me in!"

"I'll take it!" Lily said pulling the drink next to her. She was almost done with the first one.

James eyed her.

"Why are you so intent on getting sloshed Evans?" he asked with an eyebrow raised comically. There was something in his expression though that told me he was more worried than he was making out.

Lily drained the rest of her drink and winced as the liquid burned her throat. "Well I need something to help me deal with the fact that I'm here with you, don't I Potter?"

Her words stung. Sirius and I almost winced as James looked hurt. He nodded rather pathetically and just went back to his drink, no longer looking at her and instead becoming very interested in a tall Wizard's furry bear hat.

I snuck a look at Lily and she looked like she regretted it. She opened her mouth to say something but immediately shut it and started on my glass of Firewhisky.

"Drink that one slow Evans," Sirius warned in a light voice, but the dark undertone was clear. She glared at him and then accidentally knocked over her empty Butterbeer bottle.

"Ooops!" she exclaimed, blushing and ducked under the table. Within a moment we heard an "Oi!!" and a thunk as Lily hit her head on the table coming up.

"You two are playing footsie!" she said in awe and slight disgust. Our legs instinctively separated and while I glowed crimson, I saw that the faintest of pinks had reached Sirius' cheeks. I'd never seen him blush before, so I was more confused than embarrassed suddenly.

"You're playing footsie with her?!" James asked Sirius incredulously. The blush disappeared and his mouth curved into a nonchalant smile.

"Don't get any ideas Potter!" Lily said as she took another sip.

"I hadn't, thank you very much," he replied coldly and downed the remainder of his drink.

"On that note, we should probably get out of here," Sirius said, breaking the awkward silence that ensued.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

The Leaky Cauldron had been an utterly awkward experience for everyone. The only thing I enjoyed was the fact that even though I could barely feel it through my jeans, the softness of Mary's legs was a complete comfort. What is the girl turning me into? I'm making a mental note to ask Prongs if he feels the same way when he brushes past Evan's bare arm.

Speaking of Evans. She's not sloshed, but she's gone from being downright cruel to James to a bit friendly. She latched on to his arm the second we left the bar and was giggling as he walked along stiffly beside her. I can tell he's irritated. Not because she's drunk but because she's constantly toying with his emotions. He's been a bit standoffish lately because he's trying to show her he's matured. Of course she would take that as rude. Girls are downright balmy. Not my Mary of course, but all other girls. Because Lily was giggling and holding on to dear Prongs for support, Mary fell into step with me. It had been so easy striking conversation up in the bar when I felt in control, but now we fell into a strange silence. After walking around for about thirty minutes, stopping at random stores to window-shop, I spoke properly.

"Uh…so where d'you wanna go?" I asked, almost forgetting I had the power of speech and usually, the confidence of an International Quidditch Star.

"Um...I don't know. I suppose we could go to Flourish and Botts…and then if you and James get bored we could nip into the Quidditch shop."

Merlin I think I'm in love.

"Sounds good," was all I could say as I heard James now softly laughing with Evans who had been chattering his ear off the whole time. Of course he's forgiven her, she's bloody touching him!

"Honestly though Potter, I haven't a clue when it comes to Transfiguration. Maybe I could tutor you in Charms and you could help me with Transigration…oh bother that's not right," Lily said, slurring the last few words and then bursting into laughter again.

When I said she wasn't sloshed…right, I take that back.

"So it's Transigration you want me to help with. Well I'm awfully sorry Evans, but I haven't a clue about that!" James replied playfully, making me and Mary turn around and laugh.

"Always with the jokes, Potter. Have I told you, ever…that you are very, very funny?"Evans was looking up at him with her emerald green eyes and I could see that Prongs' smile had become very affectionate. Like someone whose just realized how in love they are with the person they're holding. He was holding her. His arm was around her waist, supporting her weight and she was clutching to it, fiddling with the sleeve of his t-shirt.

"No, unfortunately I've never really had the pleasure of hearing your praise," he replied quietly, looking at her. They'd stopped and were staring quite intensely into each others' eyes. Mary and I exchanged excited looks. Could this really be the moment?

"Oh…well I've always been a little, hey! Isn't that Remus!" Lily exclaimed, stopping her thought process and pointing to Flourish and Botts, which was many yards away. We turned to look and indeed saw Remus standing there looking rather pale and tired but dressed fairly smartly.

"That's strange…I thought he'd be staying at home all day…" I murmured looking over at an equally confused and worried Prongs.

"What d'you reckon he's doing? What time is it?" James asked glancing at us in an urgent sort of way. I knew why. He wanted to see if it was going to get dark any time soon. I glanced at the watch Uncle Alphard gave me for my birthday.

"It's only about three o'clock. Won't be dark for hours."

James nodded curtly at me and we were both instantly less worried but if possible even more confused.

"Wasn't he meant to be coming out with us?" Mary asked me. I looked over at her and even in all my puzzlement, I was enamored by the pale green eyes. Taking a second to relish them, I replied,

"Yeah, plonker told us, he was busy."

"Well why'd you reckon he was hiding this from us?" James asked.

Lily was looking impatient.

"Why don't we go and say hello!" she exclaimed, suddenly starting to yell. "HEY R-"

James clapped a hand on her mouth and the four of us hurriedly ducked behind a wall as Remus looked around suspiciously.

"This is so strange," I whispered realizing I was closer to Mary than I'd been in weeks. I was standing behind her, my body crouched to look around the corner, my mouth next to her ears. She closed her eyes and shivered. Or maybe she trembled. I can only hope.

"Wait, there's someone with him!" Mary said nudging into me a little. I slid a hand carefully down resting it on her waist. She didn't seem to object, so unconsciously my fingers rubbed small circles on her skin. She seemed to stiffen, but made no signs of moving as my breath became just a little heavier.

Wow, this is erotic for almost no contact at all!

"Hey! I know her! Cheryl Someone…" Lily said happily. She looked ready to shout again but quieted down at the look Mary shot her.

"Cheryl Goodwin," James confirmed grimly.

"Ravenclaw, Fourth Year," I added.

"The girl who rejected Petey," we said together.

"What?" Mary asked looking up at me. I gazed down at her and explained.

"Cheryl is the only girl who Pete ever had the courage to ask out. He was completely in love with her but she turned him down. She's decent, but none of us have spoken to her since."

"Except Moony apparently!" James said.

We watched in silence as Remus and Cheryl laughed together and continued their conversation. His face seemed to be lit up and the weariness that the full moon brought to him was diminished as he spoke to her. He seemed to be leaving and then something happened that not one of us were prepared for.

They kissed and it most certainly looked like it was not the first time.

"What the bloody hell…" James muttered.

"Oh my…" Mary whispered.

"Who would've thought!" I exclaimed softly.

And then, Lily threw up.

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_**A/N: Haha!! Review, please! I love you all :) Also, Annoyingly Persistent has a new chapter and Keeper vs Chaser does too!!**_


	28. Chapter 28

_**A/N: Thank you, thank you!! I love you all!! :) This chapter is a little odd and it randomly sidetracks, but I think it still pushes the story along a little. Don't take too much notice of some of the events, for the most part they are just a device to move the plot along and are unlikely to resurface. Thanks for everything, enjoy the chap!**_

* * *

The Reckless Danny Murray

**SIRIUS POV**

It was a strange ending to our day at Diagon Alley, as Prongs and I watched Moony leave Cheryl, and Mary soothingly rubbed Lily's back as she hurled all over side of the building we were hiding behind. I moved away from the wall, slightly disgusted but James just looked worried. He hesitantly scooted forward, closer to Lily who was coughing, red in the face and tears forming at her eyes. I knew the girl was a light-weight!!

Mary sent me a worried look and I spoke up,

"How're you going to get her home?"

Her eyes widened at the question and she looked frightened suddenly.

"Mary, don't worry…she just had too much to drink," I said, touching her shoulder.

"Watch her for a second James?" she asked before moving over to me.

"Sarah said to Owl when she wanted us to pick her up, but to give her half an hour's notice…should we take her to St. Mungo's?"

I laughed. "No, no, she'll just get in more trouble than its worth. Send the Owl. She'll be fine."

"Ok.." she said, hurriedly rummaging in her bag and pulling out a quill and a bit of parchment. She wrote quickly and furiously, sneaking glances at Lily who was now resting her head on James' shoulder. He hurriedly whispered Augmenti and also, Transfigured a rock into a glass, filling it with water. Taking it, she shivered.

"Oh Evans, what am I going to do with you?" he asked with a small shake of his head. He removed his jacket and put it around her shoulders which indeed was a chivalrous gesture because it was very steadily threatening to snow. Evans had sunk back against a wall looking pale and dazed. Even in her weak state, I felt annoyed at her. Why did she have to bloody go and throw up? Now my time with Mary had been cut short and I'd be blamed for Lily's silly misconduct. Selfish I know, but you have to be sometimes, don't you?

Mary was muttering spells to clean the vomit from the ground and soon she joined Lily, leaning against the wall. She had just sent off an Owl with her letter. It was lucky there were so many Post Owls flying around! Prongs looked at me and shivered a bit. He covered it quite nicely but I knew he was dying to go inside to the warmth.

"Well, Moony…what d'you reckon?" I said, trying to relieve the tense atmosphere.

James laughed. "Haven't a clue. Wonder how he's going to break it to Wormy".

"Oh that'll be nice. Poor Pete will run off into a corner and cry!" I said with a smirk and we both chuckled.

"You lot are laughing…laughing during my time of need!!" Lily spat as she looked queasy again.

"Oh…sorry Evans!" James said quickly but quietly.

I rolled my eyes. "Evans, no one told you to go down two Firewhiskys and a Butterbeer!"

"Ugh," was all she said as she closed her eyes.

Suddenly there was a crack and Sarah McDonald was back, a very amused smile on her lips.

"Oh Lily, what've you gotten yourself into love?" Sarah said with a smile crouching down and running some fingers through Lily's hair.

"Where were you?" Mary asked, confused at her quick arrival.

"Oh I ran into Gerry Bott and he asked me to have a drink with him. How on earth did you lot manage to get served alcohol?" she asked eyeing us.

"I have a bit of a pull…" I explained. She rolled her eyes in amusement and looked at Mary.

"Picked a good one haven't you Mary?" she teased.

"She didn't drink!" I said hurriedly in her defense.

"I'm sure she didn't. Mary'll be done after one! But its so cute of you to be concerned," she said with a little condescending wink. For the second time today my bloody face went pink and I felt very stupid. I looked away as Sarah spoke up.

"Blimey James, I know you're a gentleman, but your coat? Honestly!" Sarah said clucking her tongue and helping Lily to her feet. "Alright let's go back to the house. Mum and Dad are at a luncheon, so I'll be able to deal with this without them finding out…ok?" She looked at Mary and Lily who nodded meekly and then turned to us.

"Who's coming to collect you lot?"

"Oh…uh, my Mum said she'll be by at about six," James said embarrassedly.

"Well once we get to my house, you can Owl her and tell her I'll drop you home or to collect you from Comstockton," Sarah said briskly, supporting Lily on her arm.

"You live in Comstockton?" James and I said at the same time as he looked at Sarah and I looked at Mary. Comstockton is like the coolest place Wizards own! There's a bunch of famous people I love who all lived or live there.

"Yeah, I know, it's perfect," Sarah replied with a laugh.

"Here, let me take her…" James offered seeing the older girl struggle slightly.

"Thanks," she replied brightly, leading the way to her car. Mary and I walked in silence while James murmured something to Evans who still looked very out of it.

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**MARY POV**

"This is so cool," I heard Sirius whisper to James as we got out of the car at my house. They were looking at Magenta Comstock's memorial ice sculpture that was installed across from my house. There were a few of the more fashionable wizards sitting on the benches nearby smoking cigarettes, with long hair and fang earrings. I noticed that they also had motorcycles parked nearby and Sirius was watching longingly.

"They've lived down the road for years," I said to him, speaking for the first time since we left Diagon Alley. His focus switched and he looked at me instead, seemingly enthralled by my every word. My town was definitely the place Sirius felt he was meant to live in.

Meanwhile, Lily was completely out of it. She was dozing in James' arms looking rather peaceful. I feel like she secretly was enjoying this and just didn't want anyone to know she wasn't nearly as drunk as she had been previously.

"Here, James let's take her inside. Why don't you two go for a walk?" Sarah said to Sirius and I, her eyes sparkling.

"Uh…" I stammered, wondering if he'd agree.

"Brilliant!" he said with a little glee and grabbed my hand as we walked toward the sculpture.

I blushed at his touch but he was too excited to notice.

"Magenta was a genius, wasn't she?" Sirius muttered as we stood in the snow, holding hands and watching the abstract ice sculpture sneeze a shower of snowflakes on to us. He laughed and squeezed my hand and I said nothing, just concentrating on the way his fingers entwined perfectly with mine.

"More bloody tourists," I heard the most handsome of the group of boys mutter. "Oh hang on, isn't that Mary MacDonald?" His icy blue eyes glimmered when he saw me. Danny Murray from Forty Two Magenta Road had practically grown up with me. I'd had a giant crush on him for most of my life, until of course Sirius Black entered my line of vision.

"Hello Danny," I said tiredly. He knew he was hot. He also knew how much I'd liked him. He turned me down as soon as he found out. I never quite recovered from the confidence blast. Maybe that's why I'm so shy now.

"You know him?" Sirius whispered. I could see that he was slightly impressed by the older boy. The fang hanging from his ear was sharp and black and he was as haughty looking as Sirius himself. He wore a leather jacket and blue jeans, his tight white t-shirt skimming the waistband. I glanced over at Sirius, dressed similarly minus the jacket and the fang earring and instead adorning a fitted, red windbreaker.

"Who's your friend Mary?" Danny asked mockingly. He seemed equally but grudgingly impressed by Sirius but at the same time had a look, which dared him to challenge him.

"This is Sirius Black, he goes to Hogwarts with me," I replied, giving away as little information as I could.

"Who are you?" Sirius asked in a cool voice, one which would make me tremble in ordinary circumstances, but suddenly I was feeling very tense.

"Danny Murray, I'm a Seventh Year at Durmstrang."

"What's that like? All Grindelwald fanatics?" Sirius asked, boredly.

"Some." Danny looked very interested in the fact that we were holding hands and I instinctively tried to let go of Sirius' grasp. He was having none of it, however. I could tell he was intrigued by my childhood acquaintance and wanted to test him.

"That yours?" Sirius asked nudging his head slightly at the motorcycle parked nearby.

Danny smirked. "Yeah, like it do you?"

"It's alright, I have a…"

They spewed off into motorcycle talk and I lost track of what was going on. I wanted desperately to make Sirius come inside. I didn't want to see him befriend the boy who'd rejected me. My ears pricked up at the sound of my name.

"…whatever. So, Mary...you've gotten rather gorgeous since I last saw you." Danny was mocking me. I know he was.

"No, I haven't."

"Tried hard for your little boyfriend here?" he sneered. Why did he seem angry? He'd never liked me anyway. Boys are the worst. They always want you when you have no interest anymore. And, I didn't look any different. Maybe I take a little bit more care of my hair and caution with the small amount of make-up I wear, but nothing had really changed dramatically with my physical appearance. Perhaps my demeanor is different? I have become more confident lately after having dated Davies and Sirius.

"He's not my boyfriend," I replied, glancing at Sirius who didn't say anything. He was just looking at Danny with contempt. Oh good, they weren't getting along. They seemed to be challenging each other with their eyes. Oh, well I suppose that's not very good either, is it?

"Well then, why don't you and I go get sloshed at the pub when the tourist goes home?" Danny said and his friend laughed.

I didn't know what to say, I just blinked but reacted to Sirius' hand squeezing mine tighter. Oh, he still hasn't let go then?

"She's not going anywhere with you," Sirius said in a protective tone. While I was confused about the possessiveness that seemed to have ensued, I was also intrigued by the fact that he cared so much. All thoughts of Remus and Cheryl and James and Lily vanished. All I saw was Sirius Black acting like I was his girlfriend and Danny ought to back off.

"Can't please her can you? I suppose that's why you haven't been able to call the little nobody your girlfriend yet eh?" Danny teased, mocking Sirius. Sirius kept a straight, calm face as he watched him.

"Don't talk about her like that," he replied simply, ignoring the attack on him and jumping to my defense.

"Why not? She's always been a bit loose and desperare, haven't you Mary? Throwing yourself at me every chance you get?"

Now, that was a blatant lie! I most certainly did not throw myself at him, ever! I was far too innocent back then. For goodness sake, my first kiss was only a few months ago!

"Don't lie. And I'm warning you, don't talk about her like that," Sirius said stiffly, dropping my hand and drawing his wand.

Danny's eyes were mocking still. "Going to duel me are you Amateur? Why not solve things the old fashioned way?"

"Which is?" Sirius asked coldly, his jaw tight. Oh Merlin he's so gorgeous. How I could've ever thought about Danny when Sirius Black was alive, I'll never know. Danny was fit, yes but Sirius was fit and caring. And that, made all the difference.

"A race. You get that Motorcycle you were talking about and race me around the village. For your girlfriend's honour."

Sirius looked as if he thought this idea was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard and I half expected him to roll his eyes and throw a jinx Danny's way.

When Sirius said nothing, Danny spoke to me.

"Where's that gorgeous sister of yours? I'm sure she'll want to come out with me. It's not the first time!" he said with a cruel laugh as his friend chuckled happily.

"Stop it. Fine. We'll race. Give me twenty minutes," Sirius spat. He stuck out his wand arm and the Knight Bus appeared. He said nothing to me and his stormy grey eyes met Danny's icy blue ones with such bubbling anger, I thought they would explode from the intensity. When the Bus disappeared, I was left alone with the boys I grew up around.

"You are such a pathetic git," I said, furious with Danny.

"Tourists can't come round dressing like us and think they belong!" Danny countered.

"That's just the way he is! He doesn't try to be anyone else!" I yelled back desperately before running to my yard and perching on the armchair on our porch, waiting for Sirius to return.

He didn't. Not after twenty minutes, or even an hour. Danny seemed to get bored waiting and shouted to me, leaving with his friend.

"Looks like your boyfriend is a bit of a coward! Pity he doesn't care about you more!" he yelled. I said nothing but his words hit hard. Did Sirius just really leave me here when I'd expected him to come back and face Danny? Not that I particularly wanted them to race. It was reckless and dangerous. But that was everything Sirius lived on and craved. Why wasn't he here? Was he looking for an out? As I pondered this over and over again in my head, I saw that James and Sarah had exited our house and were now looking at me.

"Where's Sirius?" James asked in a puzzled voice.

"He left," was all I managed dully, staring stonily at the ground.

I could hear his surprise, even though he didn't say anything.

"Go inside Mary, you've been out here for hours," Sarah said gently. I nodded and watched as Sarah and James got in the car so she could take him home.

Why had Sirius left me?

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_**A/N; Thoughts? Cheryl will come back in the next chapter and will probably be explained. Haha its funny writing that name when I know exactly which reviewer it refers to :) Thanks again everyone, please review!**_


	29. Chapter 29

_**A/N: Sorry to keep you waiting, I had a bit of a rough time with this chapter which is why its not completely full of action, the next one will be better I hope! Thanks for everything :)**_

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Returning Confusion

**MARY POV**

I had no contact with Sirius after that strange day when he came to my town. Lily had gone home that day and we'd been sending letter back and forth about how stupid she felt for letting Potter get to her, but I could tell there were a million things running around in her head. She'd asked about Sirius, but I ignored it, wanting nothing less than to talk about how he had just left me, no explanations, apologies or anything. I wasn't angry. He had every right to bail on the race with Danny. I was just confused and upset. Why was he playing games? Why couldn't we just be together or be friends? Why was there always a stinking grey area when it came to us? I can't very well deal with this for the rest of my time at Hogwarts could I? For the first time since I started Sixth year, I just wanted to go back to being little, invisible, unnoticed Mary MacDonald.

The usual updates went around when Lily, Dorcas, Marlene and I saw each other again. Marlene and Dorcas were raving about some lads they'd met and Lily was grumbling about seeing James again. I was quiet, as usual, only speaking when I felt I needed to.

We entered the Great Hall for supper, hearing the familiar hustle and bustle of Hogwarts. Going to our usual place at the Gryffindor table we saw that only Remus and Peter were there. Lily and I looked at each other, both wanting desperately to bring up Cheryl but realizing neither of us knew Remus well enough to discuss his love life.

"James missed the train," Peter was saying to Remus.

"Silly gits, they do it every Christmas," Remus said with a laugh. Had Sirius and James already confronted him about Cheryl? Did Peter know too?

"I don't know what happened to Sirius though, he didn't send me an Owl," Peter said as we joined them.

Leaving the conversation about the other boys behind, we started talking about our Christmas with Remus and Peter when suddenly I heard a big shout.

"Remus John Lupin!" James said as he strode toward the table, a grin of glee on his face.

I saw the look of alarm run onto Remus' tired features as he stared at his excited friend. I saw that Sirius was walking behind him, with less of a swagger in his step. He looked…almost subdued.

"So Moony…when were you planning on telling us about your girlfriend?" James said sitting next to Lily with an air of excitement on his handsome face. Sirius sat beside him and helped himself to potatoes, not saying a word to anyone but watching his friends talk. Remus' face went red.

"Wh-What girlfriend?" he stumbled.

"Oh Moony, you are clever for ditching us at Diagon Alley but wouldn't it have been better to go somewhere else, where we wouldn't catch you?"

Remus paled and glanced at Peter. He sent Sirius and James a pleading look. For the first time since they arrived, Sirius smirked slightly.

"Wait, you have a girlfriend?" Peter asked in awe.

"Uh…I..I wanted to wait to tell you," Remus stammered, looking panicked.

James seemed to have realized his mistake and he looked like he was trying desperately to come up with an excuse.

"Er…it's Cheryl," Remus said, staring at his plate.

"What?" Peter spat, his mouth open.

"Oh come on Pete…I'm sure it wasn't intentional," James jumped in trying to remedy the situation.

Peter looked at him, his mouth still open and turned to Sirius who shrugged and kept eating.

"You know I liked her though Remus," Peter said, displaying the first legitimate emotion I'd ever seen on his face.

"I know Pete, and I tried not to let anything happen…it's just she's mates with Scarlett and after we decided to be just friends, I just started to get to know Cheryl better and…I'm sorry mate," Remus looked like he'd just killed someone. I felt a pang of sympathy rush to the four boys who were sitting very quietly.

"Come on Peter, just because you didn't have a chance, doesn't mean Remus couldn't have a go," Sirius said briskly.

"Oh and I suppose when Remus had a crush on Lily in Fourth Year, he could've had a go with her too then?" Peter asked angrily.

The three of them looked impressed. It was as if it was the first time Peter had proved them wrong.

"James would've murdered him. And you lot are telling me to let it go?" Peter asked his face turning red.

"Mate…I, I'm really sorry. It just happened, I swear," Remus was pleading.

Sirius looked like he was very tired of this conversation, he looked as if he didn't care at all that his friends were fighting like this.

"Pete, you know Moony wouldn't do it on purpose…you can't help liking the people you like…" James said, glancing at Lily who was very red after her name had been mentioned earlier.

"Fine," Peter said curtly.

"Mate, what can I do…" Remus asked.

"Nothing, it's fine Remus," Peter said eating his food.

"Marauder code," Sirius spoke up.

They all nodded silently and Peter finally smiled reluctantly.

"You're right lads…"

They all grinned at each other, Remus looking relieved and James and Sirius looking amused.

I don't know what this code was, but I felt sorry for Peter. He was so afraid of losing his popular friends, he couldn't stand up for what he believed in. At this moment, I suddenly realized why the four of them would be friends for as long as they lived.

But they were leaving now. They had all waved goodbye to us with the exception of Sirius who had been the first to get up. Why was he ignoring me? It was a new term, did that mean he would forget everything from the last?

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

I'm glad Petey and Remus patched things up. I wasn't really in the mood to deal with a Marauder fight today. The remainder of my holiday had been awful. The moment I got back to Grimmauld Place, my mother had shut me in a room and confined me to the house. She only let me leave when Reg and I were due back at Hogwarts. I was glad that she and my father had said nothing to me though, usually when I'm back they take every opportunity to make me feel like a failure and a complete waste of space. The only thing I have right now that made my trip home even a little better is the fact that I now have my motorcycle, magically shrunk sitting in my trunk in the dormitory. Other than that, I do feel like a useless failure and a waste of space. What Mary must think of me now…I never showed up to race that Danny bloke. She must think I'm a right git for ditching her. Or else, she thinks I'm a coward. Perfect. Do I seem different to everyone else I wonder? I feel as though I'm bursting inside. I try so hard not to let my bloody parents get to me. I hate that place, I've decided that I'm never going back. If Mr. and Mrs.P can stand me for another summer, I'll work and try and figure out how to live on my own…I just can't ever go back, it makes me feel like the scum of the earth. Like a tiny insignificant smudge my mother has on her nose. I wonder how my friends will react if I just crawl up in a broom cupboard and die?

Most of all I wonder how everything got so messed up? I was so close. So close to having Mary back but now she could barely speak to me. She hates me I know it. What can I do to make her change that? It would be easy if I was feeling my best, but lately I feel more insecure and pathetic than I've ever felt in my life. The idea of strutting up to her, apologizing and then asking her to go out with me again is so daunting to me. Last term, I would've been able to without a care in the world. I would've been able to make her blush and never be able to refuse. Now, I wonder if I could even get a smile out of her. I really am pathetic.

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_**A/N: I had planned on Sirius' POV to be more eventful but I ended up stuck on his emotions and thoughts instead. More action next chapter, promise :) Review Please!**_


	30. Chapter 30

_**A/N: This chapter is MUCH better, I think you'll enjoy it...it's fairly long too :) Thanks for your feedback, although I updated a bit sooner so some of you might not have read the last one yet...anyway, enjoy this and Review please!!**_

* * *

Something like Imperio

**SIRIUS POV**

I'm in trouble. I don't know how this happened but we've been back a week already and I haven't said a word to Mary. How do you suppose that happens? How do you just let a whole week fly by? I haven't really spoken to anyone really, so if that's a legitimate excuse, I'll use it. I don't know what's wrong with me. I sleep all the time. I'm moody. I'm deadly quiet in class. I've been doing my homework. I think I even spent an hour in the library the other day. What is wrong with me!? I remember this one day in the common room, when we were in Third Year, the Head Boy at the time was talking to his friends nearby about some bloke who was in depression. For some reason, I distinctly remember how the Head Boy knew he was depressed.

- He was always sleeping.

- He was moody.

- His personality had changed dramatically.

- He was burying himself in activities that he didn't usually get involved in.

So let's check off what's happening to me.

- Yesterday was Sunday and I refused to get out of bed until 6pm.

- On Wednesday I snapped at James for talking too loud. We were in class and he was answering a question.

- I'm usually the loudest person next to Prongs in every situation, now I'm making Remus look like he talks a mile a minute.

- I'm doing homework…

So, yes. By process of elimination, I've decided that I've gone into a bout of depression after Christmas. Now, if only I could figure out how to get out of it…I'd be set.

"Flitwick has a fit, Chisolm never ever gets detentions, I half thought that he was going to get another one for getting one in the first place!" Cheryl was saying with a laugh. She's in Ravenclaw so we don't get to hang about with her much but she's a laugh. She's good for Moony too, brings him out of his shell but still quietens down when there's homework to be done. Blimey, there's that horrible word again. Speaking of, I have a Transfiguration essay due in four days…perhaps I should get a head start.

"I can never imagine Flitwick getting that mad, he just looks funny on that stack on books of his!" James said popping a grape in his mouth. We were under the staircase closest to the kitchens. Peter discovered it the other day, it's one of those places which has room to sit and hang out in and it's not outside where it's bloody freezing. I reckon we've marked it as Marauder territory, no one else dares to come by there. We need the space for Moony because he can't go into Cheryl's common room and vice versa.

"Well you lot have McGonagall, she's well scary isn't she? I suppose you must've just gotten used to harsher treatment," Cheryl said snuggling into the crook of Remus' arm, which was wrapped around her shoulder. I noticed that Pete looked uncomfortable. At least now he feels the same way as Prongs and I…not with the girls we like. Always knew Moony was the best one…

Bored and suddenly thinking about Mary, I stopped listening and looked vaguely out into the hallway. We had Transfiguration in fifteen minutes, we really ought to get going. BLIMEY, what the hell is wrong with me? What Prongs would say if he could hear what I was thinking now, I don't want to know!!

"Padfoot, Padfoot!" I heard my name being called. I inclined my head to my friends and raised my eyebrows in question.

"What in the ruddy hell are you thinking about? You haven't said a word in half an hour!" James snapped. He sounded irritated, like he's reached the end of his tether.

I said nothing and Peter jumped in.

"What's wrong with you mate!? You're quieter than me these days and you're like a moody 5 year old!"

He can bloody talk. Peter acts like a 5 year old on a consistent basis.

"What's wrong? You've been like this ever since you went home?" Remus said in a gentler voice. He's always the concerned one. Or at the very least, knows how to express concern better than the rest of us.

I stared up at the underside of the great marble staircase, trying to come up with an excuse. Nothing came easily, so I decided I might as well tell the truth.

"Look, I don't really think I want to talk about this now…" I said quietly glancing at Cheryl. I liked her but I didn't know her well enough to have her hear everything about me. "No offence love," I said with an apologetic shrug.

She smiled, tucking her long black hair behind her ear. Her eyes looked sympathetic. They were green and reminded me of someone else's beautiful green eyes, making me feel worse than ever.

And this someone was not Lily Evans.

"None taken Sirius," she replied with a smile before kissing Remus softly. "I've got to get to class anyway, we only have ten minutes." Bloody hell…you see, I was as worried about getting to class on time as a Ravenclaw was. Ridiculous.

"You should talk to him," she whispered quietly to Remus and kissed him again. It was nice of her to be concerned, but I couldn't help being a little annoyed. Why does everyone always think they know more about what I need than I do!?

Cheryl waved goodbye to us all and hurried off to Potions while the lads just turned their stares to me.

"Will you just tell us what's up?" Prongs demanded impatiently. Bless him. Moony would probably see this as insensitive but Prongs knows this is the kind of treatment I respond to.

"Well, I ditched Mary after I agreed to race some idiot who was being a berk when we went to her house over the break. I went to my house to get my motorcycle and of course mummy dearest locked me up," I said it as nonchalantly as I could, but I knew it had come out bitter and angry.

"Did they do anything?" Remus asked concerned. They had all been shocked when unknowingly I had asked them all in first year if they ever got the Cruciatus Curse as a punishment.

"Nah, it was different," I replied.

"How?"

"Oh…uh, I dunno…I s'pose it's cos this time they didn't even think I was worth acknowledgment," I laughed lightly but my friends knew better. Looks of sympathy and even some pity fell on their faces and I felt more annoyed than ever.

"I suppose I've fallen into some bout of depression," I said laughing louder. "I have all the symptoms apparently.

James and Peter looked quickly at Remus for confirmation and he gave them a curt nod.

"It's alright…nothing a Firewhisky at Hogsmeade this weekend won't fix right?" I said with a wink. They still said nothing. The silence was making me want to explode, why weren't they saying anything!? Why couldn't they lie and make me feel better. I looked at Prongs, who had his faced screwed up in thought. Bloody git, he should know I'd rather not talk about this.

"What about Mary..,are you going to explain to her? You haven't said a thing to her since we got back," he said instead. Git. As I opened my mouth to change the subject, or aat least suggest we stop talking and get to class…we only had two minutes. I heard a gasp. My eyes darted to the side of the staircase and I saw flashes of green eyes and dark hair. There was a clattering of scurried feet, and I looked at Remus,

"Cheryl went to Charms didn't she?"

He nodded.

"Right. Well, apparently Mary and Evans heard our entire conversation, so perhaps I won't have to explain now," I said grimly. The Marauders all had strange expressions on their faces, as if they wanted to laugh. I did and they soon joined in until we heard a sharp, clearing of a throat. We groaned and turned to see McGonagall with her arms folded and her beady eyes on us.

"Detention," she said curtly.

"Why?" James spluttered in contempt.

"For being late to class," she began.

"We still have a couple of minutes!" Peter protested.

"And I suppose you could make it to my classroom in that time?" she asked eyebrow arched.

"Please Professor, we probably could," Remus said. The only way he'll talk back to a teacher is to attempt to talk himself out of a detention.

"I highly doubt that Mr.Lupin, especially since not one of you looked ready to leave at all. But, if you are adamant that you could have made it. Detention, for making ME late and for sitting under the staircase, a prohibited location for loitering. Now get up and go to class. All of you will see me after to set up detention."

We stared at her until she clapped her hands loudly and we all grabbed our bags, muttering and running quickly to the classroom.

"No running in the corridors!" she called after us cheerfully. She truly enjoys seeing us in pain, I'm convinced of it.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I know I shouldn't have let Lily convince me to spy on the Marauders when we heard them under the stairs. I had to hand it to Cheryl Goodwin though, she encouraged us to stay. I thought I would hate her because she got to hang around with them, something I sincerely missed being able to do. I just wanted everything to be alright with Sirius and I. I wanted us to be together, but at this point, we might have just missed our time. The whole debacle was bad timing. Maybe in fifteen years, we'd be perfect together…but now, absolutely not. I felt horrible hearing about why he's never come back to my house and then kicked myself for being so self absorbed and thinking it had something to do with me! I just wanted to be able to tell him everything was ok. He'd been so quiet lately, so introverted. Everyone was wondering what was wrong with him. I'd had people come up and ask me and I hadn't a clue myself! I don't think even the Marauders knew until today because James had mentioned something to me in passing about Sirius being strange. He thought something had happened between us that day when they came over. He also had no clue why Sirius hadn't spoken to me yet. That's why I was confused. If he had a good reason, why didn't he just tell me? Why is he still ignoring me? What's the use of James, Peter and Remus being his friends if they couldn't even help me figure out what was wrong.

Class started after the Marauders had rushed in and McGonagall stepped in moments later. We all sat listening as McGonagall explained the new spell.

"Any questions?" she asked and my hand shot up. I have no clue how or why…I didn't have any questions!!

"Are you wearing a new scarf Miss?" my mouth said. Alarm bells went off in my head. Who was making me do this stuff. I wanted to scream, flashes of what Mulciber had done to me last year came back and I desperately wanted to cry. I hated this feeling, I couldn't control what I was saying. It felt different this time, it wasn't the Imperius curse, because I still had my mind, it was more like, my words were turning into different things.

"Why…yes, I am Miss MacDonald…" McGonagall replied, surprised.

"The shade of green makes you look rather toadish," I said.

I clapped a hand over my mouth as people started to laugh. McGonagall didn't seem to notice that I was surprised at my own words. I stared around the room, my eyes quickly going to the Marauders, they were laughing quietly like everyone else, trying to look inconspicuous but I saw that James had his wand out and there was a proud smile on his face as McGonagall told me to see her after class to join Lupin, Pettigrew, Potter and Black in detention. I saw Sirius whisper something to James and they both smiled, purposely not looking at me. I knew now they had planned it. I suppose I better not try to get out of it. If they went through all that trouble, they must really want to talk to me. I was just happy to be in control again. I shuddered, hating the feeling of losing control. Mulciber's face appeared in my head again and I felt sick to my stomach.

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_**A/N: Oooh...what is going to happen in detention? What did Mulciber do? Review please!!  
**_


	31. Chapter 31

_**A/N: Thank you for those who have stuck to reading, I think you will enjoy this, I did :)**_

* * *

Mucky Business

**SIRIUS POV**

We just got our notes about detention.

_"Mr.Black,_

_You are to meet with me in the Owlery tonight at 8:30 to complete your detention. Please dress down._

_Professor McGonagall."_

­­

Bloody perfect. The Owlery on Tuesday. The same night where Mary and I used to meet on a regular basis. I could only hope she'd be there too. It had been a mean trick to get her into detention. Prongs thought of the idea, the spell that he made up was something like the Imperius curse only it basically turned the words a person was going to say into something rather nasty. It's pretty funny, we've done it to Snivellus and some other Slytherins before but we try not to discuss it. We know its not evil like the Unforgivable but its not particularly nice or safe either. Not to mention, new spells need to be registered but when have we ever registered anything we do illegally? Does that make us like Snivellus? I know he's invented a bunch of spells himself. I hate to admit it but the bloke's pretty genius. Except his spells have never been amusing or light-hearted like the one James made up. I've seen him do some pretty awful things, including cutting James' arm with some sort of slashing spell. Also, don't tell anyone else this but he was the first person who ever used levicorpus. James and I once found his Potions book and discovered his little scribbles. That one could be pretty amusing, especially when we used it on him. You should've seen his ruddy face!

"Yes! I got Hagrid in the Forbidden Forest!" Remus said happily. McGonagall's always soft on him cos he's a prefect. Which make me wonder…shouldn't she be harder on him for breaking the rules?

"Sweet, so did I!" James said they slapped high fives to each other.

"Ugh, I got the trophy room with Filch," Peter said making a face.

James patted him on the back. "That's ok mate, you can polish the Quidditch cup and stare at my name all night!"

Peter nodded happily, as if this news was actually a consolation to him.

"What did you get Padfoot?" Moony asked me, breaking me from my gaze at Mary who was opening her own detention notice.

"Oh…uh, I got the Owlery," I said sullenly. They cast me sympathetic looks. They know how much worse this would be for me if Mary didn't get the detention with me.

"So that leaves Mary with either you or Wormtail," James stated.

"Merlin, I hope its you after all that…we barely ever use that spell!" Remus said with a click of disapproval.

"I didn't want to do it, but its not like we could just slip some joke truth potion into her drink…" James defended himself.

"I'm sure it's fine," I said quietly, hoping it was so. Or at least that she hadn't noticed it was us.

"It's unlikely though isn't it? McGonagall barely ever pairs you up with someone for a detention, not after that time in Second Year! I'm surprised she put James with Remus!" Peter said unsurely.

"I'm a positive influence," Remus said with a sarcastic laugh.

"If you get her mate, I'll never forgive you," I joked to Peter. Strangely though, I think I was half serious.

"I'll try my best Padfoot," Peter said solemnly, making me laugh.

It caught the attention of Mary who lifted her delicate head and looked our way. Our eyes met and though no words were spoken, it felt very much like we were having the first conversation of the new term.

Around eight o'clock that evening, we all dressed in old jeans and raggedy t-shirts and headed downstairs to go to our detentions. I noticed Mary wasn't with her friends so I assumed she was already there or getting dressed. I can't wait to see her. I hope I get the chance to. Moony and Prongs headed over to Hagrid's hut and I walked Peter to the trophy room where Filch was waiting. Mary didn't seem to be there. My heart leapt at the thought of seeing her in the Owlery. Finally.

* * *

**MARY POV**

Of all the detentions that could be given…I assume there are many different kinds? I've never had more than lines, so I'm a bit lost on that topic. Anyway, of all the detentions that could be given, did McGonagall really think putting me in the Owlery was a fantastic idea? I suppose she hasn't a clue about the history I have with this place and how sad but nostalgic it makes me feel. I could almost feel Sirius' lips on mine as I passed by the crevice where we had our first kiss and could almost smell the faint fragrance of him as I took a seat on the bench in front of Professor McGonagall who was staring at her watch and tapping her foot impatiently. What she was waiting for, I haven't a clue, because I didn't listen to her mumbling. A black Eagle Owl swooped down to the perch looking regal and haughty. Lestat, Sirius' Owl. It preened its shimmering black feathers and looked at me, as if studying my every thought and desire. It then hooted, opening its beak wide and obnoxiously at me before taking off into the rafters without another look.

"Sorry I'm late Miss, I had to walk Peter to the Trophy Room…he gets a bit scared at night."

I closed my eyes. His voice was playful and carefree but seemed heavier than usual, as if it was an effort to get each word out of his mouth. I wonder if this was my imagination or if everyone noticed this about him. Or maybe I noticed because I notice everything he does.

Sirius flipped his long, shaggy hair off his eyes and smirked at a stern McGonagall before walking over and stopping in his tracks. He had clearly only realized I was here now. He tried to smile at me I think, but it looked so forced, it almost made me want to burst into tears. He awkwardly stopped his route toward the bench where I sat and instead leaned against the wall and turned to McGonagall.

"Black, I will not tolerate lateness again. Never ever be late to a detention again or next time I will have to sort out every piece of underclothing that is in the Hogwarts Laundry room, with no Elves to help!" she snapped. He looked quite shocked at this threat, but almost amused at the same time. He chose to say nothing and only nodded and looked at the floor.

"You two will be cleaning up the Owl muck from the floor of the Owlery, with these mops. I was considering putting up a shield charm to avoid the Owl's dropping on you as you cleaned, but since Mr.Black seemed to think this detention was a little joke, I shan't."

I groaned, Owl droppings in my hair? Honestly, couldn't Sirius just be on bloody time?

I glanced at him, trying to fight off my glare but his eyes were sparkling as he looked at McGonagall. His mouth was in a tight, straight line and he looked as though he might burst into laughter. The git thought it was funny! Funny, that there might be Owl droppings all over us by the end of the night. And who knew how long this would take anyway!?

"Right, wands…" McGonagall demanded holding out her hands. I handed her mine and Sirius reluctantly did the same before grabbing the buckets and mops. I picked up the two brooms and McGonagall opened the Aviary for us. She closed the gate behind us and spoke sharply.

"I will be back at Midnight and I expect you to be almost done!" she said before walking out, her robes swishing behind her. We wouldn't be done until after midnight? Just how dirty was this place anyway. I got my answer as I followed Sirius down the stone steps leading to the floor of the Aviary. There was a giant feeding area with seed and water where a few birds were perched eating.

"It doesn't look too bad," I said out loud forgetting these were my first words to Sirius in over a month. The moment I spoke, I felt stupid.

He chuckled and put the two buckets and mops in a corner before taking a broom from me and saying, "Do you know what colour this floor really is?"

I looked down seeing the speckled brown, yellow and white floor and suddenly realized that the stone steps, which were protected from the rest of the area were a light stone grey.

"Bollocks," I said and Sirius laughed again. He walked to the other end of the room and began sweeping. The droppings not embedded or stuck too hard to the ground started to gather in a pile. I watched for a moment or two before he looked over his shoulder at me. Immediately, I began to sweep too.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

I watched her in my periphery for the first hour. She looked so cute dressed in tracksuit bottoms and some old t-shirt. I wonder what she'd look like in one of my old t-shirts. But let's get my mind out of the gutter for a moment. Her pretty brown hair as always kept falling into her eyes and it took all my self control not to chuckle when she balanced the broom between her legs so she could tie her hair completely back and off her face. She looked prettier still, biting his lip as she furiously tried to sweep up the layers of muck that had built up over the years. She gasped once, I suppose she thought she'd found the floor, but when she went back to the same spot, I knew she hadn't. I'd had a similar moment earlier and it turned out that it was only a layer of newspaper someone had put in certain places to make a trail to the feeding cage. We'd been working hard for almost an hour and a half when we finally talked. I had expected it but I suppose she was surprised because our backs had bumped into each other as we met halfway across the room, finishing sweeping up all we could. There was now two huge piles on either side of us and they were very nearly taller than Mary herself. She jumped a mile when she bumped into me, dropping her broom and tripping over her foot, landing flat on her bum a few feet away from me. Catching her broom, I watched her silently as she got up, disgruntled and made her way over to me, muttering a word of thanks as I gave her back her broom. I nodded and retrieved the gloves and large bags McGonagall had left in our supplies and handed some to her. She looked disgustedly at them and I shrugged before tentatively shoving handfuls of the dried muck into the bags. She sighed and started to do the same when suddenly I heard a squeal. I turned in alarm, rushing to her when I saw that my Owl Lestat had swooped and…well…relieved himself on her shoulder.

"Ugh, that is disgusting," she moaned. I made a face too, it was pretty nasty but she looked so cute there trying not to make the slightest movement so the dropping wouldn't spread.

"He gotcha good," I joked and she half laughed.

"I think he may have done it to spite me," she said softly but I still heard. Pretending not to, I made my way over to her, holding a napkin.

"Uh…may I?" I asked, for some reason very polite and formal. As if I was ten again and was greeting my parents' dinner guests at the door.

She nodded and was biting her lip again, not looking me in the eye and instead staring at the offending piece of murky, viscous liquid on her shoulder. I slowly touched her shoulder, grasping it lightly with my left hand while my right, which held the napkin grazed lightly across her collarbone. I felt her shiver and I didn't want to move. Regardless however, I carefully scooped up my pet's mess and made sure it was all gone before finally letting go of her shoulder. She was breathing ever so slightly heavier and our mouths were inches apart.

I looked into her beautiful, rather doleful green eyes and felt my own grey ones sparkle with the happiness I hadn't felt in weeks and weeks. We watched each other, oblivious to everything else and only aware of the closeness of our bodies, the heat our faces were generating as I slowly inched closer, determined to close the gap.

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_**A/N: Cliff, anyone? haha**_


	32. Chapter 32

_**A/N: Thank you reviewers! You are awesomesauce :) Check out my M-rated L/J ONESHOT if you're into that thing. I think its one of my best written pieces, but it was my first M, so I'm not sure how well that went. Let me know in a review if you liked it :)  
**_

* * *

Droppings and Explanations

**SIRIUS POV**

When there was only the width of a toothpick between us, Mary cleared her throat and turned to the side. She looked flustered and very red as she mumbled thank you for cleaning her shoulder up and turned back to the bags, furiously shoveling more droppings in. I stayed where I was, fixed in the position I'd just been in, frustration flooding my veins and my breathing heavy. I had been so close. I wanted so much to talk to her easily again, hold her hand, have her be my girlfriend for everyone to see. And I had been so close.

We silently got back to work and when we were done with the dry pile we both started to mop the more stubborn muck off the floor. There was only the sound of the mop swishing across the floor and the frequent dunking in the bucket. Suddenly, I couldn't take it anymore. I spoke, softly, but with our sustained silence it seemed like I was yelling.

"Sorry we got you this detention…" There's no point in lying to her and saying we didn't do it. I knew she already knew.

"That's ok," she said softly. There was something in her tone that sounded troubled.

"What's wrong? I thought you would've been more upset that we got you in trouble." I said hesitantly.

She stopped mopping but didn't turn to face me. "No, I suppose it was good because I wanted a chance to speak to you…but it's how you did it that upset me."

"The spell?" I asked, confused. I didn't think she would be so upset about that.

"Did you ever hear what Mulciber did to me last year?" she whispered.

I felt a rush of heat in my body as I mentally went over all the incidents and gossip I'd heard over the years. I usually stayed away from listening to the rumour mill, preferring to be a topic in it, rather than part of it.

"No…what happened?" I asked apologetically.

She sighed and sat down on the large tied up garbage bag. She didn't say anything until I joined her on a bag of my own.

"Last year, I was coming back from the library one morning and it was fairly early on a Saturday so no one was about. I thought I'd go to the dungeons and check on one of the potions our class had been working on. Remember that Invisibility draught that took a week to make?"

I nodded, wanting her to go on. She obliged and said, "So as I walked past, there were two boys, they were both wearing cloaks which hid their faces and they were laughing…like they were proud about something. I was a bit confused, but tried to walk past them as quick as I could. At the time, my dad was facing an inquiry at work because he's really interested in Muggle motor things, and it was all over the news. So one of them says, 'Oh look it's that muggle-loving blood traitor'. I cringed but didn't really want to face it, so I tried to walk by them, but suddenly I heard one of them whisper the Imperius curse and suddenly I felt like I had no control of anything I was saying or doing. Sort of like how that spell James made me feel…but much worse. I had no control and wasn't strong enough to fight it. I could hear them laughing as they forced me go upstairs and waited until a Muggleborn walked by. They forced me to call him horrible names and he was on the verge of tears when suddenly they heard McGonagall's voice coming around the corner and they stopped the spell. They weren't good enough to keep it going, so I came almost immediately back to my senses and heard one of the boys say, 'Mulciber, let's go'. Liam, the boy they made me harass heard it too, and I collapsed once they left, so I was lucky almost. At least he knew I didn't mean a thing I said. When McGonagall came we both tried to explain what happened and she was very grim about it and sent us both to the Hospital Wing. I haven't seen Liam since, but at least he believed me, you know?"

I saw that there were tears shining in her eyes and for the first time I realized how awful it must've been for her, when no one knew her, no one could stand up for her, defend her. If something like that had happened to Prongs or I or even Remus and Peter, everyone would've known immediately and the git who'd done it…their life would've been made miserable by half the population of Hogwarts. Even Snivelly got some sympathy from the very few people who'd heard what I'd done to him last year.

"Why didn't they get kicked out of Hogwarts?" I asked, my voice tight.

She laughed softly and bitterly, something I'd never heard her do before. She suddenly seemed much older and mature than I'd ever thought she was.

"No one could be sure who his mate was, Liam and I both knew it must've been Avery, he was much too big to be Snape and those two were always together even before Snape hung about with them. And even though we both heard Mulciber's name, he denied it until the end of his inquiry. No one could prove anything, although I'm sure Dumbledore has kept his eye on him ever since." Tears were now dripping off the end of her little nose and her eyes were red. She rubbed them roughly and I wanted nothing more than to hold her close to me and find Mulciber the second we got out of detention. I knew that wouldn't do anything though. It wouldn't do if I got kicked out of Hogwarts for murdering some bullying Death Eater.

"I'm sorry…" I choked and she smiled.

"Not your fault is it?"

"Yeah, but what we did…after that…"

She shrugged. "I wasn't pleased, but it was different, you weren't trying to hurt me…just tease me a little."

I nodded, feeling my eyes suddenly burn. I'd never felt this before and the only thing I could think to do was stand up and start mopping again.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I joined him after a few minutes of gathering up my emotions. I'm glad I told him. It felt so easy to explain, I knew he'd never doubt me. He'd feel for me, he'd know what I went through. Somehow I know, because even if we aren't together, even if we never do get together, Sirius and I have been through enough together already that I wouldn't be surprised if he could read exactly what I felt. All I had to do was look into his eyes and he look into mine and in those moments, we knew exactly what the world was about. Why the birds sang. Why the stars shone brighter over the dark Owlery than over any other tower in Hogwarts and why we loved each other. Did we love each other? I was certain now that I loved him. I could only hope and wish that he decided to love me back.

It was about eleven thirty and the floor was sparkling. We had worked diligently to get the mess cleaned. All that was to be done was give the floor one last good scrub and it would be brand new. It seemed that even the Owls had decided to help us out by not relieving themselves and making more for us to clean. I watched him as he collapsed onto the floor, right in the middle of the room, wiping his brow and sighing heavily. After a moment of hesitation, I walked over and sat beside him.

He smiled at me tiredly and I felt my heart race. This is what that person who said, "True Love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights" meant. It was the quiet moments, the built up emotions that made you realize what really mattered. I always imagined if Sirius Black fell in love with me, it would be a dramatic ridiculous grand gesture, and while we've had our share of drama, it was quiet moments like this that made me realize just how strongly I felt.

"What happened when you went back to your house that night Sirius?" I asked.

He smiled ruefully. "Well you already heard didn't you?"

"So that was it then? Your mum wouldn't let you leave?"

"In a way," he looked uncomfortable, as if he wanted to say something but the words wouldn't come.

"Is that why you've been acting so different since we got back?" I whispered, biting my lip. He watched the action, studying it before he spoke.

"No. I think…I suppose its because that was the end for me and my family."

"Aren't you relieved?"

"Yes…and no. I fought so long for their approval. I went through all the punishments, I had an Unforgivable curse of my own." Now was his turn to laugh bitterly as I covered my mouth in shock.

"But this time was different, it was like I didn't exist, she locked me up to deprive me of anything I loved, to keep me miserable even if it made her angry to have me there. I was completely insignificant…and I haven't felt like that in a really, really long time." He sighed.

He'd finally explained to me, why. He'd answered every question. Why he was so afraid to lose his popularity. Why he was scared of not being wanted. Why he was the way he was.

"I never knew…" I said, not entirely saying what I thought but I knew he knew anyway.

He gently tilted my head up to look at him, and I did apprehensively but he had a slight, familiar smile on his gorgeous face which was so much more to me now than just eye candy.

"I want you to know…I didn't act the way I did earlier this year because I was scared of losing the only admiration from people that I'd ever gotten. Sure, it was a little strange to think of losing that…but you were more important than that when I actually, really and truly thought about it…"

I nodded, a lump in my throat. When had he become so good with words? Why was he suddenly so eloquent? Maybe he wasn't…maybe it was just because now I finally understood him.

"The scariest thing to me was giving my everything to someone else…someone who could just as easily take it away from me. I grew up with everything but when I was put in Gryffindor, I lost everything including my family's respect. If I had you…I don't know how I could handle losing you forever."

I gulped and nodded, grasping at his fingers that had reached into my hair. Our foreheads touched and I felt electricity run through me.

"And…" he whispered, "I thought I'd lost you already, and nothing in my life seemed ok anymore."

"You never lost me. I don't think that's possible," I whispered back, desperately feeling for his fingers, wanting to feel something that would convince me this moment was real.

"You've been so patient with me, but now I need you. So choose to need me back…and everything will be ok," he whispered his eyes closing and his voice become strangled and even softer.

I squeezed my eyes shut and felt his breathing, lightly over my lips. The sensation sent tingles through my body as I whispered the simple words, "I love you."

I heard him smile even though my eyes were shut. There was the faintest of chuckles in his voice as he said, "I think you know I love you too, McNamey".

I laughed and slapped his arm playfully, but still barely moved. "Git."

"Thank you for choosing me," he said and our lips finally met. The sweetness and electricity, which I hadn't felt in months had returned and I could feel every ounce of me becoming steadily happier as we deepened our kiss and pulled ourselves together. I heard a mumble of surprise from Sirius but he didn't stop, when suddenly I felt something drop on my head and I gave the same mumble of surprise. We separated, laughing, looked at each other and laughed harder. After a few minutes Sirius gave me his most dashing smirk, pulled me into his arms and kissed me again.

Neither of us caring about or remembering the owl droppings that lay wet in our hair.

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_**A/N: Well? 3**_


	33. Chapter 33

_**A/N: Sorry for the delay...warning, this is a fluff chapter :) **_

* * *

The First Day as Sirius Black's girlfriend

**MARY POV**

I woke up, happy. Not confused, not depressed, just plain happy. I hummed a little song as I crawled from my bed, showering and getting ready. Lily woke up soon after and raised an eyebrow at me through her tangled mess of red hair. She'd listened to me drone on and on about my night with Sirius and had been happy for me but I could tell she was apprehensive. She was worried that it would be the same as last time. There was an inkling of doubt in me too. I worried that Sirius might still be worried about being with me. But he'd said he loved me. And this time I believed it more than I have believed anything in my life. I pulled my hair off my face with some bobby pins, slicked on the small amount of make-up I usually do and waited patiently for Lily to get ready. She said nothing when she was and we walked downstairs together. I was waiting to get to the Great Hall, curious about how Sirius would act when I saw him at breakfast. Luckily I didn't have to wait that long. He was sitting talking to James who had a wide grin on his face. James inclined his head our way and Sirius looked over his shoulder, his face breaking out into a giant smile when he saw me. I found that the corners of my mouth had tugged up further than I thought possible as I practically skipped to him.

"Hello gorgeous," he said as he hugged me. Lily was watching carefully and James was watching her as always.

"Hi," I said, smiling wider as he dropped a kiss on my cheek.

"Ready for breakfast?" he said taking my hand into his own warm one. I nodded and we walked, our hands casually entwined. It was as if we'd been doing this for years. We strolled through the hallways and I heard the familiar sound of whispers as we walked past the odd groups of people congregated in the corridors. When we walked through the giant doors of the Great Hall there was a hush followed by a lull of silence. I heard the sound of my own footsteps as we walked painfully slowly to our place at the Gryffindor table. I felt myself glow red as I tried desperately to ignore the stares we were getting. It was suddenly really awkward. Sirius smiled to himself as if he hadn't noticed anything different, but he squeezed my hand reassuringly.

"What do you think you're staring at?" I heard Lily snap at a group of Hufflepuffs who busied themselves with their breakfast. I suppose it must've looked like she was with James too, so she scooted as far away from him as possible and continued to stare people down, daring them to make a comment. I love Lily!

"Toast love?" Sirius said as we sat down.

"Sure," I said rather awkwardly, everything seemed different, more formal. I wasn't sure if I liked it. I took the toast Sirius had buttered for me with a slight frown.

"Something wrong?" he asked with a frown of his own.

"You're being really polite," I blurted out. He stared at me for a second before breaking out into a large grin and throwing back his head with laughter.

"Oh thank Merlin you hate it. I was afraid, I'd have to walk you to every class and butter your toast, and pour your juice, and pull out your chair and all that crap!" Sirius said with relief.

I frowned again. "What made you think that?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. I did all that stuff for Emmeline you know? And Davies did it for you…"

"I hated that. I like you, not some formal, chivalrous version of you…" I said, still frowning at him. He smiled widely and kissed me full on the mouth. When he moved back, he had a small grin playing at the side of his mouth as he helped himself to the sausages.

"What?" I asked, slightly exasperated at his behaviour. He turned to me, still grinning and said,

"Merlin, I love you."

I blushed apple red.

"Like my new scarf Miss MacDonald? Does it make me less toadish?" Professor McGonagall said to me as we entered her classroom. She was running her hands over a new, violet scarf. I gulped, and discreetly kicked Sirius' shin. He jumped and spoke immediately.

"Minnie you look like a lovely little grape!" he said with a beaming smile as he slipped his hand around mine. McGonagall's eyes dipped down to it and I could see her working it all out in her head.

"Thank you Mr.Black," she said absentmindedly, still looking at our intertwined fingers. We nodded awkwardly and headed to our seats when she said with a hint of a smile in her voice,

"No public displays of affection in my classroom if you please."

"Awww Minnie!" Sirius whined as he took his seat behind me.

"Black!" she yelled.

"White!" he yelled back enthusiastically.

"Crimson!" James yelled, as he entered the room.

Sirius burst into laughter, banging his fist on the desk as McGonagall looked livid.

"What are we talking about?" James asked with a grin, sitting down.

"Detention!" McGonagall burst out.

"But Miss! We were only having a laugh!" James protested.

She looked like she was going to bubble over with anger. It was really quite amusing to watch.

"Fine. But SILENCE! For the rest of my class…"

"Yes Professor," the boys said with identical smirks.

"You're the worst!" I said, turning around and smacking his arm playfully.

"Or am I the best?" Sirius replied happily.

"I'm so glad he's not being a moody cow anymore! Thank you Mary," James put in clapping his hands together. I blushed.

"It wasn't because of me was it?" I asked quietly.

Sirius shrugged indifferently but gave me a small smile letting me know it was true.

I turned around happily and started talking to Lily who was freaking out because she didn't understand the new spell. I noticed James was paying close attention but didn't say anything. I thought for a moment about how Sirius and I hadn't been the only ones with an awkward interaction over Christmas break. Whatever happened between Lily and James that day anyway.

Once McGonagall had started class, I whispered to her.

"Whatever happened between you and James after your drunk day?" I asked.

She went red. "Oh…nothing."

"Liar!"

"Well…we may or may not have kissed. I don't really remember, all I know was he sent me an Owl the next day to check up on me and he asked about what happened between us that day. I told him it meant absolutely nothing to me and he ought to leave me alone for good now."

"Has he?"

"Sort of…he hasn't stopped talking to me, but he never flirts with me or says anything rude or anything. He's been…sort of decent!" Lily said with a confused, thoughtful look on her pretty face.

"You soo fancy him!" I teased.

She shoved me. "No I don't! Just because Sirius pulled his head out of his arse long enough to get you to fall in love with him….doesn't mean Potter will ever be able to do the same!"

"Lily shush…" I warned as I heard James walk briskly by us looking ticked off. He left the room. Luckily McGonagall didn't notice because she was too busy helping someone with the impossible spell, which no one had gotten yet.

"Oh…" she said, her voice small and embarrassed as her eyes stared at the door, which James had just left through.

"Nice one Evans…" Sirius whispered to us and she just grunted in response, beginning on the spell.

"Got it yet love?" he said to me.

"No, have you?"

"Haven't even tried yet," he said with a shrug before I heard a small voice coming from his pocket. "Oh!" he exclaimed pulling a mirror from his pocket, looking into it with a devilish grin. He glanced at McGonagall for a moment before nodding at the mirror.

"Uh…Sirius?" I asked, thoroughly confused. "Why are you nodding at your reflection?"

He laughed and said nothing as James re-entered the room and sat back down, without a look at Lily who determinedly ignored him, although she looked worried for some reason.

"We have enchanted mirrors. Its how me and James get through detention when they separate us. We can talk to each other."

"So that's how you managed to go out of the room without McGonagall noticing?" I asked.

"Yeah, can't be bothered to ask when I need the loo you know?" he said with a nonchalant shrug and waved his wand. The book in front of him turned into a garden gnome and James grinned.

"Ohh…I didn't realize that was the wrist movement!" Sirius said, waving his own wand and turning another book into a similar gnome. The two began to dance around with each other, and McGonagall approached with a stiff grin.

"Finally! Some of you have managed it! Has anyone else!?" McGonagall yelled at us. There was a ripple of no's and everyone shook their heads.

"Ok boys, care to explain how you did it?" she said to them, but they both solemnly shook their heads with doleful eyes.

"What!?" she hissed in a surprised voice. I was surprised too. They take every opportunity to show off!

"Why?" she said icily.

Sirius wrote something down and passed it to me. He motioned for me to read it out loud and I did so, in a confused voice.

"They say that they can't because you told them to be silent for the remainder of the lesson…" I said trying to keep a straight face. No one else could, they were laughing raucously.

McGonagall rolled her eyes and tapped her foot impatiently. "Fine, you may speak," she said in a dull, tired voice.

Of course the boys took this to mean that they should jump on the table and yell at the top of their lungs the instructions.

"DETENTION!" she yelled at them as the bell rung.

"For disrupting my class and for being insufferable show-offs!" she said angrily throwing her arms up in the air and leaving the room before anyone else.

Sirius and James high-fived.

"Nice!"

* * *

_**A/N: Review please, thank you all for your love!**_


	34. Chapter 34

_**A/N: Title says it all...thanks for the reviews. New Oneshot: "Watching Potter play Quidditch" up. **_

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When Everything is Right, Things are Bound to Go Wrong

**MARY POV**

You know when everything is going so right in your life that you're anxiously waiting for something to go wrong? Well that's me, right now. It's been two months already and Sirius and I are perfectly smitten with each other. He's brought me out of my shell, I'm the confident, uncaring person I was always so jealous of. I don't care about anything because everything that matters to me has already happened. I've brought Sirius out of his shell too, but in a different way James says. He's less bored all the time and actually shows that he cares about things other than his friends and himself. I had no idea how this felt before him. All the girls who try desperately to change the bad boy to no avail. I'm one of the girls who succeeded and that makes me want to sing all the time! Sirius and I have talked about how we're different people now, but it didn't seem to matter. It's like we've made better versions of ourselves. I miss him when he's gone off somewhere and when I'm in some obscure part of Hogwarts, he always finds me because he can't stand being away from me either. I love his friends, they like me. Cheryl and I have become good friends, and somehow Lily has been bunched into our little group. The Marauder's girlfriends. It makes Lily furious but I can tell there's more going on there than even she understands.

"Where have you been silly?" Sirius said, pulling me into his lap. The Marauders and Cheryl had been hanging out underneath the staircases when Lily and I found them. Lily looked a little apprehensive, as if she was worried about being caught there.

"Come on Lil, no one cares," I said to her with a smile, kissing Sirius' smiling face.

She pulled a face.

"You two disgust me," James put in with a frown of his own.

"Finally! Something we agree on James," Lily teased, sitting down. Is it just me or have they been nicer to each other lately? I've been so caught up in Sirius that I didn't even notice that the bickering pair had become friends. I suppose it's circumstance, but then again, it could be because he hasn't bothered asking her out for months.

"Oh leave them alone, they're still in the honeymoon phase!" Cheryl said with a smile at Remus who had his arm around her. He smiled but I noticed he looked rather worried.

"They've been together practically a year!" James sad with a sigh.

"Not properly though, that's only been a few months," Remus added.

James and Lily rolled their eyes at each other. "It's enough!" they said together.

Sirius laughed. "Oh and when's the cynical twosome going to find solace in each other?" He glanced at the clock in the hallway. "Oh that's right…any day now."

"Ugh," Lily sighed hitting her forehead with her palm while James just looked amused.

"Nah, we're just mates," he said nonchalantly. He pretended not to see the surprised look on Lily's face.

"I hate all of you," Peter said dully. We all laughed.

"Oh come on Petey, we'll find you a girl!" Sirius said as he wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his chin in the hair lying on my shoulder.

"I don't want one anymore," Peter said glaring at Cheryl who looked uncomfortable.

"Pete, leave it," James warned and the boy just shrugged and went back to picking at his scab.

Remus looked even more uncomfortable. Oh dear, I suppose Peter still isn't over Cheryl. That must be hard for him. It sucks for Peter sure, but Remus must feel like he's betrayed his friend and I can imagine that's not a nice feeling.

"Remus, wanna go for a walk?" Cheryl asked. He looked worriedly at James who looked thoughtful. Strange. I glanced at Sirius who had a similar look on his face.

"Sure…I just, I need to be back in before it gets dark. I…have detention," Remus said hurriedly.

"Yeah, yeah he has detention…with us," Sirius spoke up over my shoulder.

"Whatever did you get in trouble for now?" Lily asked exasperatedly.

"Sitting under the staircase…" James said before he threw something over Cheryl, Lily and I. We shrieked in surprise but suddenly none of us could move or speak out loud. We knew the body-binding curse and silencing spell had been put on us. What were they doing now?! Lily looked furious and Cheryl looked confused. I was a little scared, I have to admit but when I heard Sirius mumble an apology to me and stand, I immediately felt safer.

"Evenin' Professor!" Sirius said cheerfully.

"Who else is down here?" McGonagall asked sternly.

"No one…just us!" James replied in an equally cheerful voice.

"Well why aren't you in your common room?" she asked.

"We…wanted a bit of quiet," Remus put in stiffly.

"To study," Peter added.

"Now I know youre lying. See me in an hour for detention. Really boys, you'd think you enjoyed it. Now hurry and go to your common rooms or the library or the Quidditch Pitch or even the Hospital Wing for all I care, just DO NOT loiter in this area!" she snapped before the clip-clopping of her heels began and faded away.

Suddenly I could move again and I threw the fabric covering us off.

"What the hell?" Lily screamed before I had a chance.

"We didn't want you lot to get in trouble, we had to use the spells and my Invisibility cloak," James said simply, helping us up.

"You lot are the weirdest lads I've ever met," Cheryl said shaking her head.

"Indeed we are," Sirius said in a businesslike tone. "Let's go…we'll walk you to the common room."

"You lot always get detention…was that really necessary?" I asked as he took my hand and we walked behind Peter and in front of Lily and James to the common room. Remus was walking Cheryl over to the Ravenclaw tower.

"Oh, well no…we could've all avoided detention, but we were covering for Remus," Sirius said. Suddenly he let out a gasp of pain. James had kicked him. Sirius shot a look at his mate but suddenly a look of realization hit his face.

"Covering for Remus?"

"Well…uh he can't spend tonight with Cheryl because…we're having a boys night," he said.

"Why weren't you covering for yourself?" I asked in a suspicious tone.

"I knew you'd understand love," Sirius explained kissing me.

"Why do I get the feeling you aren't telling me something?" I said with a raised brow as Lily passed by me to get through the portrait.  
"Because I'm not," he whispered. I heard James click his tongue in annoyance. He and Peter were standing nearby, waiting for Sirius to say bye to me.

"Wait a minute won't you, Impatient?" I said to James who just shrugged apologetically.

"No, I mean it isn't my secret to tell alright? Trust me?" he said with a grin.

"You know I do," I said hugging him.

"If anyone asks though, after detention, the lads and I went into Hogsmeade for a drink."

"You are ridiculous. I thought we'd established neither of us are very mysterious anymore!" I said with mock frustration.

He laughed and tucked my hair behind my ear. "You don't know the half of it love," he whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek again and turning to leave.

"Bye," I said to the boys who waved and started urgently whispering to Sirius who seemed like he was trying to fend off their anger.

Confused, I watched them disappear around the corner, still bickering.

"Coming in dear?" The Fat Lady asked me.

"Oh," I said turning to her, forgetting the door was still open.

"You caught yourself a handsome one there!" she said with a wink.

I smiled. "I know. Thank you, but I think I'll be going to the Library."

She sniffed and slammed the door shut.

I nodded awkwardly and took off towards the Library. I never got there though.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Everyone got on my back for almost letting Moony's secret out of the bag to Mary. I wouldn't have though. I'm not that stupid, although I doubt she'd care or do anything other than feel sorry for him. Moony agrees but everyone else thinks we should keep it quiet a bit longer, too many people knew already.

Our detention wasn't long. McGonagall knew Remus would have to be going to the Hospital Wing soon to prepare for tonight. The rest of us were going to leave around midnight and it was only about ten now.

"Hurry along now Mr.Lupin, remember what I told you about Madam Pomfrey needing to see you?" she said secretively. I stifled a laugh. As if we didn't know already! McGonagall can be bloody stupid. Although I suppose its only Dumbledore who knows we know Moony's a werewolf. I don't think he's figured out the Animagus part though. We walked Moony over to the Hospital Wing, saying quietly that we'd see him later. Poor bugger, he looks so tired and worried. I suppose the fact that Cheryl doesn't know is getting to him. I doubt he'll tell her though. He's too scared of losing her. I reckon he'll have to break it off soon anyway. Moony can never get too close to a girl. He had different reasons from the ones I used to have though. He was more afraid of hurting them.

Prongs, Wormy and I got to the fairly empty common room around half past ten and settled on the sofas next to Lily, Marlene and Dorcas. Mary wasn't there. This of course made me frown.

"Where's Mary?" I asked Lily who shrugged.

"I don't know, after you walked us back she didn't come in. I know she needed to go to the library though. I expect she's there," Lily said.

I nodded, still curious.

"Got the map?" I whispered to Prongs who shook his head.

"We left it in the Shack entranceway remember?" He whispered back.

Right, we were pretty dumb about it last time and forgot to collect the map from the passageway. We figured the cloak would be enough this once, when we were trying to avoid Filch and such. I was just annoyed because that meant I'd have to look for Mary without magic.

"Give us the cloak?" I said.

"Mate, we have to get going soon anyway. I don't want anyone to get suspicious. I have a bad feeling about tonight…"

"She's fine Padfoot, just studying," Wormtail put in.

"She ought to be back though…" I said in a puzzled voice.

"Library closes at Midnight anyway Sirius, so she'll probably leave then," Lily remarked, hearing my last sentence. I nodded but was irritated. Great, now I wouldn't be able to see her until tomorrow, which always annoyed me. Merlin, I could see this girl every moment of my life and not have a problem with that. What d'you reckon that means?

Huffily, I watched James and Peter join the girls in a game of Exploding Snap. Before long three smoky, blackened sets of heads were getting up disgruntled.

"I hate you Potter, you always win!" Lily said to the laughing boy.

"Not always," he said with a smile. The girls waved to us and disappeared upstairs to bed. That left the three of us alone, getting ready to leave. I tried to delay them a bit hoping to get to talk to Mary before bed but James was insistent.

"I know you want to see your girl Padfoot, but if we get there after Midnight, Moony will have clawed himself silly!" he said in a worried tone. I nodded instantly.

"You're right, sorry I'm a prat…" I said as we all got under the cloak.

Peter nodded and laughed while James just shook his head.

"Nah mate, you're just in love."

* * *

**MARY POV**

Silent tears ran down my face as I tried to struggle. It was impossible however, the body-binding curse and silencing charm had been put on me for the second time today, only this time it wasn't to save me a detention. This time it was Mulciber and he had an enormous, sadistic grin on his face as he paced in front of me. We were in an unfamiliar room. I had never been in here before, but it was set up very much like a Muggle Interrogation room. I was sat on an uncomfortable wooden chair and the only bright light in the whole room was shone directly in my face. Mulciber was there in his awful cloak, a horrible mark branded onto his disgusting, overly muscular forearm. Avery sat at a desk in the corner, his feet on the desk, wearing a similar cloak. He looked positively sick as he laughed at me, mocking my teary face and calling me dirty names. The person I was most surprised to see was Snape. He was standing, in regular Hogwarts robes, awkwardly by the door. He had a look of panic on his face, but made no move to help me, although I tried desperately to plead with him using my eyes. He folded his arms and continued to stare at me as if I was some strange animal.

"Snape, get out if all you'll do is stare!" Avery yelled, pulling up the sleeve of his cloak revealing his own tattoo and aiming his wand lazily at me. I felt a shot of electricity run through me and my frozen spine tried to arch. I screamed silently, feeling the pain shock and intrude every part of my body. It was unbearable!

"Well? Going to step up Severus?" Mulciber asked the boy who was now pressed up against the door. Mulciber rolled his eyes impatiently. "Oh bloody hell, at least let me know that blasted spell you keep talking about…what was it, Sectum.."

"Sectumsepra," Snape said, his wand pointed at my frozen arm. I could see he was shaking. Suddenly, I was shaking. There was a big gash in my arm and I was bleeding profusely, with no sign of stopping.

Mulciber and Avery laughed. "Wonderful. Now would you like to join in with our games? Or was that enough."

Snape had a strange look on his face. It seemed as though he was having an inner conflict but outwardly he was flushed and excited by the pain he was causing me. He waved his wand again and the gash covered up, slightly. It was still trickling blood but I wasn't losing as much. When he did it again, it had healed but only left a mark. The damage was done however, I felt weak, dizzy and disoriented from the loss of blood.

"Aww…why'd you do that?" Avery asked with a pout. Mulciber looked to Snape expectantly. He had his hand resting on the door knob. He spoke in his calm, rather unsettling tone and said, "Thought you'd like to have the fun yourself," with only a slight waver in his voice. His eyes rested on me again before he nodded to the two Slytherins and disappeared through the door, his robes swishing behind him.

Avery and Mulciber laughed together in delight and I watched them, only my eyes moving. Finally Mulciber turned to me.

"So blood traitor…I expect you know why you're here…" He said lifted the silencing spell, because I could suddenly hear my own soft sobs. Feeling relieved, I opened my mouth about to scream before Avery cut me off.

"Don't bother screaming. No one will hear you. Not even your pretty-boy boyfriend".

Sirius. Where was he? He had a knack of finding me whenever I wasn't around. Why, oh why did he have to pick today to go have a drink with the boys, or do whatever he was doing.

"Well blood traitor?" Mulciber snapped at me

"No," I said in a small, terrified voice.

"She doesn't know Avery…" he said with a horrible smirk and a thrilled laugh.

"Why don't you tell her Mulciber?" Avery replied, playing along.

"You almost had me expelled from Hogwarts…" Mulciber said in a soft, threatening voice.

"You almost had me kill someone!" I yelled back, feeling bold.

Avery laughed. "Oh, she has some guts now…Was it Sirius Black? Did your blood traitor boyfriend make you proud of being yourself?"

I bit my lip, suddenly very scared for my life. Sirius was not around now and I could only depend on myself.

"So…since you so kindly tried to get rid of me…I wanted to return the favour. Except I think, I, unlike you…will succeed," Mulciber continued, his lifeless eyes bearing into me.

"You'll be expelled for sure if you kill me," I spat at him.

He and Avery laughed and looked at me condescendingly.

"Ah, but you see MacDonald. We no longer care. There are bigger and better things out there than Albus Dumbledore and his poor excuse for an institution," Avery snapped with such anger, I tried to cower against my chair, although the curse refused to let me do so.

"Oh she's scared, let's undo this curse…" Avery muttered before waving his wand and lifting the curse. Almost instantly however, I felt ropes surround my wrists and ankles, pinning me to the chair. There was more laughter.

"Excellent…I wanted to see her squirm," Mulciber said with such delight, I almost saw a flash of evil red flicker through his eyes.

"So, MacDonald…should I kill you now? Or wait until your precious boyfriend tries to find you and kill you in front of him?"


	35. Chapter 35

_**A/N: Sorry for leaving you hanging. I wanted to wait for the average amount of reviews to show up before I posted, so that everyone was exposed to the cliff. I can't say this one is much better...but the plot will move along significantly next chap. :) Thanks for your love!**_

* * *

Everything Goes Slowly

**SIRIUS POV**

Around 6 in the morning, James, Peter and I stumbled tiredly through the passageway leading from the shrieking shack, leaving Remus to sleep as he turned human again in the light of the morning. We picked up the map and pulled the cloak over ourselves. Peter transformed into a rat and rode on James shoulder as we struggled to keep the cloak from revealing our feet. When we got to the corner near Gryffindor Tower, I emerged with the others still concealed. I muttered the password to the Fat Lady as she tried to probe me for details, as usual. We never really spoke to her when we came back from Full Moon nights although she was dying to know where we were. The boys followed me and flung the cloak from their shoulders as we entered the common room. We were surprised to see there was someone awake.

Evans sat, curled up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket eyeing us. I was too exhausted to say anything so I just flung myself on the armchair nearby wordlessly. Peter sat on the floor and in a few minutes was snoring softly, his head rested on the table. James joined Lily on the sofa but sat on the other end. No one spoke for a few minutes, each of us in our own thoughts. Peter dreaming, James and I surely still thinking about Moony's viciousness tonight. Lily was staring at me for some reason unknown to me.

"Where were you guys tonight?" she asked softly.

"Detention," I muttered unconvincingly.

"Oh don't give me that. It was full moon, Remus would've had to leave hours ago. Not to mention, detentions never go later than two," she snapped.

"Seeing Moony in the Hospital Wing then," I lied easily, not bothered if she didn't believe us. There was no excuse anyway.

"This whole time?" she asked, eyes narrowed.

"Ask us no questions Lil and we'll tell you no lies," James said.

She turned to him, as if she'd only noticed he was there. She nodded.

"Is he ok?"

"Same as always," I replied rubbing my eyes tiredly.

She was quiet and thoughtful for the next few moments.

"Come here Sirius," she said patting the space between her and James. I saw James tighten his jaw and I raised an eyebrow. Her eyes were insistent so I crossed the space between us wordlessly and sat.

She looked at me and tapped the side of my face with her wand. I felt a tingling and then the pain in my face was gone.

"You were bleeding," she said quietly. I supposed I'd forgotten. She looked past me at Prongs who was trying to cover his hand.

"James," she said getting up and squatting in front of him. He slowly uncovered his hand, mangled and ripped up. You could see the flesh, bright and new under the covering of his skin. It had been when he'd reared in front of Moony to prevent him from running into Hogsmeade. She looked shocked and lightly ran a finger around the wounds. He closed his eyes and Lily healed him. Seeing the two of them staring at each other, my mind jumped to Mary.

"Did Mary come back to the dormitory?" I asked Lily who was still holding James' hand. She let go quickly and sat on the floor in front of him, almost leaning against his knees.

"That's actually part of why I was awake. She never came back. I figured she was just working on overload because of exams coming up but she wasn't down here either," Lily bit her lip, worriedly.

"Prongs, map," I demanded. He nodded without objection and passed me the map.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," I muttered, even though it was a lie. I needed to know where she was. I ignored Lily's wide eyes as she saw the tiny dots sitting quite still in certain parts of the map.

"What…" she began but James cut her off with a tired smile.

"Keep a secret Evans? We've made stalking our love interests a little easier," he joked despite the dull mood. I smiled and continued to scan the map.

"Or you have an excellent tool for going through with all those pranks no one understands how you get away with…" she said with a laugh. He grinned back at her.

I was growing impatient. I thought it would be easy, finding one student out of bed, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Where are you…" I whispered tapping the map with my wand. Instantly the other dots disappeared and there was a slight delay. I knew the map was looking for her, for me.

A message popped up in the cursive handwriting we all had James write, which said,

"Mr.Padfoot regrets to inform you that Mary MacDonald cannot be found anywhere plottable at Hogwarts…you stalkerish git."

I laughed at the ending, it was really amusing when the map insulted us especially considering we wrote the charms! But then it registered to me, what had been said.

I passed it to Prongs who scratched his head, puzzled.

"That's never happened before…" he muttered in confusion.

"What does that mean!?" Lily asked desperately. I jumped, forgetting she was there.

"Well…" I began but my throat closed. I shook my head, indicating that I couldn't speak right now. Prongs jumped right in.

"It could mean one of three things," he began in a grim voice and went on when Lily prompted him. "She could be outside of the Hogwarts grounds, at Hogsmeade or something…" he looked at me and I shook my head.

"But Padfoot hasn't shown her the passageway to Honeydukes and I'm certain no one else knows about it."

"Alright, so where is she?" Lily demanded.

"She could be in some unplottable room at Hogwarts which there are a fair few of…there is no way to record where they are," he continued and paused, hoping like I was that that was where she was.

"And the last thing?" Lily asked as I squeezed my eyes shut, as if it would make it impossible to hear what Prongs said next in a dark voice.

"She could be dead."

Lily gasped and clapped a hand to her mouth. "No…no, if that were true wouldn't she turn up as a ghost or something?" she asked me

I shook my head and let Prongs talk. My throat was so tight and I felt like my head was on fire. I had never had this feeling before. But then again, when it came to Mary…it was always a first.

"Not everyone passes on to become a ghost," James said.

"Well we have to find her! Do you know where any of the unplottable rooms are?" Lily asked desperately.

"Yes, but its no use…if she's in there, it has likely sealed itself for any intruders. Unless the person using it didn't know the properties of the room," James was trying to reason things out, trying to fathom a thought as to where Mary might be. But me, a million things were jumbled up in my head and I suddenly spoke,

"She's cheating on me…isn't she?"

Lily slapped me across the face and I growled angrily balling up my fists.

"How could you even think Mary would do that!?" she snapped.

"Well where the hell is she!? And why didn't she tell anyone where she went?" I snapped back.

"Padfoot mate, she's always a bit absent-minded, she probably didn't think anyone would care to know she'd gone to the library," James said fairly.

"Well, she's not in the library, is she!?" I said coldly, standing up. "If she's not in class, we'll report it to Dumbledore. We have to be in class in an hour anyway," I continued, angrily, unable to keep the emotion from my voice.

"Sirius, we need to know if she's ok," Lily said in her gentlest voice.

"SHE IS…she…she's mad at me, for keeping secrets…I drove her away,' I said angrily, not making sense to myself at all.

"Sirius she loves you!" Lily said earnestly.

I collapsed onto the couch again. "Merlin, I hope so!"

"Let's go to Dumbledore," James spoke up, waking up Peter and whispering hurriedly to him. In my periphery I saw that Wormtail had gone up to the dormitory to take a short nap before class, I couldn't even think of sleeping, my eyes were tired but wide open. Lily was at my side patting my back soothingly. I was surprised she cared so much, especially since she was almost as worried as I was.

"You know her. You know she wouldn't do anything like that to you…" Lily was whispering. I turned to look at her and she stopped the circles she was rubbing into my back, bewildered. I suppose my eyes must've been dark because hers looked almost frightened.

"It's almost better…" I muttered.

"What's better?" she asked in a small voice.

"It's better thinking she's safe and hurting me…than wondering if she's dead somewhere."

"Oh Sirius," was all she could say, a tear trickling down her face. She threw her arms around me, trying to soothe me. She was almost like a sister suddenly in that one gesture. She cared so deeply if I was hurting that she just wanted it to stop. I glanced over at Prongs, who was watching with a look I'd never seen before when someone else was close to Lily. It wasn't anger or jealousy but it wasn't happiness or admiration either. It was pure acceptance and it was a mark of James' character that he knew I needed this.

I pulled away from her with a slight nod of thanks and she returned it. Slowly we all walked towards Dumbledore's office.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I couldn't raise my head, it was too exhausted with pain and tiredness that it just hung limp, my chin almost touching my chest. Although I had been in and out of consciousness for what seemed like days but was probably hours, I could still hear Mulciber's throaty voice, clear and strong talking casually with that high-pitched, silky voice of Avery. They were currently discussing Quidditch.

"Well if the bloody Holy-head Harpies would just get kicked out of the league, Grindel's Minstrels would surely have a chance," Avery said.

"Let's get rid of Puddlemere while we're at it," Mulciber said with a laugh.

They were speaking almost humanly. If someone had not known their background they may have been excited to talk with these dignified looking, interesting boys. But suddenly, they saw I was awake and their demeanor changed completely.

"Finally blood-traitor, awake are you? This is such fun!" Avery said with a little laugh. I felt shivers go up my spine, even though I had been sure I'd lost all feeling of my body an hour ago.

"Yes, much better than just killing off a mudblood. We can have fun playing!" Mulciber said cracking his knuckles.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I croaked. At this point I had nothing to lose, the only way was to talk my way out. "Why would you do this to another Pureblood? One who's family has been around for generations? One who's distant relatives are in fact your own?" I tried my best to replicate their mature way of speaking, hoping in some way to relate to them.

Avery pondered this, his wand tapping his chin while Mulciber laughed.

"Blood-traitors are as bad as Mudbloods! Corrupting the purity of their blood by caring for those with dirtiness in their veins," Mulciber retorted angrily.

"I don't love a Muggleborn," I tried desperately, ignoring the fact that my best friend was one.

"Ha! Romantically you love another blood traitor and you love your Mudblood best friend, that Evans girl. Though, I suppose I understand Severus' lust for her," Avery said with a sharp laugh.

"And you're friends with the Werewolf too…" Mulciber muttered.

"The werewolf!? Who is a werewolf?" I asked, in shock.

"That Lupin half-blood."

My mouth dropped, I couldn't believe it. No wonder the boys were constantly worried for Remus, unnaturally every month. I wondered how they were involved when they could do nothing about it. Suddenly all my thoughts and sympathy went to Remus, thinking about the Full Moon tonight, wondered how he managed to still be ok. I forgot for a split second that here I was, being tortured.

"Oh she didn't know…and she isn't even afraid! Blood traitor and Werewolf hugger…you _are_ a Gryffindor…brave and very, very stupid."

"Speaking of brave…I don't see your gallant hero boy running to your rescue? Where is Black, MacDonald?" Avery practically hissed at me. My heart leapt to my throat. Did they want Sirius, is this why they were doing this…because I was close to Sirius?

"What do you want with him!?" I demanded, anger in my voice.

"Oh how cute, she's worried for him!" Mulciber said in a falsetto.

Avery rolled his eyes. "Regulus Black has been a prime candidate for our circle and while the boy is talented, he is still young and the other Black has always been cleverer."

"He's a Gryffindor," I stated, glaring.

They laughed raucously. "A little rebellion does nothing to change an upbringing. Sirius Black's heart is as cold and dark as his last name, regardless of his House," Mulciber said to me, as if I was a small child.

"No…he loves me," I said without doubting it.

"He has lust for you…though I don't pretend to understand why," Mulciber said with a roll of his eyes.

"You know…after you, it'll be your family. Your muggled-obsessed father…your dear, glamorous mother…your gorgeous, precious, wonderful, so-much-better-than-you sister?" He continued, hitting me hard with every word.

"You won't go near my family," I snapped in a rough, savage voice that didn't belong to me.

They exchanged looks and chuckled.

"Ah, feisty one…perhaps I understand Black's lust now," Avery said with a sickening grin. My eyes widened with fright. Suddenly I was even more scared of what they might do before they killed me.

"Oh don't look so excited my dear, I wouldn't touch your traitorous skin with a ten-foot pole," Avery said, looking at Mulciber with a grin, perhaps at the sleazy, pathetic, attempted innuendo. Suddenly I heard the clattering of feet, I supposed we could hear outside and they couldn't hear us, so a plan quickly formulated in my head.

"What are you going to do when they realize that you're missing from class? Lily Evans will know I've been gone for ages now…what will you do when they remember the allegations I held against you a few years ago? Do you really suppose Dumbledore won't have you thrown into Azkaban as soon as he finds us?"

They didn't laugh for once, they were quiet, looking at each other, talking with their eyes.

"You don't think Dumbledore knows how to get into this room? For goodness sakes you don't think Sirius and his friends will come look themselves? The know this castle better than anyone else. Otherwise how else would they have turned your hair red and gold back in third year?" I asked, taunting them. It was difficult with the little confidence I had. Somehow though, it seemed to be working. Avery was mumbling incoherently and Mulciber looked thoughtful.

"Well," he said recovering, "It has begun to smell a bit, with your blood all over the place. Let's go Avery. No one will find her, we'll just spread a little rumour or something."

Avery nodded and sent one last Cruciatus curse at me. I thrashed around in pain as they left still chuckling.

I wanted to move, I really did. I desperately wanted to make it out of this cold, hard, painful place and go to Sirius and be in his arms. The problem was I was simply too weak to move and instead drifted off into a troubled slumber.

* * *

_**A/N: I think I'll have to change this rating to a T...what d'you reckon? ANd what did you think of the chapter?**_


	36. Chapter 36

_**A/N: You guys are fantastic. This is now a T rated story. Hope you are enjoying and that the suspense is killing you! That means I did what I intended.**_

* * *

Does Dumbledore Make it All Better?

**SIRIUS POV**

"So you say she is missing?" Dumbledore asked us in a thoughtful voice.

"Yes Professor, the last we saw her was around 6 in the evening. Sirius, James, Peter and I were walking to the Gryffindor Common Room," Lily explained.

"We had detention, so Remus was walking his friend back to Ravenclaw tower and we were walking the girls back to ours. Lily went inside and Sirius said goodbye to Mary and we went to detention," James added.

Dumbledore nodded and his eyes flickered to me. I wondered bizarrely for a moment if he'd ever thought of having me in for counseling sessions like I so often thought I needed.

"And she didn't return to the common room Lily?" he asked, turning to her. She was perched on the arm of the chair I was sat in, a hand on my back, still rubbing soothing circles into it. I sighed and closed my eyes. Suddenly I was very depressed. I wondered what would happen if we'd alerted Dumbledore and she had just been off with some other boy. There was a jab of pain in my chest as I thought of this. I didn't want to even imagine the other alternative. Losing Mary to someone else, as painful as the thought was, was easier to think about than losing her altogether.

"No Sir, but she'd mentioned going to the Library earlier, so I just assumed that's where she was."

"I see…" Dumbledore stroked his long, white beard and I had a strange desire to yank it. Why was he taking so long to process this!? Wasn't he meant to be some kind of genius?

"What class would she have now?" he asked, not looking at any of us, as if he was still thinking.

"She'd have Transfiguration with Professor McGonagall and us," James answered.

"Very well. I shall send a message along to Professor McGonagall and Madame Pince. I suppose I ought to also contact Madame Pomfrey to see if she is in the Hospital Wing."

We nodded awkwardly, wondering what we should do in the meantime.

"You are welcome to stay. I am sure Mr.Pettigrew will be taking notes for your ill friend, Mr.Lupin, so I am sure you may borrow those."

James and I had a moment where we looked at each other with a strange desire to laugh. Wormtail taking notes? James always did that for Moony. He was the only one with the attention span and capability to be useful.

"Sirius, are you ok?" Lily was saying. I was suddenly aware of the slight smirk on my face and the fact that I hadn't said a word in the whole time we were there. I nodded ever so slightly and watched with fascination as Dumbledore sent three silvery Phoenixes off into the halls. I couldn't wait to be able to make a Patronus. James could already make silvery wisps come from his wand. I guess the one thing we'll be missing out on is wondering about the shape our Patronuses would take. As Animagi it seemed obvious.

"He's fine Lily," James lied. He knew I just wanted to be left alone.

There was about five minutes of silence as Lily rubbed my back, James tapped his foot unconsciously and Dumbledore paced in front of us. Soon, I heard voices and in came McGonagall, Pince and Poppy. They eyed us and turned to Dumbledore.

"I have called you in because I wondered if any of you knew the whereabouts of Mary MacDonald."

The three witches looked at each other briefly before Poppy spoke.

"No Professor, the only person in my Hospital Wing is Remus Lupin, who is very ill currently."

She said it with a dark significance and a secrecy that only the other teachers were meant to understand. She had no idea that every one in the room had a good idea why Remus was 'ill'.

"Is he ok?" James spoke up. I was grateful. I had wanted to ask myself but I couldn't get any words out right now. I looked to Poppy with the same interest as James.

"He will be fine by tonight," she said.

I wonder if she ever suspects we know already. We're in there every time he's 'sick', talking in low whispers. She must know. Blimey, grown-ups can be stupid.

James and I nodded and turned expectantly to Madame Pince next.

"No Professor, I haven't seen Miss MacDonald in the library since Friday, although I admit I was surprised, she is always there on Sundays."

I was surprised too. Who would've known Madame Pince took so much notice of her students.

"I see…Minerva?"

"She hasn't been in class today. Half of my class is missing," she paused eyeing us sternly, but I noticed there was sympathy too. "I did see her pass by my classroom around six thirty yesterday evening however….but-"

She paused again and shook her head as if it wasn't important,

"What!?" I blurted out. It was the first time I'd spoken and Lily and Professor Dumbledore looked taken aback. James was studying me with worry.

"Excuse me Mr.Black?" McGonagall glared at me.

"Sorry Professor, but I noticed you were about to say something but stopped yourself…" I said in my most polite tone. She looked mildly shocked. I was always so cheeky around her that she'd grown accustomed to it. She seemed completely caught off guard at my stiff, polite voice. Everyone forgets I grew up in the Black household. The oldest of pureblood rules is dignified politeness. No playful banter, no cheek. Only stiff, cold manners were permitted. Maybe that's why I try so hard to be impolite.

McGonagall just stood staring at me, confused and interested in what was going on in my head.

"Minerva, did you have anything else to say?" Dumbledore spoke up, coming to our aid.

She woke up from her trance and turned her attention to him. "Well, I try very much to ignore student rumours, but I couldn't help but overhear her name quite a few times today during breakfast and before class."

"What were they saying Professor?" James asked.

"Well…" she looked embarrassed to be relaying gossip to us. "It was said that Richard Davies and Mary spent the night together yesterday. And…when I saw her pass my classroom, she was with Davies." Her eye went to me, looking more school-girlish than I had ever cared to imagine.

"Hmm," Dumbledore said stroking his beard again. My face was hot and I felt sweaty and bothered. Unknown to me, I was now clutching the side of my chair with furious anger.

"No! That's just a rumour! A coincidence! It can't be true at all. Mary would never,"  
Lily defended her, staring at me.

"Miss Evans, I never said I believed it. I am merely relaying what I heard…" McGonagall said in an offended voice.

"Well, I suppose we needn't have bothered you Professor…" I said to Dumbledore getting up abruptly knocking into Lily accidentally. I felt dizzy but fought hard to appear composed. She stumbled and James caught her from falling on the floor. She blushed as he steadied her on the arm of the seat. All the while however, he was staring at me, as if trying to figure out some puzzle or riddle.

"Sirius, stop. You know those rumours aren't true," he said quietly, so only Lily and I could hear. I'm positive Dumbledore heard too but pretended he didn't.

"I don't know what is true anymore! And it's the only thing we've heard isn't it!? How can you two have such bloody blind faith in people!? People are supposed to earn trust and…." I was yelling at Lily and James who were both standing now, together, facing me.

"Mary hasn't earned it?" Lily finished skeptically.

I sunk back in my chair and shook my head. "She has. I just…I don't know anymore."

I saw their looks of sympathy. Why couldn't I be like them? I was so afraid to trust the fact that someone like Mary could never hurt me. Why did it seem so much easier to believe this rumour?

"Let's not jump to conclusions based on hearsay Sirius. Madame Pince, will you fetch Richard Davies, a Sixth Year Ravenclaw? Miss Pomfey, you ought to return to your patient," Dumbledore said calmly. They nodded and scurried off and McGonagall looked on questioningly.

"Shall I return to my class Albus?" she asked.

"Actually, I fear this may be a more serious matter. Perhaps you should dismiss them." He asked it like a question but it was definitely a statement. Wordlessly McGonagall nodded and swept out of the room.

Then there was more waiting. James had his arm around Lily now, comforting her. I keep forgetting that I'm not the only one freaking out right now. I keep forgetting that Lily is her best friend. James adores Mary too. They are both equally worried about what was happening, but were putting me first. I felt a fierce pride rush into my body for being friends with the two of them. I found myself hoping, despite all that was happening, that they would finally get together. It seemed like they were the perfect balance. I noticed Dumbledore opened his mouth once, as if to say something to me, but thought better of it. I didn't have the guts to ask him to say what he was thinking like I did with McGonagall. Maybe I just didn't want to know what his theories were though.

Suddenly, there he was. Davies. He looked confused and apprehensive as he entered the room with Madame Pince.

"That will be all Madame Pince," Dumbledore said kindly and she curtsied before returning to her precious books.

"Mr.Davies, please come in. Take a seat," he said to Davies who was now staring at us with confusion. He nodded and made his way to the seat beside me. I felt suddenly furious and wished our chairs were further apart.

"I am about to ask you something about Mary MacDonald. In particular, the rumours that are circulating about you and Miss MacDonald," he peered at Davies over his half moon spectacles. "I take it you've heard them?"

Davies nodded silently in response and I stood up angrily, walking to the back of the room. James followed, creating a shield between Davies and myself. I glared at him but he just shook his head. I saw that Lily and Dumbledore were watching with both interest and worry.

"If you should prefer that Sirius leave the room when you choose answer me Richard. And you will answer truthfully, then I shall certainly have him leave."

I felt James hands clasp around my shoulders. I suppose I must've looked like I was going to kill, because that was the way I felt.

Davies looked at me, and I saw a strange, sad expression on his face.

"No Sir, he can stay. I have nothing to hide from him."

It only made me angrier. Didn't he care? Wasn't he worried I would beat him to a bloody pulp if he had touched Mary?

"Well then, I must ask you if you were with Mary MacDonald at all last night," Dumbledore said.

I moved with James shuffling in front of me, so that I could see Davies face. He had an eyebrow raised, surprised at the Headmaster's straightforwardness.

"I bumped into her around six or six thirty in the Transfiguration hallway. I walked with her a while and I…I asked her about her relationship with Black."

"Where was she going?" Dumbledore asked.

"She was headed to the Library. I won't deny that I tried to convince her that Black would just move on to another girl without another glance in her direction and I was the one who really cared about her."

"What did she say?" Lily whispered and Dumbledore allowed it.

"She said that she thought I was a conceited prat and Black was twice the man I'd ever be," he said reluctantly with a frown. I suppose lying in front of Dumbledore is something you just don't do. Especially when he so unexpectantly asks about your personal life.

My mouth twitched and James smirked at me. I felt a sudden weight lift from my shoulders before a different feeling came over me. Now I wasn't angry. I was scared.

"I encouraged the rumours, but the truth is Mary left me after five minutes and headed straight in the direction of the Library," Richard said with a shrug.

"Right. Thank you Mr.Davies. You may go back to class now," Dumbledore said with a slight smile.

He nodded, getting up. "Is she ok?" he asked.

"We don't know yet Richard," Dumbledore said kindly and Davies looked at me and an expression unfamiliar to him appeared on his face. He looked worried for me. Our gaze didn't break until Davies was out of the room.

"Now…I will have to request that you three return to your classes. I will begin a search for Mary. If I am correct in my assumption, I believe she was probably abducted somewhere between the Transfiguration hallway and the Library, so there is where I will begin."

"Are you having a laugh!?" I spluttered incredulously. I had never been rude to Dumbledore, but right now I was furious. He wanted us to go to class? Forget that our friend, my girlfriend was nowhere to be found!?

Dumbledore looked at me with his piercing blue eyes. "I will forgive your tone this once Mr.Black because I am aware that you are distressed, but do not presume I will be this kind if it happens again."

I sighed in frustration and James glared at me warningly.

"I'm sorry Professor, but can't we help please?" I asked weakly, trying my polite voice again. I saw the sympathy in his face for a moment but he shook his head.

"Losing more students is not a risk I am willing to take Mr.Black. These are dark and dangerous times."

"That Wizard…the Dark one who's all over the papers? You don't think…" Lily asked her voice breaking.

"Well I can't say Lord Voldemort would enter Hogwarts for a simple pureblood or a 'blood traitor' as he might put it. But I can't say I won't worry that there are people in this school, Death Eaters in the making, who sympathise with his ideals and so…are using Mary as an example."

Though we were confused, he refused to go on and ushered us out.

"Oh what is going to happen!?" Lily asked tearfully. James looked pale and squeezed her hand which no one had realized he was holding. She looked at him, confused for a moment before she whispered, "You were very mature in there. Calm…I almost didn't believe it was real."

James smiled slightly and shrugged. "You were just as calm. There was no point in getting worked up. Losing our minds won't get us any closer to finding Mary."

I listened to their quiet conversation and the looks of admiration being passed between them. Despite feeling like I was invading a private moment in their slowly developing relationship, I felt my breath catch. I glared at them determinedly.

"If they won't let us help. We'll take matters into our own hands…" I said, noting their approving but worried expressions.

I'd find her. I wasn't letting her go that easy.


	37. Chapter 37

_**A/N: I hope you'll all forgive my absence. I was currently completely engrossed in the Twilight series. I just finished the third book and I started the first 4 days ago. I think I have a new obsession although it couldn't take me away from my beloved favourite series. HP will always be my fave. Anyway, this chapter is pretty good I think...you actually might (if you know Twlight) see some of that influence in the way they come up with a plan...bouncing off ideas and anticipating the enemies move...hahah oh dear, will I suddenly start writing Twlight fanfic?? Anyway - enjoy and thanks :)**_

* * *

Formulating a Plan

**MARY POV**

I awoke for the third time to nothing. No Sirius holding my hand by me deathbed. No weeping Lily professing that it was all over. And most thankfully, no Death Eaters awaiting my arousal to inflict more torture upon me. I raised my head, the little I could manage and looked around the room with squinting eyes. It was the first time I'd really surveyed the room since I'd been here, for what seemed like days but was probably still under the 24 hour mark. It was uncomfortably dim and cold in this room and I wondered if it might be in the dungeons. No, that was too easily found, I remembered that today was Monday and it meant we had Potions in the afternoon. Sirius would instinctively know if I was close I hoped. We had become strangely attuned to each other's presence, I suppose it was our magical abilities that intensified this muggle-like bond, but the knowledge of its existence only made me feel worse. I couldn't be in the dungeons. They would've found me already. My gaze flickered to the desk in the corner. It was there more as a prop than a necessity. The only thing of significance that lay there was my wand. Long and fragile looking as it lay motionless on the dark oak of the table. I sighed, staring at it. I willed desperately for it, hoping that there was enough magic in me to bring it to my fingertips. "Accio wand," I thought hard. It lay still.

"Accio wand!" I whispered out loud. Still, the long willow stick, with dragon heartstring cores lay stubbornly motionless.

"Sirius," I said louder. I sighed again. It was no use. I was put in an impossible situation. An impossible room with no escape and no way to break free. The Death Eaters had covered all bases to my surprise. I had never thought much of Avery or Mulciber's intelligence. I suppose being evil and conniving made it easier to secure a fool-proof plan.

"Let me out" I thought desperately and a door opened. My eyes widened with shock. Was it really that easy? Begging to be let out. But suddenly, as quick as it had appeared, the entranceway resealed itself and I realized, even if it opened, there was no way of escaping the magically enhanced chains that kept me locked in this sitting position. I thought carelessly of the pain I felt in my rear. It really was uncomfortable sitting for such long amounts of time. What an irrational discomfort to feel at a time like this. I laughed. But it was hollow and didn't sound like me. I tried again but now it sound hysterical. I suppose that's what I was. Hysterical and hopeless. Even without the Cruciatus Curse's after effects, I knew I would feel this way. My mind, nor confidence had ever been strong enough to fight the will that I might be better than this.

I wasn't good enough to escape this situation.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

Bizarrely, we didn't fly immediately into combat or hunting or searching at all. Bizzarely, we had gone to the Hospital Wing to visit Remus.

"Don't you have class to go to?" Poppy had asked with a stiff mouth as she opened the great big wooden doors.

"Miss Pomfrey, if your friend was missing and you couldn't do anything to change that and your other friend was lying deathly ill in a hospital bed, wouldn't you think of class as less important?" Lily had asked in a calm, practical voice.

Poppy pressed her lips together, making her look much older, more motherly in her appearance but she put up no further fight.

"Mr.Lupin will be perfectly fine," she snapped in a quiet voice before bustling away into her office. Forgetting for a moment that we were facing the very sickening thought of our Mary being dead…we laughed. We laughed together happily, heading straight to a confused but eager Remus.

"But what if she's trapped somewhere impossible, 'the whenever rooms' at Hogwarts are totally unpredictable!" Moony whispered urgently. He had been utterly distressed when we'd filled him in and I even saw an inkling of guilt in his expression. He felt bad that she'd disappeared while I was off taking care of him. I didn't blame him of course. Who could blame anyone anyway? We'd put Dumbledore's cryptic words into something that half made sense. Mulciber must have taken her. He must be hiding her, torturing her in some place, which we couldn't find. Whether it was a trap or simply an act of pleasure for his delusion, sickly head we didn't know. But we'd come to the conclusion that it had to be him. No one else had ever noticed Mary nor hated her enough to take her away from us. Of course there were the girls who were impossibly in love with me. But none of them could get the better of Mary. I remembered suddenly with nostalgia of the time she beat me in a duel.

"Why are you smiling Sirius?" Prongs snapped at me, dragging me from my thoughts.

"Just thinking," I muttered.

"Leave him alone," Lily said with finality. I'd have to thank her when this was all over. She'd be a bridesmaid at Mary and my wedding, I'd be the best man for her and James, once they got themselves together enough to act on their love.

"The problem is, we can't pin it on Mulciber when he's in class…he thought it through obviously. I bet he and Avery planted that rumour to throw us off. I suppose the idea of Davies trying to steal Mary back was a more plausible thing to believe," James said cuttingly. I was angry with him, it was almost as if he thought I'd wasted time thinking of other reasons for her being missing. This was a challenge and an adventure to him, but for once he didn't seem to understand that I would've preferred any alternative over this. She could've been being initiated to Voldemort's inner circle for all I care…as long as she was still alive.

"Well, what we need is a spy. We need someone to trail Mulciber, once he leaves class. I'll bet my entire stash of Honeyduke's chocolate on the fact that he'll go back to where she is," Remus murmured, watching as Poppy darted around the room, straightening the sheets on the beds, trying desperately to hear our conversation. Lily watched and noticed her presence too and sighed with impatience.

"Muffliato," she whispered pointing her wand at Poppy who stopped suddenly and put a finger in her ear as if she was trying to get rid of water. Moments later, she looked put out and went back to her office.

"What was that?" James asked curiously. He looked impressed, as I was at Lily making Poppy leave so abruptly. She blushed and looked at the bed as she said,

"It's a spell Severus made up a few years ago, it puts a little buzzing in people's ears so they can't hear what's going on nearby," she explained.

I saw James' mouth tighten, but no one said anything choosing to ignore the fact that she'd mentioned Snivellus.

"It comes in handy, you have to admit…" she said.

"Anyway, we could get Peter to trail him, it won't be suspicious since he's the only one who's been in class all day," Remus went on, pausing to cringe at the thought of deciphering Wormtail's terrible class notes. "He could, you know, and no one would be the wiser!"

James and I immediately recognized the brilliance and beamed with delight.

"Brilliant Moony!" I said suddenly a lot more hopeful.

"We have to get a message to him!" James said clapping his hands with excitement.

"Wait, wait, hold on….just what are you lot talking about. What will he do!? I hardly think Peter will be inconspicuous…everyone knows who he's friends with," Lily interrupted, looking at us pointedly. We all sighed. Somehow we knew this was going to come up. Lily knew too much already for her not to figure it out eventually.

"Wormtail will forgive us for telling right?" James said looking at me.

"I'm sure he'll understand, considering what's happening," Remus replied for me.

Lily's eyes were darting furiously from face to face trying to understand what was happening. I chuckled, despite my foul mood.

"Calm down Evans, we're about to tell you."

"Well go on then!" she said glaring at James who sighed.

"Know why we have these nicknames Evans?"

Lily frowned. "Yeah…you guys explained it to us in Hogsmeade that one time."

We all laughed and she frowned harder.

"Obviously a lie," Remus said with a smile. "Mine is easy to guess…Moony."

"Because you're a…" she breathed understanding.

"Yes, now the others only make sense if you know the rest of the story," he went on with a grim nod looking at James to tell it. He always felt guilty about what we'd done so that we could spend time with him during his hardest moments.

"We're Animagi," James explained, ignoring the skeptical but also shocked expression on Evans' face. "When we found out about Remus' furry little problem in Second Year, we wanted to also figure out a way to be with him."

"So he wouldn't have to suffer the whole time, so that it wouldn't be the worst time of his month…" I added.

"So," James continued, "we worked really hard in Transfiguration, broke into the Library late at night and studied constantly. Ever notice how Moony isn't as good at Transfiguration as the rest of us? He's good…but he only helped us study, he never needed to figure out how to do it himself."

Remus scoffed. "Not to mention, turning into a Monster is already hard enough."

I laughed. "It took us forever, we tried so hard to do it but we only managed in Fifth Year. I'm a dog, Pete's a rat and James is a stag."

James nodded and looked at Lily who had a faraway expression in her eyes.

"Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail and Prongs…" she said looking at nothing.

"Yeah, its how we help Remus get through the bad times, we have control with him and he's just playful…though he can be pretty feisty when he wants," James said looking at Remus who grinned sadly.

"Or dangerously vicious."

"Nah, you're like a pet wolf," I said nonchalantly making my friends smile.

Lily finally smiled too. "To think I thought you were off doing gang-related things, fighting people who hate werewolf…I had so many theories every time I saw all your scars."

James laughed and I grinned, amused. "Gang-related…sounds cool, eh mate?" I said to James who smirked.

"Shut up. Oh now I regret not asking you for help in Transfiguration! I always just thought you were exceptionally bright…it made me jealous."

"We are exceptionally bright Lily…you should be jealous," I teased making her laugh as she broke her gaze from James'.

"All the same, you had to study really hard to do it."

"Look, back to the topic at hand…Wormtail will be here soon. He's got a free next," Remus said glancing at the clock.

It brought me surging back to reality. I had forgotten momentarily that the reason our secrets were coming out so freely to Lily was because we needed desperately to concoct a plan to save Mary. My Mary who was missing and could be dead somewhere already for all I knew. I glanced at the map, which was in my pocket, left unmanaged, the words of Mary's unplottable location still on it. The lump in my throat was back, worse than ever.

"Did you find her?' Wormtail asked, entering the room with a yawn. He looked as tired as I felt, except he'd had an hour of sleep. We'd sent him a few messages, using some of our specially designed notepaper to update him on the situation. The Marauders stuck together through everything.

"No, but listen…we have a plan. We think Mulciber's the one who's got her," Remus explained gesturing quickly for the seat empty near his bed.

"Mulciber? He's been in class all day…so has Avery," Wormtail said raising an eyebrow as he sat.

"That's just to throw us off. We need to follow him after Potions, see where he goes. He'll definitely go straight back to where he left her," James explained. I still couldn't speak apparently.

He nodded before something suddenly dawned on him. He's much better with realizations when we're plotting something than he is during everyday life. Lily was lucky, she was seeing a rarely viewed side of him. The side we liked so much, it was worth dealing with his silly questions and annoying adoration all the other times. He was as fiercely loyal as the rest of us.

"So I'm transforming and following them? Where will I do it?"

"Well, I thought you could duck quickly into the Prefect's bathroom after Potions, it's the closest and people never go in there. The password is Gillywater," James said.

"How'd you know that one? Remus…you didn't tell did you!?" she asked.

James chuckled. "Nah, it's the one thing we couldn't get out of him, but its easy enough to find out when Sally Young has a crush on me."

"The Hufflepuff Fourth Year?" Lily asked with narrowed eyes. I wanted to laugh. She was jealous! Of Sally Young of all people. James nodded, a tiny smirk on his face. He was going to be so thrilled when he finally got his way.

"Anyway, so Pete you'll duck into the bathroom…get out of class as quickly as you can so you'll have time to see where they head," Remus said ignoring the natural teenage exchange that had just happened.

"Alright and then, you'll see where I am on the map? Or will I go in after them by myself?" Peter asked putting on a brave front.

I choked as I said the next words, "No Wormtail, I could never ask you to do that for me…we'll find you on the map and we'll all come. Four against one or two is better than any of us alone."

"Five!" Lily corrected and my eyes went immediately to her in horror.

"No! No, absolutely not…we will not be putting you in any danger at all. You'll be in the Common Room waiting with the map, safe!" James said firmly with anger on the edge of his tone.

Lily glared at him. "I duel as well as you, do not make my gender the reason your forces are weaker."

"You're not coming Lily," I said simply and Remus and Peter nodded furiously in agreement. James was glaring at her.

"You are all ridiculous. Just because I'm a girl, you think I'll sit around waiting for you all to put yourselves in danger, looking for my best friend? I want to help!"

"Lily it's not even so much that you're a girl. It's your blood…they'll take pleasure in turning from blood traitors to a muggleborn," I replied calmly, the lump in my throat tighter but less prominent in my mind.

"Well, so what? Remus, Peter…they're half bloods, and Potter is from the biggest blood traitor family in the Wizarding World, not to mention you ditched your Noble family in every possible way!" She shot back, sounding like an angry child.

"The fact that you think your blood or your gender is the reason any of us is stopping you go is the stupidest thing I've ever heard," James snapped with enormous anger that shocked us all. "I won't let you go because I couldn't stand to lose you and THEY won't let you go because if not because they feel the same way then because they couldn't bear seeing ME that way!" he said in a low, pained dangerous voice.

Her eyes were glassy and she looked close to beaten before she spoke.

"If you think I don't have the exact same feelings about each of you…then you are much, much stupider than I ever dreamed James."

Was that it? Had she just admitted her love for him too? It all seemed insignificant suddenly. After all, what they were talking about was something that was suddenly very real to me. Losing Mary and having to live with that…

"Fine. Lily will come," Remus said in his calm, soothing voice. James flashed him a dangerous look but he continued anyway. "But you'll wear the cloak and stay behind us."

Lily glared but finally nodded knowing this was the best she could get.

"Alright then, I should get to Potions. I suppose we'll discuss this more when I lead you to their location," Peter said standing up shakily.

"You're the best kind of spy Petey, all business…." Moony said with a smile, ruffling his hair. It lightened the mood a little and we all laughed. It felt good despite the aching dread I felt as Wormtail left the room and we were left to wait, a little longer. Ha! I wondered if Dumbledore is even a little bit close to tracking down the trail. I don't pretend to know all of Hogwart's secrets, but I was arrogantly sure of one thing…The Marauders knew much more than Albus Dumbledore.

* * *

_**A/N: More action than just sitting and planning in the next chap for sure! Until then, review please!! :)**_


	38. Chapter 38

_**A/N: I can't say anything. I love you all though. You are the best reviewers in the world. **_

* * *

The Battle

**SIRIUS POV**

It felt useless sitting here. Impatiently in the Prefect bathroom waiting around for Peter to lead us to where they were. We had decided rather than using the map, we should just wait for him to come back to us so we could get ourselves together and organized. Not for the first time I glanced at the watch on my wrist. It had been fifteen minutes since he left and class was over. Surely Avery and Mulciber must be back with Mary now. Once we knew where they were we'd have to act fast. I was afraid if we didn't it might be too late.

"Sirius will you give it a rest, my head hurts," Lily said in a quiet voice rubbing her temples. I looked up from my thoughts in surprise.

"You're growling mate," James explained in an equally quiet voice. "Moony are you sure you're ok being here, Poppy didn't look convinced…" he went on without skipping a beat.

"Prongs, I'm fine! Just a little tired but I'm always tired right? She's my friend too…I need to know she's ok too."

"Where the hell is Pete?!" I wondered out loud and started pacing back in forth in front of a wary Lily. She watched, moving only her eyes as I walked from one side of the room to the other. Finally she seemed to stop staring and look at James.

"Are you quite sure no one will get suspicious when they can't get in here?" she asked skeptically.

"The spell isn't preventing them from coming in Lil. It's making them think they don't want to!" James replied, explaining as if it was for the third time.

"I just don't want to get in trouble," she muttered.

I laughed hollowly, bitterly. "Well Lily, I'm sure by the time we find Mary the last thing you need to be worried about getting in trouble for is using the Prefect's Bathroom as a hideout with another Prefect and two hoodlums…"

She bit her lip and nodded as if accepting that really bad things might happen today. I'd accepted it a while ago. If I had to die to save Mary, so be it.

"Wormtail!" Remus breathed the sigh of relief I had built in my throat.

"Room of Requirement…" he said with a grim face.

"Oh bollocks!" James said angrily punching the wall. He did exactly what I felt like doing but I tried to keep calm instead.

"Did you manage to pick up on any of their…thoughts?" I asked him carefully.

"Why would I Sirius? How? They're not animals too…"

"In one way…" Remus muttered angrily.

"Well if you know where this Requirement Room is…then why can't we get in?" Lily asked confused.

"Its not that its difficult to find where it comes up Lil…its that we need to be very specific in what we ask for to make it appear and be the same room where they're keeping her. And we have the odds against us because they probably know how to keep intruders out with their thoughts too!"

Lily still looked confused but nodded. "Alright…so what if we all thought, asked for a room where Mulciber was keeping Mary with the intention of keeping us out? Something like that…if there's five of us trumping their wishes, shouldn't the room want to cater to the larger group and let us in?"

We all paused, staring at her revelation.

"It might work…" Moony finally said.

'We'll have to make sure we mention Avery in our thoughts too…he was there," Wormtail put in thoughtfully as a smile crept onto Lily's face.

"It's worth a shot," I grumbled at her hopeful face.

"You are bloody brilliant woman…" James said shaking his head and making her blush.

"Alright, once we're in…we need a plan. There will be a lot of Dark magic being thrown around, we need to make sure one of us gets to Mary while the others distract them," Remus said rubbing his hands together.

"Aw Moony, can't we just act on instinct?" James whined a little, but I agreed,

"Over thinking things never got anyone anywhere!"

"Don't be so foolishly reckless! Don't put her and us in more danger because you'd rather be alpha males about this!" Lily said persistently.

"It couldn't hurt to have a plan," Wormtail said looking frightened.

"We agreed you'll be under the cloak Lily! We are not putting you in any danger!" James said fiercely and she looked back stubbornly.

"Who said you had anything to do with it?! I'm putting myself in danger to save my friend."

"Lily, you'll be under the cloak. We can use that," Remus spoke up tired but patient.

"How?" she asked.

"Moony's right, they won't expect you to be there, so if it looks like some of us are losing, or we need some clever charm work to confuse them, you can do it Lil!" James said much more happily.

"Alright, well I think, we should think of an order of combat…One of you will take Mulciber, another person could send some spells at both of them before getting Mary free, while I cover them from under the cloak…"

"And the other two will take Avery…once they're both out, take their wands and snap them," James added.

"We'll have to find hers too, to make sure they don't get it…" Moony went on thoughtfully.

I was lucky my hearing was so wonderfully organized. I heard the rest of the plan while I thought of Mary. Her silly fringe, her doleful green eyes, her awkward demeanor around everyone except those she was close to. How she might very well be dead as we spoke. Oh bollocks.

"Did you see her Wormtail?" I spoke up suddenly and they all turned to me. I suppose they were surprised that I'd finally spoken, though I hadn't done so throughout their long deliberation of our plan.

Wormtail's lip quivered and his eyes looked scared as he nodded.

"Wha…How..Is?" I mumbled, but I couldn't get any sentence to come out fully.

"She's still alive Sirius, they were laughing about what they would do next…" he said quietly, afraid of the way I was reacting. He thought I might lash out at him, but I was saving all my fury for something else. The lump in my throat was bigger than ever and my eyes burned. I knew from the angle at which I stood, only James could see me but he politely looked away, and listened to Wormtail as I tried to gather my emotions.

Breathe in. Breathe Out. Repeat

"But she looked exhausted and frail and hurt. She's tied in the center of a room to a chair with unbreakable chains. We might have to cut the chair out of the floor altogether…" he said warily.

"That won't work, one of us might cut her with the spell and I doubt she could take any more harm at this point," Remus put in.

"We could be careful! I bet we could cut the chains off altogether if we were careful enough," James said boisterously.

"No James, being careful takes more time and then there's more risk. And if I were to do it under the cloak, they would notice immediately and surely find me and kill me," Lily said in a tight little voice.

"There's no need for the cutting spell," I spoke up in a harsh, choked up voice. I drew my knife from my pocket and tossed it to James. He caught it deftly, examined it and then tossed it back to me.

"A knife which will open any lock," he explained to the bewildered others. "Sirius, you'll be the one to do it," he stated, despite knowing this was the last thing I wanted to do.

I shook my head angrily. "No James! Someone else will. I'm fighting Mulciber."

He sighed and shrugged. "Worth a shot wasn't it?"

"Why? Why would you try and stop him anyway?" Lily asked. I felt guilty, she wasn't as attuned to us as the rest of us were to each other. We couldn't read each others' thoughts in our human forms but we could definitely read expressions and somehow being friends long as we were, we understood what that meant.

"Because…he wants to kill Mulciber," James explained darkly despite the warning look Remus shot him. I suppose it was best she didn't know. I knew she was going to try and stop me.

"You will not kill anyone Sirius! We will catch him and have him locked away in Azkaban for life, but you won't be a murderer. None of you will!" she snapped angrily and firmly glaring at each and every one of us in turn.

I sighed and looked at James who had the same expression. There was no defying Lily apparently.

"Not to mention, if you killed him and got Mary safe, she'd kill you herself before you had to go to Azkaban," Lily said darkly and somehow I knew it was true.

"Fine, fine, no killing," I said putting my hands up in defeat.

"Just safe little spells like Expelliarmus," James muttered rolling his eyes.

"Oh I'm sure you can be more imaginative than that!" Lily said remarkably cheerfully as we all headed out of the bathroom following Peter who for the first time in his life was leading us.

* * *

**MARY POV**

I watched with utter fear as I woke up and realized they had returned, laughing maliciously when they saw I could barely move my head at all anymore.

"Oh she's not even done yet!" Avery said happily but Mulciber looked disappointed.

"I had hoped, she'd lost her mind already."

"What - before we kill her Mulciber? What fun would that be?" Avery said pouting.

"Just kill me now…" I whispered.

Mulciber's displeased frown curled up into a smirk. "When your friends are probably coming up with a plan right as we speak? None of them were in class you know…."

I felt a spark of hope in my heart. They would come for me. I just needed to make it through until they came for me. I would live. I would still be with Sirius in a couple of days. I smiled at this thought, beside myself but it displeased them. They grunted, not having fun anymore and began using the dreaded torture curse on me. I tried desperately to hold it in but instead I just opened my mouth and screamed, loud, hard and painfully. But then, heard it. I don't know how long I had been tortured, but I knew I wasn't imagining it. It was the frustrating pounding, pacing, yells. In a voice and tone, I'd recognize anywhere. They were here now and I would be ok. But how could they get in. Suddenly I remember my trick from yesterday.

"Let me out…" I thought hard and fiercely and the door sprung open. I caught the surprise and relief on his face as he barged his way in, wand out and followed closely by his friends. Through drooping eyes, I watched as James began to duel with Avery. Soon Remus was at James' side and they were overpowering Avery's quick hand. Peter was looking around desperately, he seemed frozen in place. None of the spells he tried to send towards the Death Eaters troubled them in the slightest. There were flashes of light coming from a random spot in the room and I wondered if that meant I was crazy. Atleast they were hitting close to the Death Eaters and not my saviours. I could see with horrible alarm that Sirius had gashes all over his arms and he growled in pain but ignored it and kept dueling furiously with the frightening Mulciber. Suddenly Sirius hit Mulciber with a stunner, but because of the size of the brute and the slightly off aim, he was only dizzy for a moment. Sirius looked triumphant, cheeky enough to shoot me a look of smugness, I smiled the best I could and I saw worry flicker in his eyes.

_Why was he fading suddenly?? I wasn't really passing out again was I?_

Things came back into focus because Sirius was laughing, dodging the furious amount of spells being thrown at him. Always so reckless: he was taunting Mulciber now. I'd have to tell him to stop being such a cocky git when we got out of this. If we got out of this… Suddenly Mulciber grinned, an idea coming to him. I braced myself. Would he just kill me now to get to Sirius?

No. He shot at Peter first and the round bellied boy crumpled to the floor. I wanted to yell to them, tell them it was a trap to trick them. Peter had only reacted badly to the Cruciatus and passed out instantly. There were no flashes of green light. No one was dead yet! Of course however, I couldn't even open my mouth and I saw Sirius' cry of anguish as he watched Peter fall. He yelled Expelliarmus and Mulciber's wand flew into his hand. He then punched him with the strength of someone four times his build and Mulciber's nose gushed blood as he felt dizzily to the floor too. I hadn't noticed but Avery was also on the floor, holding his head as if he had just been stunned or beffudled. My eyes flickered quickly to the group of Marauders converged around Peter. I breathed with relief. Once they knew he wasn't dead, they would come to me and we would all be ok. I was saved. I was finally, finally saved. The tears which had long since dried on my face, started to fall unconsciously.

"I think he's alright…he just passed out from the pain. Weak little bugger…" Sirius said with a rough cough, glancing up to me, his long, black hair falling gracefully into his eyes, despite being soaked with sweat and impossibly tangled. He was the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. He flashed me his beautiful lopsided grin and gave me an encouraging, comforting look. "I love you," he mouthed over the heads of his friends and I smiled dizzily.

_I felt very faint. I hadn't a clue if it was because of his smile or the fact that I didn't feel like I had complete control of my mind._

My thoughts were darting all over the place and I had no idea why I was suddenly thinking of the precise shade of my sister Sarah's hair, or my mother's diamond necklace. My father's booming voice tickled my ears and then there were the flashes of my friends: Dorcas and Marlene grinning through blackened eyelashes while they played Exploding Snap. Lily rolling her eyes at me playfully as James gave her flowers. James ruffling his friends' hair with carefree laughter, Remus' amused but disapproving face as his friends broke school rules. Peter Pettigrew falling to his knees as he tried in vain to help save me. And Sirius, Sirius everywhere – in the Owlery, in our dark corners, at Hogsmeade, in Transfiguration….Sirius everywhere. In front of me…his lopsided grin. It was fading.

"Everyone reacts different Sirius just because you and Mary could withstand it…doesn't mean Petey is…weak." Remus was of course being diplomatic.

"Lily, shut up, I am not letting you take that off until we get these two to Dumbledore…" James yelled in frustration. I saw the flicker of Lily's face floating in mid air and I vaguely remembered James had an Invisibility Cloak. She pouted before covering her face in to nothingness again. She had come too. I wasn't crazy, the flashing lights from nowhere were from her. She was here to save me just like the others. I wanted to beam. I was the luckiest girl in the world. I have wonderful, loyal, caring friends and the most wonderful, handsome, loving boyfriend in the world to spend the rest of my life with. I thought of our haughty but shy children with his beautiful features and hair and my eyes. I could see us together forever, _but suddenly a haze of white fell over my happy picture…it was still fading. I squeezed my eyes together, trying to gather my thoughts. He was looking at me vaguely as if he was dying to come over, but I shook my head at him. I'm not quite sure how I managed.  
_

"Are you ok Mary?" he asked, standing up looking at me with a hesitant smile.

"Better now you're here," I croaked and he smiled wider and lopsidedly. His grey eyes cleared away the cloud and they sparkled as he looked at me, his lower lip slightly pushed out.

"I love you," I muttered to him, I felt quite sure this would be the laugh time. He echoed me in a tight, controlled voice before bending down and unlocking my chains with some knife he was holding. He caressed my face and kissed the tip of my nose before whispering,  
"We're just going to get Pete onto a stretcher and I'll be right back ok?" he said tucking my matted hair behind my ear. I nodded. Perhaps I didn't look that bad, he was looking at me so fondly. He could take hours for all I cared, I was safe now. But I was worried.

_Wait…what was I worried about again? I couldn't get my thoughts together…nothing seemed to make sense. Who was that boy with black hair?  
_

"Did you get their wands?" Sirius asked, turning to the others and walking forward. His voice was garbled and sounded foreign to me. James and Remus nodded, holding up the pieces of the broken wands. Sirius barked with laughter.

"Fantastic! Lily didn't even need to fight that hard. We didn't even need our secret weapon!"

Lily pulled the cloak off her even though James moaned. "Wait, where's her wand?!" she said in alarm, shooting her head around to look at the desk prop.

They all froze and turned to me with shock. The last coherent thought I had was that I knew what had happened. They had my wand. The Death Eaters.

And then I felt the worst, excruciating pain run through my body completely. It was worse than all the other times. It was wrenching my heart, entering my head. I couldn't think clearly anymore at all, something was coming loose. The last things I heard were a female scream and Sirius' deep, desperate shout of 'No!' before everything went completely black.

* * *


	39. Chapter 39

Dead

**SIRIUS POV**

My head was pounding. I hadn't slept in a good 48 hours. But who could sleep? Who needs it? I know I don't. Not when my Mary is just lying there. Cold and still. I cursed myself again for not getting her out of there sooner. We were all just scared about Pete…but what's wrong with me? How could I forget to put binding spells on the Death Eaters? Eventually Lily had done it, but not until Mary had sunk to the floor, looking like a vegetable. And now, here we were sitting in the Hospital Wing, waiting for her to wake up…and it's my fault. I thought back to the Sleeping Potion. It seemed like just yesterday but it was months and months ago. I stifled a yawn and rubbed my impossibly tired eyes. I saw my reflection in the shiny glass case of medical supplies and didn't recognize the man who looked back at me. There wasn't even a ghost of a laugh on my troubled face. My skin was sallow and my eyes were sunken. If possible, I looked deader than Mary. The lump in my throat, which had finally exploded and let my emotions run free was back. I coughed softly trying to force it away but it stayed stubbornly there. My eyes darted to the sleeping figures huddled around Mary's bed. James and Remus were snoozing in their chairs, while Peter lay in the bed next to hers. He was alright, just a little rattled and as worried about Mary as we were. Lily had her head on Mary's bed and she was clutching her limp, cold hand as she slept restlessly.

I was alone. And so the first tear fell down my face. It wasn't hysterical as it had been when I found that she wasn't waking up in the Room. The emotion was just slipping away from me. I didn't want to be weak like this, but I felt like I'd just lost the only girl I'd ever loved. Or ever could love.

I felt dead. I wanted to be dead.

* * *

**LILY POV**

I pretended to be asleep when I heard Sirius' tight, rough cough. I'd never seen him break down like that before. I can't believe it. How could we have been so stupid? Mary was practically on her death bed and it was at her own wand's hand! The spot on the bed where my head lay was wet. I couldn't stop the tears either. I half opened my eyes fixing my gaze on Sirius. His lip was trembling and he was looking vaguely at the medicine cabinet. I saw the glistening of his eyes and I saw desperation in his handsome face as he tried to pull the tears back in. I wanted to comfort him, but James had warned me not to push him. After we had gotten her to the Hospital Wing, all the emotion Sirius had shown in the Room of Requirement was wiped off his face as he robotically carried Mary into the room and lay her down, watching Miss Pomfrey with dead eyes as he sat in the chair closest to her.

It was just so unfair. Why sweet, innocent little Mary? She had never harmed anything. She was finally happy and confident and in love with someone who loved her back. She and Sirius made each other happy and now the cruel, horrible, unfair world had taken her away. Not only from him, but from ME and from all of us. It made no sense. She wasn't even of age yet…she wasn't even of age and she could've lost her life altogether. My stomach clenched when I thought of Avery and Mulciber. We had finally managed to stun them enough times that they became unconscious and still. Without a second thought I'd sent ropes to tie them up and cast a shield around them. If only I'd thought of that the first time. I couldn't risk Sirius being sent to Azkaban too. James wasn't joking. Sirius would've killed them without a second thought. It took everything in me not to kill them myself.

I could hear Sirius sniffing and gathering himself together and so, pretended to stir too. I sleepily opened my eyes and looked at him. He was watching me without a smile. There was no emotion on his carefully controlled features.

"Morning," I said and he nodded looking at the sun which was starting to appear in the window. The glinting of the sun cast strange shadows and highlights around the room. The majority of the light was on Mary's bed and it gave her a ghostly, unnatural glow. I felt sick to my stomach. I almost didn't notice Sirius' abrupt movement as he stomped over to the window and pulled the blinds shut. The room returned to its dim, comforting light and I heard James and Remus beginning to wake up.

"Is she awake yet?" Remus asked anxiously.

I felt James' strong hands on my shoulders and I was instantly comforted.

"No," Sirius replied in a monotone.

"Good morning," came a low, sympathetic voice. Professor Dumbledore.

* * *

**JAMES POV**

It was strangely depressing seeing the man who had once saved the Wizarding World. Despite his greeting, he was aware, as we were that this morning was anything but good. He showed us no sign of hope and just looked sad as his piercing, blue eyes studied Mary's lifeless figure lying in the Hospital bed. I hurriedly rubbed my eyes and sat up. Peter still slept but Moony, Lily and I paid the old Wizard our undivided attention. It was only Sirius who stared stubbornly at a spot under Mary's bed. I hadn't seen him like this ever. And I've seen Padfoot in some pretty distraught moods. A lot of unfair things have happened to him in his life, it just didn't make sense that this happened too.

"Do you have news Professor?" Moony asked politely, breaking the silence in the room.

Dumbledore looked grim. He sighed and drew up a chair for himself, taking a seat and bringing himself down to our level.

"Avery and Mulciber have been expelled. Aurors came this morning to deliver them to Azkaban, although I cannot lie, I doubt they will be there for a long time."

"What!?" I asked in outrage. "They used more than one Unforgivable Curse, multiple times! How-"

"I didn't say they wouldn't be _sentenced_ to a lifetime in prison James, I merely was referring to the fact that Azkaban no longer belongs to the Ministry," Dumbledore explained calmly.

"Oh…" I said thinking of Lord Voldemort and feeling a chill go up my spine.

"Do you know what happened to Mary? They didn't use the Killing Curse…" Lily spoke up in a small voice. My hand automatically returned to her shoulder and she placed a hand over it in thanks.

Dumbledore looked troubled. "I cannot be sure until she wakes up, however it seems that she reached the end of her tether. The amount of torture she endured…the results…" he left it at that, probably because Lily had gasped and her tears ran freely down her beautiful face.

"Can't we wake her?" Remus asked in a stiff voice. I'm surprised he could speak. I was finding it horribly difficult right now. My eyes flickered to where Sirius was now completely stiff. His eyes had not moved from burning a hole in the ground.

"We can try," Dumbledore said kindly. He stood and inched past Sirius to stand next to Mary. He raised his wand but was suddenly interrupted with a stiff, cold voice I wouldn't have recognized if I hadn't seen his lips move.

"Why aren't you angry at us? Why haven't you expelled us too?" Sirius asked, not moving his eyes. They were dark and cloudy, which told me he probably had a million thoughts running through his head.

Dumbledore lowered his wand and turned to Sirius.

"Mr.Black, you five saved her life and caught two Death Eaters in the process…I should reward you with Services to the School…"

"No. We're not even sure if we saved her...she could still be…. We took too long. We did things completely wrong. We were careless and made mistakes. If you had been there…YOU wouldn't have left her wand just lying around when the Death Eaters weren't even tied up…" His voice was icy and angry as he turned his glare to Dumbledore who was probably hiding his shock very well.

"I failed her. If I hadn't been so after the glory of being her knight in shining armour…she'd be ok. A little rattled, but you would've found her!" Sirius half yelled.

"Remember Sirius…I _hadn't_ found her," Dumbledore said in a quiet voice.

Sirius growled and walked away toward the window.

"Go…" Lily whispered to me and I did, putting a hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

* * *

**REMUS POV**

It was sickening. Sirius taking it on himself. He was usually the last person to claim responsibility. He felt guilt for very little. That was just Sirius, carefree and rebellious. Seeing him like this destroyed me. I could see it was destroying James too. Even Lily looked distraught. Seeing Sirius shrug James' hand off his shoulder, I knew he might want a moment of privacy. He could only allow James to see him this way. So, I spoke up,

"Professor Dumbledore…?"

"Ah yes, Remus," he said, his eyes still on Sirius for a moment before turning to Mary and lifting his wand. "Revenerate."

Mary's eyes fluttered open and I heard Lily gasp.

"Where am I?" Mary asked in her shy, quiet voice.

Sirius whirled around immediately and crossed the room in three long strides, James on his heels. Apprehensive smiles were on both their faces. Sirius' looked full of raw emotion and I thought for a moment we ought to all leave. It seemed to be a very private moment between them we were invading, until we heard what she said next.

"Who are all of you?" she said looking scared.

"Do you know who you are?" Dumbledore asked, ignoring Sirius sharp inhale of breath.

Mary looked thoughtful. "No…no, I don't!" her voice was frantic, terrified as she pulled the covers around her tightly, her eyes wide and empty. She didn't even seem to know that she was talking. I looked at Dumbledore in desperation but he looked tight-lipped.

"Come on Mary…you know…" Lily tried, lips trembling, tears still running down her face as she reached for her friend's hand.

"Who are you! Get away!" Mary screamed and Peter woke up with a start. Lily jumped back as if she was scalded.

"Mary…you're Mary MacDonald…Sixth Year…Gryffindor…" I tried next as Peter got out of bed, wide-eyed in awe.

"Why are you talking to me!? What are those things..? Who are you people?!" she shrieked as tears swam from her watery green eyes. She rubbed them frantically practically clawing her eyes out.

"Miss MacDonald…please," Dumbledore began but she just went silent, her eyes wide with fear. She was clearly very, very scared of the tall old man with long white hair. He understood and stepped back without another word.

"Come on Mary…you're messing with us…please say you're just messing with us…" James said in a disbelieving, quiet voice as he held his arms around Lily who was sobbing quietly into his shoulder.

"Please…" Peter murmured. He looked almost as frightened as she did.

She shook her head violently. She spoke but not a thing made sense, it was just nonsense, her eyes looked blank and she seemed dizzy. I was suddenly scared of the quiet girl that no one noticed until this year.

"MARY! Don't you know me? Me…?" Sirius spoke up suddenly and we all fell deadly quiet as we watched him, his face desperate. He tried to smile, but the effort was too much. Mary had gone quiet. She was silent, staring at Sirius, fidgeting with the sheet. He tentatively took a step toward her, the smallest of smiles on his face as he crept up next to her. Her head twitched to the side slightly manically but he didn't notice. He lifted his hand carefully and Mary watched it frantically. He brushed her hair off her eyes and she closed her eyes. For a moment, we were all certain it was coming back to her. We watched with bated breath as she opened her mouth and said in a small, frightened voice.

"Please…don't kill me."

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

I felt myself crush as she said those words to me and I stepped back carefully whispering,

"I would never... I love you."

She didn't seem to hear though because suddenly her eyes had rolled to the back of her head and she was screaming. She was screaming the same, torturous scream I had heard when Avery got his last shot in. And as she screamed, I ran. I pushed past Dumbledore, my shoulder bumping roughly into Lily and James who were in each other's arms and tripped over a carelessly placed bedpan as I stumbled past it all, my head in a blur.

I hurled myself from the Hospital Wing running as fast as I could through the silent corridors, past Peeves who was banging loudly on the large bell in a tower, through the fairly full corridor in front of the Great Hall. I ignored the looks of concern as the students waiting to go to breakfast hurried to move from my way and I bumped headfirst into Richard Davies. There was a pause as we stared at each other and suddenly he seemed to understand. His mouth fell open as I shoved blindly past him and raced to the beech tree, falling back against it, panting furiously, feeling the bile in my throat and the burning in my eyes. With a huge, chest jerking movement I vomited all over the grass until I lay back in an oblivious daze, tears leaking from my until now, well-controlled eyes. Thinking with horrible shivers of Mary's beautiful green eyes, gazed over and vacant.

Dead inside.

* * *

**PETER POV**

I don't have a clue how long Sirius was out on the grounds. Time seemed to pass really, really fast as Dumbledore pushed us out of the Hospital Wing. Miss Pomfrey gave Mary some Potion and she looked almost normal as she drifted back to sleep. She was really scary, screaming like that. I don't know how she managed having even one Cruciatus curse on her, when apparently I'd passed out from the pain. I wished when I woke up, I could even once have the power to make someone feel like that but I tried to dismiss the thought, instead joining my friends in their gloom. Lily was crying her eyes out and James was patting her head and stroking her hair. He had this really thoughtful expression on his face. It seemed like he was millions of miles away. Remus was red in the face. He looked like he was going to be sick. We went past everyone like zombies. I wanted to explain to someone but I figured it was private so kept quiet. I hadn't even realized but Professor McGonagall was escorting us back to Gryffindor tower. She left us in the common room and hurried off somewhere. Remus said, Mary's family was here. I can't imagine how they'll feel, not even knowing their own daughter. She wouldn't know them either, I bet. While everyone looked quite dead, my fingers itched to practice the spell I'd just had on me. That gave people power. Think how afraid James and Sirius would be if I could threaten them with that curse. Oh no, what am I thinking?! Just because they tease me all the time doesn't mean I should want to harm them… Oh no, I really ought to be thinking about Mary anyway. Time for my solemn face.

* * *

**SIRIUS POV**

I didn't come back inside until it was dinner time. I wasn't in the least hungry, but I thought I ought to check on the others. I wasn't the only one going through this, I had to constantly remind myself. I saw the MacDonalds come in to Hogwarts too. I felt the familiar tug in my chest thinking about what they were going through. At least someone else understood, a little.

I walked through the doors slowly, not even bothering to cover up my red eyes and dirty face. My face was composed now, but the effects of earlier were still swimming in every inch of me. I felt my stomach lurch when my thoughts went back to Mary but I forced the vision from my head and sat down with my friends. They were all staring off into space vacantly. They looked as depressed as they had the last time I saw them, early this morning. James nodded at me slightly and I saw his eyes raking my face for a trace of emotion, but he wouldn't get anything. I refused to show anyone how broken and hopeless I felt right now. We ate, or rather picked at our food for about twenty minutes, oblivious to the whispers and worried conversation that surrounded us. All of our thoughts were elsewhere. That's when my eyes caught the entranceway.

There was a beautiful woman, wearing dazzling diamonds and weeping into a handkerchief standing there. She stood clinging to a nice, normal looking, friendly man who seemed to have the same vacant expression the rest of us held in our eyes. He was nodding absently to Dumbledore who looked grim but comforting. And there was Sarah. The whispers increased, everyone reveling in the return of the classically beautiful, fun, popular Sarah MacDonald. By now, everyone was aware something was up with Mary. If they only knew the half of it.

Sarah looked less beautiful today. Her hair was tangled and roughly pulled into a ponytail and under the red rims of her eyes were smudged in black and her eyes were watery. My heart tugged at the sight, thinking fondly of the familiar set of eyes I was completely in love with. I had to pull in a sharp breath to keep from losing my senses again, when she saw me. Her eyes had been helplessly searching the room and they finally stopped, resting directly on me. To my surprise, they narrowed and before Dumbledore or her parents could notice she was storming over here.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" she screamed in a very unlike Sarah voice.

I stood and she hurled herself near me. James got in the way just in time, holding her back as she flung her arms around. They were flailing all over the place and a fresh set of tears were falling down her beautiful face as she screamed profanities at me.

"HOW DARE YOU!? This is your fault! How could you let this happen!?"

"I…Sarah…" I tried, but I had no words. She was saying everything I was thinking.

"You bloody bastard. You let this happen to her. You were supposed to protect her! All you ever brought her was PAIN!"

"Sarah! This isn't Sirius' fault! It's all of us! We should've been faster!" Lily said jumping to her feet, defending me. Sarah's eyes shot dangerously to Lily and her face crumpled as she sobbed. James rubbed circles into her back, holding her to him and I saw that her parents and Dumbledore were walking over to us quickly.

"You did this Sirius! They wanted YOU. They wanted your blood to be part of the Death Eaters…" Sarah was wailing and my chest was tight. My fists balled together, fighting hard, hard not to lose it.

"MY sister! My baby sister. You said you'd look after her. You promised not to hurt her, but now she's like this and she's miserable! She doesn't know anything, she's lost her mind! She doesn't know me Sirius, she doesn't even know my bloody face!" Sarah looked hysterical as she glared at me, sobbing and beating against James trying to free herself. Remus stood up too, trying to help and calm her but she just kept crying until she finally flung herself away and into her mother's arms. Her mother hugged her tightly, crying with her as they started to walk out. She screamed out one last thing as they exited the Hall to stunned silence,

"I'll never forgive you. SHE'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!"

Her father was left and he said in a hard, cold voice that didn't suit him,

"Stay away from my family, Black!" he spat, before turning away and following his wife and daughter.

I don't know what happened after that but all I knew what that I was on my knees, staring at nothing, feeling sicker than ever. James and Lily were on either side, trying to talk to me, while Dumbledore, Remus and Peter looked on anxiously. I could do nothing. I shoved my friends roughly off me and walked out into the dark. When I got far enough away from the buildings, I transformed into Padfoot and ran far into the Forbidden Forest, never wanting to come out.

It was my fault she was like this. Sarah was right, I was supposed to protect her and I'd failed.

I would never forgive myself.

* * *

_**A/N: Thanks for your response. I am afraid that after this chapter there will only be an epilogue in which all is resolved. Please give me one last shout before I end this all.**_


	40. Chapter 40

_**A/N: I held off on posting this for as long as I could bear because I wasn't ready for it to end. Please see Author's Note at the end :)**_

* * *

Sirius Black: Epilogue

**_The end of Sixth year_** was hell for me. Though the news of Mary's condition had swept through the school like wildfire, people were confused about the details. It wasn't unusual for me to walk through the hall and hear someone whispering about how I'd tortured Mary for various reasons ranging from "I was a Death Eater" to "I was mad that she didn't sleep with me". I hollowly walked on, a shell of a human being for the rest of the year. I ignored everyone, including myself. I still went to Full Moons but Padfoot had less of the playfulness my friends were used to. I moved when I was needed, if Remus needed calming down, I was there vicious as ever. Otherwise I spoke only when I was spoken to. Only a few words. "Yes," "No," "Fine".

It was difficult bottling my emotions but it was all I could do. I listened robotically to James and Lily try to convince me that Sarah was just upset. I heard Remus and Peter say that Mr.MacDonald would probably allow me to see her at some point. I knew she was at St.Mungo's. Dumbledore had me come in to see him several times before the end of the year, but I told him little of what I was feeling. So much for counseling sessions, eh? I felt empty, just as Mary was. It hurt seeing my friends going off to the Hospital to see her on weekends while I stayed back and reminisced. It made me angry to think that Mary wasn't even in the right state of mind to argue with her family about me seeing her.

The year passed quickly and it led me to a reckless and exciting summer. I needed a different outlet to become myself again and gradually I did. By the end of the summer, Prongs and I would go for late night excursions on my motorcycle, get mixed up with the Muggle Policemen and enjoy the last moments of youth. For me it was a return to myself, at the very least outwardly. I could not look at any of the girls throwing themselves at me, trying to comfort me. I enjoyed my summer with the boys. I was happy for James when Lily returned his letters. I sympathized with Remus when he decided, for her own good, to end it with Cheryl. I even helped Peter practice some of the spells he was sure to fail next year. I was there as I always was for my friends, but they worried for me, because despite being cheerful and optimistic on the outside, it was a broken, fake version of me. All I wanted was to get out of Hogwarts so I could throw myself into Auror training. I never mentioned Mary, only asked how she was every time my friends came back from visiting her. I thought of her often and dreaded the day that school began again. Without her.

* * *

_**Seventh Year**_. Prongs had made Head Boy to Lily's Head Girl and they started dating almost immediately. I was as happy as I could be for them. We threw ourselves headfirst into our Seventh Year, taking note of our favourite things, moments, places. For me, something was missing the whole time. Lily and I became close. Not only because she and James were dating but because we had been the closest people to Mary at school. Sometimes when James would nod off on the sofa in the common room, Lily would tell me in detail about her last visit. It made my heart ache but I was glad for the little details. I missed my Mary more than I could bear and nothing seemed to make it better. It wasn't until November that I think I smiled my first, truly genuine smile. Sarah MacDonald had sent me a letter. She apologized for her rash behaviour and said her father apologized too. She thought it would be very nice if I came to visit Mary, perhaps I could jog her memory. I was thrilled but dreaded the day. I was going to see her three days before Christmas, right as the holidays began. From what Lily had explained, it seemed her family was deluding themselves. Mary hadn't lost her memory, she'd lost her mind. She was completely nonsensical. She didn't recognize anyone. She screamed for no reason and always looked frightened.

Lily came with me. James understood that I needed her for this but wanted more time alone with her which is why the others chose not to come too.

I tucked my shirt in nervously and tried to make my hair look a little neater as I tapped my shoes on the floor in the waiting room. I clutched a bouquet of daisies. They were her favourite…at least they used to be.

Lily placed her comforting hand on my back and I breathed a little easier. Finally the nurse popped her head around the doorway and smiled widely at me.

"You may see her now…" she said, her eyes raking up and down my body. I wanted to be sick. Not because this woman was ugly or anything, but because I was seeing the love of my life and there was no need for the bloody nurse to flirt with me.

"Don't be discouraged if she screams…sometimes I think it means she's enjoying herself," the nurse twittered on cheerfully. I closed my eyes, controlling my emotions carefully.

"Will you give us some privacy?" Lily snapped backing the annoyed nurse out and slamming the door. She sighed and I smiled a little before I turned to nervously look at Mary. I hadn't seen her in months and months but she hadn't changed. Her hair was no longer matted and her face wasn't dirty or sweaty, but her once beautiful green eyes were glazed over and wide. She was foreign to me. She was crouching in her bed, making herself as small as possible.

"Hello Mary!" Lily said cheerfully. "Look, you've got a new visitor…didn't you miss him?"

Her eyes flickered to me and they looked vacant and unknowing. I could hardly breathe as I forced a pathetic smile on my face.

"His smile is a bit lopsided isn't it?" she whispered to Lily who laughed and sent me an encouraging look. I approached slowly, feeling for once hopeful. Mary seemed to be used to Lily although she had no recollection of being her best friend.

"She remembers me today…" Lily whispered happily. Apparently not only did Mary have no idea who we are, but she also forgot her visitors as frequently as they came.

"Hi Mary…" I said in a soft voice. She turned her head to look at me, but she ducked and blushed wildly. I remembered vividly the first time I'd noticed her and her pleasant blush. It all seemed so very long ago, but it was familiar and that gave me hope.

"I brought you daisies…" I said sticking them out to her. She took them carefully and sniffed.

"I like them. I think they're my favourite," she whispered in her shy little way and I felt my heart lurch. I missed her so much. It was almost as if she was herself again. Unable to stop myself, I smiled and laughed throatily. I moved my hand forward slowly brushing her hair off her eyes and they were the clear, pale green they always were…but only for a moment. Suddenly, she dropped the flowers and screamed, her eyes going almost white. She screamed and grabbed the sides of her bed desperately.

"He's going to kill me! He's trying to kill me!!" she kept screaming, suddenly clutching Lily who looked at me in alarm. I stared in horror as my beautiful girl started to cry on Lily's shoulder. She looked apologetic as the nurse ran in and Lily whispered,

"You'd better wait outside Sirius…"

The next few times I visited, it was never as bad. She didn't scream because of me anymore, but she had no interest in me whatsoever. She listened vaguely to stories James told her, nibbled on the chocolate Remus brought. She even laughed when Peter fell off his chair once. She had taken to Lily whenever she saw her and even hugged her now and then. But she barely looked at me. It was as if I was invisible.

I went completely unnoticed.

* * *

_**Soon NEWTS were upon us **_and there was no time to visit Mary anymore, though I thought of her everyday. I wanted so bad for her to come back to me, but I knew what the Healer had said as well as the next person. "Irreversible spell damage." We all did decently on our NEWTS of course. James and I moved out into an apartment in London and started Auror Training. Remus found work at a bank for a while but he had to switch jobs constantly, especially since he was a registered werewolf which no one gave jobs to. Peter grew distant for a while but soon he was back and friendlier than ever. We all remained close and it was completely expected when James asked Lily to marry him. They were perfect for each other and I adored Lily as much as I loved James like a brother. It felt comforting to know that despite feeling lost without Her…I still had my friends. They were a constant and they were what I kept living for.

Of course then, there was the Order of the Phoenix. We all joined upon Dumbledore's request and were eager to make a difference in this war, which had driven so many people apart and taken one of our best friends from us. Marlene and Dorcas provided some female comfort to Lily at meeting but she spent almost all her time with us. And we barely saw Mary anymore. Lily and I went occasionally, but things had gotten worse instead of better. She was an empty shell. She could barely process a conversation and was frequently glazed over in the eyes. It was a rotten existence, for her, for those close to her. It was hard for even Lily and I to go back and see her like that.

* * *

_**I only went back once more. **_It was the day of Lily and James' wedding. I went early in the morning. I thought it was appropriate to say goodbye today. I had so often imagined her as Lily's maid of honour while I was James' best man. I had even imagined them returning the favour to us. I was dressed well and I was glad. I wanted to be as perfect as I could possibly be for her that day. Selfishly, I needed to say goodbye…it was too hard for me now. It was simply too difficult to see her this way with no recollection of me. With a little convincing, I eventually got a young nurse to get me in before visitation hours and I settled myself in the seat by her bed.

The beautiful eyes were glazed over as she stared emptily at the wall, not noticing I was there. I cleared my throat, but still nothing. It hurt too much to see this. Finally, I decided to speak, remembering the time when she was in the sleeping coma and I'd spoken to her then. I opened my mouth and Mary leaned back against the pillow still staring ahead, but somehow I convinced myself this meant she was listening.

"So McNamey…long time no see I guess? I brought you more daisies…they're on your table. Sarah will like them, she told me it gives the room a nice smell. They're your favourite…so I suppose you agree." I paused, trying to laugh and bit my lip feeling very young all of a sudden.

"I've only got a year of Auror training left, but I decided to leave…James is way more cut out for it…I'm sort of…well living off the money Uncle Alphard gave me…I don't feel so guilty I suppose, because James is living off his parent's fortune too. I don't know if…if you heard but James asked Lily to marry him. Today's the wedding…Finally eh!? I thought it was going to take us pulling out all of their teeth to convince them they were made for each other…" I smiled, looking at her. She had a dizzy smile on her own face and it comforted me. I knew she wasn't smiling at my words, but I was happy that she looked happy.

"Yeah, so I'm best man…I look like a right git dressed up like this. Proper stuffy. You should've been with me you know…you would've looked really nice in the bridesmaid robes Lily picked. They're lavender. Suits your complexion…brightens your eyes. I forgot…just how beautiful your eyes are. They startle me, every time I see them…" I stopped, gulping down the lump in my throat and cautiously reaching for her hand. Although she was still looking off into some faraway place, she clutched at my hand and it made me chuckle.

"Remember the Owlery? I heard Dumbledore's having it redone…it's a shame really. If I ever go back to visit Hogwarts, I'd want to see it there as it used to be…it reminds me of you. But then again, everything reminds me of you, Mary…I just wish it hadn't been like this. I wanted to be with you forever, you know?…oh dammit, I said I wouldn't…" I wiped the tears away roughly.

"It's not very manly is it? Crying all the time? You wouldn't approve I'm sure. I was always a bit of a cold-hearted bastard, but I suppose that was the attraction wasn't it? Merlin Mary…I miss the way you used to look at me. I miss everything about you. Why is it so bloody unfair? I finally love someone and they love me back and here you've gone and lost your mind…Merlin, I'm a selfish git. There I go thinking about myself again, don't be mad…"

I laughed bitterly, hollowly and she looked thoughtful. Her face finally turned to me. I stared at her apprehensively, hoping that she wouldn't scream. I couldn't bear that now.

Instead, she smiled and my heart leapt.

"Sirius?" she said in her soft, angelic voice.

I stood in alarm. "Mary!? Mary, love…you remember?"

She looked apologetic. "No, it's just a pretty name…"

I stared…searching her eyes, but they were blank and empty once more. But it had been enough. She'd said my name…just one last time.

"I love you…I will never, ever forget you. I'm sorry I have to leave now," I whispered touching my lips gently to her mouth. There was no response, but she didn't resist. She just lay back down and slept peacefully. And I left. It seemed the perfect way to go to my friends' wedding. I was happy and smiled throughout the whole thing, just thinking and remembering her beautiful voice saying my name.

* * *

_**I never saw her again of course.**_ She died while I was in Azkaban, falling into a coma and never waking up. Her family saw to her funeral arrangements apparently and her tombstone is somewhere in Comstockton, her hometown. I went to visit once, after Harry helped me escape on Buckbeak. I couldn't tell him about her. It would've only made him sadder than he already is. The boy had more weight on his shoulders than the entire world put together. He had it bad enough, what with Lily and James dying…and then me. When I died, I wished I'd told him about her, she deserved a note in his memory, although she wasn't mad that I hadn't. She was up there, with James and Lily…and Remus joined us after, bringing Dora. As much as I'd have liked our old, good Peter up there with us…Dora seemed to be a far more appropriate substitute. Poor Harry, his life was more tragic than any of ours. But he's happy now, at last.

Mary and I ended up together in the end. Maybe our story won't be told the way James and Lily's was. But it was important. It was the most important thing in the world to me.

It was important that I finally noticed her and she changed me.

* * *

_**A/N: And this was the end of my story. You have no idea how depressing it was writing the last few chapters, but I had a plan from the start and I knew I needed to go through with it. I hope you won't all hate me too much for doing such a disservice to my main character. I almost feel like Mary was someone I knew...40 chapters of her is a long time to get attached! I know it was a tragic end for Sirius too, but in general most HP characters had pretty tragic lives...I hope my epilogue resolved things a bit for you all.**_

_**I want to thank EVERYONE who reviewed, just once and thank the others for the multiple times they sent me encouragement...it really meant a lot to me to see you all as excited about the next chapter as I was. I really love you guys for being so patient and loyal, it's meant the world to me!**_

_**If you feel like you haven't had enough! I have more stories you can read of course...and feel free to give me a suggestion for another pairing. I think its time I attempted something other than a Marauder era pairing! Thanks again, hope this has found you all well...take care and one last time, review :) OH and Twilight fans - BREAKING DAWN!! :**_

_**Much love,**_

_**Pam **_

* * *


	41. THE SPIN OFF

_**NOTE TO : This will be taken down, shortly.**_

Hey Readers!

I know its been a few days since you expected anything more from this story, but I just wanted to add this quick note to let you all know I've decided to do a spin-off. It's Emmeline Vance's story. It will be short and sweet and will provide some mentions of an outsider's perspective of Sirius and Mary's relationship. Here is the Summary and the Title. Look for it in my profile :)

Thanks and I hope you'll all give it a chance. I miss you! Haha

Pam

**So I got noticed…but I never got the boy!**

_Short spin-off of "Again I go Unnoticed". _

I, Emmeline Vance dated Sirius Black. For over four months. I fell for him hard. And after Hogwarts, we spent a good portion of time together in the Order, but no, he never fell for me. At least not the way he did for Mary MacDonald. I still have a story though and it's worth hearing.


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